LET IT ALL GO
hello journal, its been a long time. ive been busy. ive had lots on my mind. first off, im in LA now; moved, settled into my new home. and i must say it does feel like home (ty Paul, i love u so much). i do miss my family, my nephews. i will see them soon hopefully. i spoke with my sister today, same old bs. she did most the talking tho; venting of her problems. i cannot solve them; only advise. but who listens to me neways. now my stresses. the same ones that have haunted me all my life. my never ending search for purpose. WORK, SCHOOL. when it cums to these issues i get sooo confused, frustrated, and lost. it takes a large toll on me mentally. and i wrap myself up into a ball of confusion and hide from the world. not the best thing to do. for my mind is my worst enemy and slowly eats away at my sanity; my mind kills me. so tonite i had had enuff. i couldnt wrestle with my thoughts any longer. my mind was soo polluted with negative energy i hadta dispell it. so, i meditated. what a relief it brought. my gums tingled at the end of it. i know that is releasing stress. i have felt that many times b 4. i just hafta LET IT ALL GO. in my meditation, i let go my stresses of work. i let go my stresses of school. i let go my stoopid jealousy issues and sent luv to those i feel that towards. i let Paul go. i let myself go. i hadta let go my negative self-image. i let go of the of the wurld. i let go of my bills. i let go of the negative energy in my mind that was multiplying into destructive forces. and in that space, i placed positivity and light, and luv if u will. it is a tremendous relief to let go of those emotional poisons. i feeel lifted. so afterwards, i masturbated, in front of the mirror, with toys, and sliquid, and squirted. it was a strong orgasm and much needed! tomorrow, i have much to accomplish, many errands to tend too. i will prevail, and i will succeed!