(no subject)
I was given a book called 'beyond the blues' to read the other day, and among many other facts and answers to questions regarding post partum depression I discovered a few things.
1 in 5 women will have some form of post partum depression worse than just the baby blues (this doesn't mean every 5th woman has an extreme case, but that some do)
It takes 5 hours of uninterupted sleep for your brain chemistry to reset.
Those were the two things that set with me the most.
One in Five! I have five pregnant friends right now, Neva, Tazz, Kristian, Rebekah and my sister Sirena, most likely one of them will struggle with some form of depression once their baby has arrived! I mean this is not strickly set that one of those five will have it, it is highly likely that none of them will experience it and for their sake i surely hope that they don't! In fact I'm praying hard that all of them have not even the smallest hint of baby blues let alone depression. But facts are facts and it is hard to imagine that all of these women are at risk.
Many women are going through this life changing and very challenging time right now! And probably 1/2 (this is not a fact) of them don't even know that they are!
See so much of your life changes when you have a baby, whether it is your first, second, or fifteenth child your life is bound to change because this little person is a person, you can not turn a dial on their ear to make them be quiet like on "Robots". You can't push the reset button if there is a glitch in the system... you just have to muddle through it, and that isn't the hard part, because muddling through for someone so helpless and beautiful is pretty easy, even when you are not entirely attached to the beautiful baby that was put into your arms after it's birth.
The hard part in my oppinion is that second fact... 5 hours of sleep is REQUIRED in order to set your brain right again. That is 5 hours of UNINTERUPTED sleep! NO ONE with a new baby gets that! I have a 4 month old and I'm not getting it, I know of lots of women with children nearing their 1st or 2nd birthday that are still not getting that!
Post partum depression is about 90% hormonal. WHOA... take a woman who has just given birth (ie has hormones totally out of control) add to that that she will most likely not get 5 hours of sleep in any given night for the next 6 months or more, and you've got one major train wreck. That is just a normal mom without PPD's scenario. Imagine how a woman whose brain chemistry is having a hard time regulating in the first place going through the same scenario, even if she has the BEST BABY IN THE WORLD she is bound to have issues.
The issues include but are not limited to anxiety (an unexplained fear that something horrible will happen, mixed with visual images that are uncontrolable), panic (she may have a reason to panic and she may not), fear, restlessness, exhaustion, numbness, weepiness, and a multitude of other things.
If she is a stay at home mom she might have other kids who play into this as well, she could have a sensitivity to overstimulation. She may totally lose her temper several times a day at a child or even the infant for no real reason. She may cry and not really know why, she may have a hard time admitting she needs help, or do just the opposite and feel she can't manage anything alone, or she may fluxuate between the two, leaving people wondering if they should or should not offer assistance.
No matter what is happening, whether her baby latches great, sleeps well, and cries rarely, or does the complete opposite, this woman and really ALL women with a new baby need compassion. Some may need advice, some may need someone to give them direction and take charge of situations, some may need everyone to back off and leave them alone but be availible when she is ready to ask for the help... whatever it is that a PPD sufferer needs it is important to ask her, do not assume she is like you, and do not diagnose her, just ask 'what can I do?" Hopefully she will have a good answer but if she doesn't take cues from her body language. If she looks at her kitchen with a look of disgust and then walks away, maybe you could do a load of dishes. If she covers her ears when the children are screaming or even just playing, try to direct the children in play that is quiet.
I do not know why I'm writing this, I just know that PPD seemed to me like a mythical thing, something that a woman should be able to control with happy thoughts and forcing herself to just 'do what needs doing'... but the truth is, I'm a PPD sufferer, this is hard to admit because I don't know exactly who is reading my blog. And there are some people that I would rather hide this from. So here is my advice to anyone reading this, if you are a Sugarmama, a stranger, or a friend who has not seen me in the last year, please feel free to respond, but if you are family, or live in my area please feel assured that I am seeking counsel, and taking good care of myself and my family and will let you know if and when I need you. I don't say this to be rude, but to protect myself from the reactions of certain people who I know have my best interests at heart.
