For my final post to this column, I’m going to do something I never thought I’d do as a former Republican. I am asking you to vote Democratic this November 7th. I am asking you to literally save the future of this country by voting the Republican idiocracy out of the House of Representatives and the Senate ( Read more... )

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/bitterjesus7.jpg

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/alexwinter/BitterJesus8.jpg Leave a comment  4 

I’m pretty sure that if Jesus is around right now, he’s slumped over a bar sucking down shot after shot of whiskey, glaring bleary eyed at a flickering television set in a corner. The television is rife with death and laser guided bombs and rockets annihilating residential buildings and dazed, bloody civilians wandering through the rubble screaming ( Read more... )

I don't know if you believe all that crap in the Bible about Jesus always being a peaceloving savior who preached tolerance, healed the sick and sacrificed himself for the sake of us miserable losers. Jesus didn't fuck around. Take for example the time he freaked out and went totally berzerk on the money changers in the temple. Motherfucker whooped ( Read more... )

In addition to writing anti-Republican screeds and ugly stories about alcoholism and ( Read more... )

Or so I've been told by friends and family. The below links to a few of my pictures probably prove it. I plan on sumbitting these as evidence when I plead insanity at a future trial. Then, after the conviction, I'll spend the rest of my days kicking back in an insane asylum where I'm fed baby food and narcotics at regular intervals ( Read more... )

So we've got this new fucking Russian guy named Michael Kueller in my office (goes by the nickname of Mitch) who is supposed to be our QA lead. He speaks broken English like a retarded 4 year old and apparently has no sense of humor whatsoever (I guess years of having nothing to eat but shoe leather after the collapse of communism will do that to a ( Read more... )

This one is gonna be quick, no sense in wasting any God damn time when I'm this hungover at work. I started my New Year's partying 2 days early and was out boozing in the East Village until fuck knows when. Thank God for Tums and Vicodin. If I can just get through this workday without vomiting on anyone, my 5 year streak will remain unbroken and ( Read more... )

If I was stuck in Iraq I’d be really fucking pissed off right now ( Read more... )

A bunch of months back, I went off on a screed in the Downmarketguru column that ended with "The United States of America will be a third world nation in less than 10 years ( Read more... )