Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Conversation with a drunk gay man and a drunk American Jewish girl in a gay bar (both who shall remain nameless and hereby be referred to as DGM and DAJG):
DAJG: DGM and my families are very similar. For instance, his family gets mad if you say the word "eat". If you say "eat" they say "We don't 'eat'! Animals eat! We dine. And that's like my family, we're particular too, and I love that. I motherfucking love that! I'm never going to fucking eat again. I'm going to fucking dine. I will never eat again. Sandwiches? I don't eat sandwiches! I motherfucking dine on them.
DGM: But it's so stressful! And your family is so...I don't know. I don't know how you do it
DAJG: Yeah, and my brother still lives in Detroit. He has to see them all the time. Oh. My. Gawd.
DGM: But how do you do it? I mean I don't know how I do it
DAJG: How do we do it? It's obvious! We're fucking alcoholics! That's how we do it!
Kevin and Jennifer: (laugh awkwardly)
DAJG: Thank God alcoholism is hereditary. Can you imagine trying to pick it up? Like, Oh my God! Actually trying to take up alcoholism! That would be so difficult! And stressful! Thank God I come by it naturally.
( And with that declaration DAJG falls down and passes out)
DAJG: DGM and my families are very similar. For instance, his family gets mad if you say the word "eat". If you say "eat" they say "We don't 'eat'! Animals eat! We dine. And that's like my family, we're particular too, and I love that. I motherfucking love that! I'm never going to fucking eat again. I'm going to fucking dine. I will never eat again. Sandwiches? I don't eat sandwiches! I motherfucking dine on them.
DGM: But it's so stressful! And your family is so...I don't know. I don't know how you do it
DAJG: Yeah, and my brother still lives in Detroit. He has to see them all the time. Oh. My. Gawd.
DGM: But how do you do it? I mean I don't know how I do it
DAJG: How do we do it? It's obvious! We're fucking alcoholics! That's how we do it!
Kevin and Jennifer: (laugh awkwardly)
DAJG: Thank God alcoholism is hereditary. Can you imagine trying to pick it up? Like, Oh my God! Actually trying to take up alcoholism! That would be so difficult! And stressful! Thank God I come by it naturally.
( And with that declaration DAJG falls down and passes out)