1 in 5 women will have some form of post partum depression worse than just the baby blues (this doesn't mean every 5th woman has an extreme case, but that some do)
It takes 5 hours of uninterupted sleep for your brain chemistry to reset.
Those were the two things that set with me the most.
One in Five! I have five pregnant friends right now, Neva, Tazz, Kristian, Rebekah and my sister Sirena, most likely one of them will struggle with some form of depression once their baby has arrived! I mean this is not strickly set that one of those five will have it, it is highly likely that none of them will experience it and for their sake i surely hope that they don't! In fact I'm praying hard that all of them have not even the smallest hint of baby blues let alone depression. But facts are facts and it is hard to imagine that all of these women are at risk.
Many women are going through this life changing and very challenging time right now! And probably 1/2 (this is not a fact) of them don't even know that they are!
See so much of your life changes when you have a baby, whether it is your first, second, or fifteenth child your life is bound to change because this little person is a person, you can not turn a dial on their ear to make them be quiet like on "Robots". You can't push the reset button if there is a glitch in the system... you just have to muddle through it, and that isn't the hard part, because muddling through for someone so helpless and beautiful is pretty easy, even when you are not entirely attached to the beautiful baby that was put into your arms after it's birth.
The hard part in my oppinion is that second fact... 5 hours of sleep is REQUIRED in order to set your brain right again. That is 5 hours of UNINTERUPTED sleep! NO ONE with a new baby gets that! I have a 4 month old and I'm not getting it, I know of lots of women with children nearing their 1st or 2nd birthday that are still not getting that!
Post partum depression is about 90% hormonal. WHOA... take a woman who has just given birth (ie has hormones totally out of control) add to that that she will most likely not get 5 hours of sleep in any given night for the next 6 months or more, and you've got one major train wreck. That is just a normal mom without PPD's scenario. Imagine how a woman whose brain chemistry is having a hard time regulating in the first place going through the same scenario, even if she has the BEST BABY IN THE WORLD she is bound to have issues.
The issues include but are not limited to anxiety (an unexplained fear that something horrible will happen, mixed with visual images that are uncontrolable), panic (she may have a reason to panic and she may not), fear, restlessness, exhaustion, numbness, weepiness, and a multitude of other things.
If she is a stay at home mom she might have other kids who play into this as well, she could have a sensitivity to overstimulation. She may totally lose her temper several times a day at a child or even the infant for no real reason. She may cry and not really know why, she may have a hard time admitting she needs help, or do just the opposite and feel she can't manage anything alone, or she may fluxuate between the two, leaving people wondering if they should or should not offer assistance.
No matter what is happening, whether her baby latches great, sleeps well, and cries rarely, or does the complete opposite, this woman and really ALL women with a new baby need compassion. Some may need advice, some may need someone to give them direction and take charge of situations, some may need everyone to back off and leave them alone but be availible when she is ready to ask for the help... whatever it is that a PPD sufferer needs it is important to ask her, do not assume she is like you, and do not diagnose her, just ask 'what can I do?" Hopefully she will have a good answer but if she doesn't take cues from her body language. If she looks at her kitchen with a look of disgust and then walks away, maybe you could do a load of dishes. If she covers her ears when the children are screaming or even just playing, try to direct the children in play that is quiet.
I do not know why I'm writing this, I just know that PPD seemed to me like a mythical thing, something that a woman should be able to control with happy thoughts and forcing herself to just 'do what needs doing'... but the truth is, I'm a PPD sufferer, this is hard to admit because I don't know exactly who is reading my blog. And there are some people that I would rather hide this from. So here is my advice to anyone reading this, if you are a Sugarmama, a stranger, or a friend who has not seen me in the last year, please feel free to respond, but if you are family, or live in my area please feel assured that I am seeking counsel, and taking good care of myself and my family and will let you know if and when I need you. I don't say this to be rude, but to protect myself from the reactions of certain people who I know have my best interests at heart.