I'd try leaving him a message somewhere to the effect of, "I had a great time, maybe we could do it again?" Possibly also mention that you have some free time coming up? TBH I'm not sure what to make of the good conversation combined with the physical distance at the end either.
So I'm not the only one who thinks he's sending mixed messages? That's comforting.
Also, I have a wedding coming up in December that I'd like to take him to. If he's sitting on the fence, is that likely to send him running the other direction? Obviously, we just started dating, so it's not about veiled expectations on my part; I just want the pleasure of his company. Do you think I should be clear about that if/when I ask him, or should I just suck it up and go alone?
I was going to suggest you emphasize that you just want an escort you can have a nice time with, but after reading the other comments I'm starting to second-guess myself. XD;
There's definitely some mixed messages coming from his end, though. How did you and David break up, if I might ask? From the sound of things, David said some things about you that definitely left a lasting impression, and you'll need to deal with that at some point if you want to keep seeing this guy.
Yeah, I think I'm going to wait to see if things get a little more serious before asking him to the wedding.
David and I had a pretty amicable breakup, as far as breakups go. He said a few things that were hurtful and/or nonsensical, so we had a couple awkward e-mail exchanges where I tried to get him to explain himself and never got a straight answer. We even tried to be friends again, but it was suddenly ridiculously uncomfortable where it had always been effortless, so we stopped. (And David either has no clue what he said or won't tell me, so I'm still in the dark as to what Aharon might have heard.)
So are you saying put off RSVPing as long as possible and ask him in a few weeks, or don't ask him to this wedding?
The differences aren't insignificant, but it didn't seem to me that they were dealbreakers, either. We voted differently on pretty much everything, but he seemed to understand and respect my reasons for voting the way I did (i.e. that I voted for our new "death with dignity" law, because that's a decision I don't have the right to make for anyone else, etc.)
I think the problem with the liquor-related touching is that I have a lot more inhibitions when I'm sober. When I wasn't, I sat down on his chair and I asked him to dance. Normally I don't have that kind of confidence to start things. I think I gave him chances to be physical, but my perception and his might be completely different. I had a guy I dated once tell me that I gave off an impenetrable innocence vibe, and I have no idea how or how to stop.
That sounds...weird. I dunno. I agree with the advice other people have given you, but the 'oh, so YOU'RE Christine!' makes me worry, tbh - he might be thinking that you're still in love with David or he's still in love with you.
I think the way I answered when he asked me about it (that David and I hadn't talked for four years, etc.) made it clear that there aren't any remaining feelings on my side. Should I ask David what he might have said, then or now?
Hmm, I'd say no, but I suppose you could sound David out on what this guy's like (and whether the guy has said anything about you). This is probably out of date now, but oh well. sorry.
is Audrey, not logging in because lazy
anonymous
November 13 2008, 00:26:40 UTC
If it is any help, it's going to be a fairly low-key event, this wedding. Dancing isn't going to be a main thing of the reception, and we're nixing the bouquet/garter toss (because the only way to make the two things comparable is to pull the bouquet from Dan's fly, and that's not really an image my relatives want to take away). I don't know if that's a helpful thing or not, but just an FYI.
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Also, I have a wedding coming up in December that I'd like to take him to. If he's sitting on the fence, is that likely to send him running the other direction? Obviously, we just started dating, so it's not about veiled expectations on my part; I just want the pleasure of his company. Do you think I should be clear about that if/when I ask him, or should I just suck it up and go alone?
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There's definitely some mixed messages coming from his end, though. How did you and David break up, if I might ask? From the sound of things, David said some things about you that definitely left a lasting impression, and you'll need to deal with that at some point if you want to keep seeing this guy.
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David and I had a pretty amicable breakup, as far as breakups go. He said a few things that were hurtful and/or nonsensical, so we had a couple awkward e-mail exchanges where I tried to get him to explain himself and never got a straight answer. We even tried to be friends again, but it was suddenly ridiculously uncomfortable where it had always been effortless, so we stopped. (And David either has no clue what he said or won't tell me, so I'm still in the dark as to what Aharon might have heard.)
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The differences aren't insignificant, but it didn't seem to me that they were dealbreakers, either. We voted differently on pretty much everything, but he seemed to understand and respect my reasons for voting the way I did (i.e. that I voted for our new "death with dignity" law, because that's a decision I don't have the right to make for anyone else, etc.)
I think the problem with the liquor-related touching is that I have a lot more inhibitions when I'm sober. When I wasn't, I sat down on his chair and I asked him to dance. Normally I don't have that kind of confidence to start things. I think I gave him chances to be physical, but my perception and his might be completely different. I had a guy I dated once tell me that I gave off an impenetrable innocence vibe, and I have no idea how or how to stop.
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