God Still Moves in Me
So today was rather weird. I was at Starbucks reading a book, and here comes my old friend CJ, well he sat down and we talked for a while. When low and behold he told me my ex Travis was in the hospital with cancer. Wow. That hit me pretty hard. I went home and talked to a couple people (thanks Abbey n' Chris for your help). And then I prayed long and hard as to whether or not I should go visit him.
History of me and Travis. He was my first bf ever, this was way back in first grade, he held my books and gave me roses (yes in the first grade), then after that we lost touch of each other and I met up with him again my Junior year of high school and we started dating again. We were supposed to go to prom together but a lot of bad stuff happened and there I was waiting for him and he never showed up. Then, I found out he was addicted to coke, and he kept telling me he would stop, he'd go into rehab and come out and get high.
So now we're back in the present and God told me to go to him. So I did, I went to the hospital to see him and he looked at me like he could not believe it. We talked a lot about his life and mine. He told me he was an idiot for letting me go and getting high. He was in the hospital for lung cancer and still smoking, he's an alcoholic, and still addicted to coke. His father died last year, his mother is in a nursing home, and he's been homeless for almost a year. His life sucks a lot, and it's funny how familiar this story sounds. But he wanted to kill himself. The hospital couldn't do anything because he didn't have any insurance, so he admitted himself out, and I took him to Starbucks, bought him a coffee and we talked for a couple more hours.
I kept telling him how much God did not give up on him, that he was giving up on God, and how much better his life could be. But what really got him was when I asked him if he thought his dad was in heaven, he said yes; so then I asked him if he thought he was going to heaven and he said he didn't think so. "Don't you want to see your dad again?" He started crying. I started crying.
I took him to a drug rehabilitation center, I gave him my address to write me, and then they took him away. He said he was doing this for me, because God sent someone that still cares about him. I told him to do it for God, and God alone.
I left.
On the looooooong ride home I cried, a lot. Not out of sadness, but out of joy. Because I finally realize that God still wants to use me. That God trusts me to do His will, that He is still there. I knew He was there all along, but now I can feel Him working through me. And that is why I cried. I don't know where those words came from today God spoke through me, and it felt so good to know that He still trusts me to do His will. Thank you God for believing in me and giving me another chance.
History of me and Travis. He was my first bf ever, this was way back in first grade, he held my books and gave me roses (yes in the first grade), then after that we lost touch of each other and I met up with him again my Junior year of high school and we started dating again. We were supposed to go to prom together but a lot of bad stuff happened and there I was waiting for him and he never showed up. Then, I found out he was addicted to coke, and he kept telling me he would stop, he'd go into rehab and come out and get high.
So now we're back in the present and God told me to go to him. So I did, I went to the hospital to see him and he looked at me like he could not believe it. We talked a lot about his life and mine. He told me he was an idiot for letting me go and getting high. He was in the hospital for lung cancer and still smoking, he's an alcoholic, and still addicted to coke. His father died last year, his mother is in a nursing home, and he's been homeless for almost a year. His life sucks a lot, and it's funny how familiar this story sounds. But he wanted to kill himself. The hospital couldn't do anything because he didn't have any insurance, so he admitted himself out, and I took him to Starbucks, bought him a coffee and we talked for a couple more hours.
I kept telling him how much God did not give up on him, that he was giving up on God, and how much better his life could be. But what really got him was when I asked him if he thought his dad was in heaven, he said yes; so then I asked him if he thought he was going to heaven and he said he didn't think so. "Don't you want to see your dad again?" He started crying. I started crying.
I took him to a drug rehabilitation center, I gave him my address to write me, and then they took him away. He said he was doing this for me, because God sent someone that still cares about him. I told him to do it for God, and God alone.
I left.
On the looooooong ride home I cried, a lot. Not out of sadness, but out of joy. Because I finally realize that God still wants to use me. That God trusts me to do His will, that He is still there. I knew He was there all along, but now I can feel Him working through me. And that is why I cried. I don't know where those words came from today God spoke through me, and it felt so good to know that He still trusts me to do His will. Thank you God for believing in me and giving me another chance.