[Slow Suicide]

Feb 07, 2006 23:20

You know, part of me is scared to write something like this ( Read more... )

school, music, pain, depression, work, shrink, jesse

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doubleloveshock February 8 2006, 18:26:12 UTC
thank you baby. so very much.

i dunno what will help
and i'm not asking you to put me first
i understand you need to put you first

i'm just feeling like you are as i just wanna rip something to shreds...in this case, it seems to be me

it's not that dr. thompson isn't helping
i mean, you know how impatient i am
and with something taht hurts, and has been hurting for over half my life, i don't wanna wait any longer

no doctor can fix it quickly, and thats part of what gets me down
i want a magic wand, a genie lamp
something like that. just make it all go away

but the shit takes time,
i just dunno if i can wait another however long to fix things before i do something stupid

sometimes i feel in pain for no reason
physical and emotional

you can't sleep, that seems to be your big problem/side-effect
i get these terrible headaches
so bad i can't think straight, and it's hard enough as is

my mind just melts and i start spacing like whoa
i dunno
i know you're trying to help
and i really appreciate it

it's not the therapist's fault
it's not your fault
it's my fault
it's me that's screwed up

and maybe i do wanna go away...but i dunno...not away frmo you, or from here. as you said, leaving won't change much, if anything

i just mean, get help 24/7. you know what i mean

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