Back At Michi-Lu-Ca
I spent two days camping in Tent & Trailer at Michi-Lu-Ca with Laura and Maggie earlier this week. I shudder to even write this, but five summers have come and gone since my feet last hit that sandy soil. This time was bitter-sweet, but not at all in the way that I expected. Mainly, the "sweetness" came from realizing that the ministry done in that place has only grown in vitality and missional drive.
And the fact that all this had happened without my help, fueled the very slight twinge of bitterness, which came from concluding for certain and for good what I had always known, even when I worked there and poured my heart and soul into it: that it never really was about me to begin with.
If you haven't been up there in a while, or if you have and want to compare notes, here are my observations:
What I Expected: I kind of expected--or rather, worried--that the amount of development that had been going on in the facilities, between the new Canteen and renovated Nurse's cabin, the renovated Tri-level, new platform tents in Maple Ridge, new nature trails, new signage all over the place, etc, etc, etc,...would give the whole place kind of a slick, uber-professional feel, and it would be a little less "homey."
What I experienced: That was bullshit, pure and simple. What I noticed after having been away for a long time, was that many of the things people who have loved that place for decades experienced as "homey," others unfortunately experienced as a little run-down. While we may have experienced it as an exciting adventure to get to know the "lay of the land" with no maps, find secret places and try to keep them secret, slowly introducing campers over the years to the little wonders, from the perspective of visitors, this may have seemed like way too much work, and not only that, but a somewhat elitist system. When you come among God's people in the midst of God's creation, you shouldn't feel as though you're pledging a fraternity or sorority, as rewarding as it may feel to be in the "in" group once you're "in."
I LOVE that in 2010, any person of sound mind and body who walks onto camp for the first time, can experience all the wonders God has in store on the nature trails, and see some of the beautiful nooks and crannies that in my seven years of coming there, even I had somehow missed. I LOVE that God's Word is loudly proclaimed through a well-thought-out system of welcoming, rather than hid from the naked eye by a careful system of guarding.
What I Expected: OK, here's where I'm going to sound like a total jerk, because here's where it becomes "about me". I half expected it to feel like a foreign country going back, with absolutely no vestige of the fact that I had ever been there. I expected all the songs and activities to be totally different, I expected the ethos of the staff to be different, I must admit that I expected the staff to be way less talented and funny and cool than the people I worked with, and I expected them to greet me like some weird Hippie dinosaur of days gone by, an antique brought down from the attic for a time.
What I experienced: Of course, all that was also bullshit. NOT ONLY were we welcomed and encouraged to take part in any camp activities like waterfront, chapel, etc...but Dan invited me to play guitar with them! :-) On top of that, each morning someone drove up to personally INVITE us to chapel, and let us know what was going on for the day. We were taking a look around the Tri-Level, and stumbled upon the staff hanging out during a much-needed one-hour break...and they invited us to sit down and hang out with them! And they are a wonderfully smart, talented, funny group of people, but in a totally different way than we were. A lot of the songs are the same, but a few are different. And for a staff in their second week of work, they were pretty damn good at leading them. And I must admit, my one prideful moment was on Sunday Evening, when the first rule of chapel was STILL that you can not, in fact, get down, if you sit down. The Holy Spirit has continued to raise up wonderful leaders, to give flesh to God's word. The programs are still personality-driven, but the personalities have even more to work with than I did, and the spiritual formation, for campers and staff alike, goes on.
What I Expected: You know, there is a part in each one of us who has exercised some kind of leadership--whether it's in a club, a committee, a Church, whatever--that has very selfish fantasies. You expect to come back, and see that things have changed for the worse. You expect the people who knew you to say, "Oh, man, things were so much better when you were here! This place has just gone to hell without you!"
I realize that this is a terrible impulse, and that no one who ever really loved a person, place, or thing, really deep-down wishes for the object of their love to fall apart without them. As much of a stroke to the ego as it can be when someone looks back and values your unique contribution, if you love someone or someone, you want them to grow. For instance, I love that Maggie, at this time in her life, is so dependent on Laura and me, because it helps remind us that we are dependable. At the same time, because I love her, I look forward to the day when she can wipe her own behind.
What I Experienced: So, knowing that I can't--and shouldn't want to--be a savior for anybody, I am so thrilled to know, deep in my bones, that Michi-Lu-Ca is the place I remember, and maybe it is that way for different reasons than I remember. Not just because Jesse Moya, and Sarah Bay, and Josh Best, and and Angie Larson Rimbo, and Justin Rimbo, and Eric Engblade, and Adam Harrison, and Adam and Jason Harney, and Kevin Veeder, and Mark Sutherland, and Eryn Molitor, and Steph McKinney, and the Jahns, and the Werners, and Laura Ketchum, and so many other wonderful people work there: But because God is at work there, building on each generation of kids and young adults coming through. Rather than being the place where I was a "savior," it was the place where, in many ways, I met him. And he's still working a thousand ways of crazy praise in that place. To quote J.S. Bach, "Soli Deo Gloria."
