(no subject)
so today was pretty good. got out of school brought sakina to get her ears pierced and hung out wityh joey and jon. joeys modem broke so he cant go on xbox live or the internet kinda sucks... so then me and joey went to the mall to buy magic cards and then to the store to buy his grandma flowers just cuz. then i came home to a message from tom and it really upset me... heres parts of it:
Alright well there's a few things you need to hear, and a few more things you need to know. I'm going to be straight with you and I honestly couldnt care less what your opinion is because I'm not doing this for you... it's for me. First and foremost, you and I are friends from now on and that's that. That probably doesnt bother you and I don't expect it to. Also, you need to stop with the 'you cant talk to other girls without pissin me off' attitude because I'm sick of it. Your words stopped meaning anything to me when all you can do is talk and not show any actions. You know whether you love someone or not and if thats the case you be with them and not play them like a fucking toy because thats exactly what happened here, and I'm sorry that I didnt believe it earlier on when i should have, but this is a good example of the entire fucking reason I agreed never to put girls b4 friendship...because friendships last. I've tried and tried to make us work and i've passed up a lot of great girls because of how strongly i felt for YOU, but I guess it's too bad that you didn't want to be with me but looking at it now i was just going to get hurt anyway. Maybe not now but eventually you'd find someone that you thought was better and then I'd get fucked over.Sadly I'm not a superficial person and how you look means nothing to me. Ashley you're really a great person to hang out with, you're funny and I like your personality but we are supposed to be friends nothing more. I'm always gonna be there for you as a friend and if you ever need anything you know where to find me, and if you choose to be stupid and not want to be my friend then whatever, I'm still going to chill with joey and jon and it's really too bad if you dont like it but I've realized that they really are good friends to me and I appreciate that.
I think you need to straighten things out with david because I believe it's what you want and there's really nothing you can say that'll change my mind so dont bother, it's just too obvious.
Sometimes I wish I knew why I wasn't good enough for you, but then I think about it and I realize that it's not me that's the problem. I dont need someone who can't be there for me. I'm sorry but I'm done with mixed signals and I'm done with bullshit <3's If you didn't want to be with me by now you wouldnt ever so I've moved on and so should you. After you read this you need to either write me back or call me because I'm not going to sit around and wonder what you're thinking. I'll probably see you wednesday and if not and you dont want to see me I won't be too surprised but I'm sorry if you can't handle truth. You haven't been true to me from the beginning and that hurts a little, but I'm used to it so it stops bothering me after a while. As much as I wish I could kiss you again, that last one at jon's didn't feel like anything was left to us and I was really sad that I realized it, but I can't believe you anymore. It hurts to send this and I probably won't sleep very well tonight, but you need to know all of this. I just hope that this is enough for you to actually try and be with the one you want to be with. I'll talk with you later...
yeah nothing like a knife through the heart.... now ima lose tom because i love david so fucking much and i know its a waste of my time but you cant change how u feel..... i wish he never stopped trying
Alright well there's a few things you need to hear, and a few more things you need to know. I'm going to be straight with you and I honestly couldnt care less what your opinion is because I'm not doing this for you... it's for me. First and foremost, you and I are friends from now on and that's that. That probably doesnt bother you and I don't expect it to. Also, you need to stop with the 'you cant talk to other girls without pissin me off' attitude because I'm sick of it. Your words stopped meaning anything to me when all you can do is talk and not show any actions. You know whether you love someone or not and if thats the case you be with them and not play them like a fucking toy because thats exactly what happened here, and I'm sorry that I didnt believe it earlier on when i should have, but this is a good example of the entire fucking reason I agreed never to put girls b4 friendship...because friendships last. I've tried and tried to make us work and i've passed up a lot of great girls because of how strongly i felt for YOU, but I guess it's too bad that you didn't want to be with me but looking at it now i was just going to get hurt anyway. Maybe not now but eventually you'd find someone that you thought was better and then I'd get fucked over.Sadly I'm not a superficial person and how you look means nothing to me. Ashley you're really a great person to hang out with, you're funny and I like your personality but we are supposed to be friends nothing more. I'm always gonna be there for you as a friend and if you ever need anything you know where to find me, and if you choose to be stupid and not want to be my friend then whatever, I'm still going to chill with joey and jon and it's really too bad if you dont like it but I've realized that they really are good friends to me and I appreciate that.
I think you need to straighten things out with david because I believe it's what you want and there's really nothing you can say that'll change my mind so dont bother, it's just too obvious.
Sometimes I wish I knew why I wasn't good enough for you, but then I think about it and I realize that it's not me that's the problem. I dont need someone who can't be there for me. I'm sorry but I'm done with mixed signals and I'm done with bullshit <3's If you didn't want to be with me by now you wouldnt ever so I've moved on and so should you. After you read this you need to either write me back or call me because I'm not going to sit around and wonder what you're thinking. I'll probably see you wednesday and if not and you dont want to see me I won't be too surprised but I'm sorry if you can't handle truth. You haven't been true to me from the beginning and that hurts a little, but I'm used to it so it stops bothering me after a while. As much as I wish I could kiss you again, that last one at jon's didn't feel like anything was left to us and I was really sad that I realized it, but I can't believe you anymore. It hurts to send this and I probably won't sleep very well tonight, but you need to know all of this. I just hope that this is enough for you to actually try and be with the one you want to be with. I'll talk with you later...
yeah nothing like a knife through the heart.... now ima lose tom because i love david so fucking much and i know its a waste of my time but you cant change how u feel..... i wish he never stopped trying