We've got to get back there more often.
End Transmission.
And the fact that all this had happened without my help, fueled the very slight twinge of bitterness, which came from concluding for certain and for good what I had always known, even when I worked there and poured my heart and soul into it: that it never really was about me to begin with.
If you haven't been up there in a while, or if you have and want to compare notes, here are my observations:
What I Expected: I kind of expected--or rather, worried--that the amount of development that had been going on in the facilities, between the new Canteen and renovated Nurse's cabin, the renovated Tri-level, new platform tents in Maple Ridge, new nature trails, new signage all over the place, etc, etc, etc,...would give the whole place kind of a slick, uber-professional feel, and it would be a little less "homey."
What I experienced: That was bullshit, pure and simple. What I noticed after having been away for a long time, was that many of the things people who have loved that place for decades experienced as "homey," others unfortunately experienced as a little run-down. While we may have experienced it as an exciting adventure to get to know the "lay of the land" with no maps, find secret places and try to keep them secret, slowly introducing campers over the years to the little wonders, from the perspective of visitors, this may have seemed like way too much work, and not only that, but a somewhat elitist system. When you come among God's people in the midst of God's creation, you shouldn't feel as though you're pledging a fraternity or sorority, as rewarding as it may feel to be in the "in" group once you're "in."
I LOVE that in 2010, any person of sound mind and body who walks onto camp for the first time, can experience all the wonders God has in store on the nature trails, and see some of the beautiful nooks and crannies that in my seven years of coming there, even I had somehow missed. I LOVE that God's Word is loudly proclaimed through a well-thought-out system of welcoming, rather than hid from the naked eye by a careful system of guarding.
What I Expected: OK, here's where I'm going to sound like a total jerk, because here's where it becomes "about me". I half expected it to feel like a foreign country going back, with absolutely no vestige of the fact that I had ever been there. I expected all the songs and activities to be totally different, I expected the ethos of the staff to be different, I must admit that I expected the staff to be way less talented and funny and cool than the people I worked with, and I expected them to greet me like some weird Hippie dinosaur of days gone by, an antique brought down from the attic for a time.
What I experienced: Of course, all that was also bullshit. NOT ONLY were we welcomed and encouraged to take part in any camp activities like waterfront, chapel, etc...but Dan invited me to play guitar with them! :-) On top of that, each morning someone drove up to personally INVITE us to chapel, and let us know what was going on for the day. We were taking a look around the Tri-Level, and stumbled upon the staff hanging out during a much-needed one-hour break...and they invited us to sit down and hang out with them! And they are a wonderfully smart, talented, funny group of people, but in a totally different way than we were. A lot of the songs are the same, but a few are different. And for a staff in their second week of work, they were pretty damn good at leading them. And I must admit, my one prideful moment was on Sunday Evening, when the first rule of chapel was STILL that you can not, in fact, get down, if you sit down. The Holy Spirit has continued to raise up wonderful leaders, to give flesh to God's word. The programs are still personality-driven, but the personalities have even more to work with than I did, and the spiritual formation, for campers and staff alike, goes on.
What I Expected: You know, there is a part in each one of us who has exercised some kind of leadership--whether it's in a club, a committee, a Church, whatever--that has very selfish fantasies. You expect to come back, and see that things have changed for the worse. You expect the people who knew you to say, "Oh, man, things were so much better when you were here! This place has just gone to hell without you!"
I realize that this is a terrible impulse, and that no one who ever really loved a person, place, or thing, really deep-down wishes for the object of their love to fall apart without them. As much of a stroke to the ego as it can be when someone looks back and values your unique contribution, if you love someone or someone, you want them to grow. For instance, I love that Maggie, at this time in her life, is so dependent on Laura and me, because it helps remind us that we are dependable. At the same time, because I love her, I look forward to the day when she can wipe her own behind.
What I Experienced: So, knowing that I can't--and shouldn't want to--be a savior for anybody, I am so thrilled to know, deep in my bones, that Michi-Lu-Ca is the place I remember, and maybe it is that way for different reasons than I remember. Not just because Jesse Moya, and Sarah Bay, and Josh Best, and and Angie Larson Rimbo, and Justin Rimbo, and Eric Engblade, and Adam Harrison, and Adam and Jason Harney, and Kevin Veeder, and Mark Sutherland, and Eryn Molitor, and Steph McKinney, and the Jahns, and the Werners, and Laura Ketchum, and so many other wonderful people work there: But because God is at work there, building on each generation of kids and young adults coming through. Rather than being the place where I was a "savior," it was the place where, in many ways, I met him. And he's still working a thousand ways of crazy praise in that place. To quote J.S. Bach, "Soli Deo Gloria."
We've got to get back there more often.
End Transmission.