Twitter Updates That Didn't Make the Cut
Today I deleted a bunch of saved text messages off of my phone. Most of them had been written as Twitter updates, but for whatever reason I had decided not to send them. However, in retrospect most of them were pretty clever, so I thought I'd record them for posterity. Enjoy. Most of these were written over the summer, although my phone didn't record the dates (my phone is mad old, I want to get a super fancy one when I finally upgrade in May).
Also, I'm going to expand some of these beyond the 140 characters limit, for readability and clarity. Don't get your character counters in a twist.
- Didn't get onto a jury, but got close. Now am sitting at home with a popsicles, the Golden Girls, & the cuddly cat. Bliss.
This one was from the end of May, I guess, during the week when I got called for jury duty. I think I might have actually posted it, because, come on, that's awesome.
- I just realized that I don't really care about dinosaurs. It really doesn't matter to me if it's a nano t.rex or a juvenile one, it's still been dead for a million years.
This is true. Dinos may be cool, but they are definitely not important to me. This might come as a shock to some, as I am pretty pro-dino, but I don't really see how finding out new stuff about dinos really changes the lives of anyone alive right now. This came about after we watched some sort of documentary (maybe a Nova) on some controversial fossil finding. People were getting really worked up about whether it was a new species or not, we can't be sure because it's the only one that's been found, we don't have anything to which we might compare it, blah blah blah. It was a big deal for all these academics, because this is THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Yeesh.
- The DMV is next to Mt. View Meat & Sausage, and Hosanna Glass, Coal & Sealing, which shares the lot with the Hebron Religious Center.
This was written after I had to go out to Parkland to try and get an enhanced driver's license at the DMV (technically in Washington it's a DOL - Department of Licensing) (I didn't get the enhanced one, but the picture that I have now and the story behind that are pretty funny too). I often forget how rural and conservative, and religious, parts of Washington, even the parts near me, really are, and I think this was a reaction to that. On this trip I also saw an SUV with a Palin '12 bumper sticker (I'm still not convinced it was a joke), and a apartment complex that was offering a free month's membership to Costco to new tenants. What?
- Anarcho-reality TV shows: Whose House Our House, You Fix It You Keep It, Where Does Your Garden Grow.
When I was still trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my concentration (media, social justice, TV), I had an idea about an anarchist themed television station called ATV (Anarchy TV). I wanted all the shows to be radical how-to shows and talk shows, like the Today Show and This Old House for anarchists or whoever. This is still a pretty funny idea, actually. I don't think I meant it seriously then, either, but I thought it was funny to come up with different show ideas. I think Whose House Our House was about renovating abandoned buildings and squatting in them, Where Does Your Garden Grow was about guerilla gardening, and You Fix It You Keep It was maybe about dumpstering stuff and then fixing it or using it to make other stuff? Either way, pretty funny.
- Don't Stop Believin' on the radio, singing along with Mom as Dad drives. I won't, Journey, or at least I'll try not to.
- Now it's Blink 182. I love my life.
I think these were written after the Etta Project charity auction. The Etta Project is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization run by a family friend, and they have a charity auction we attend every year. This year, they were selling shot glasses with complementary tequila shots, and Mom bought me two! Also there was wine. This is probably why I didn't send these at the time, although I think I've become a little bit more lax about drunk Twittering since then...I should have sent these anyway, Don't Stop Believin' and Blink 182 rule. What radio station were we listening to??
- Dusk drags on so beautifully here.
It does. In Washington during the summer, the sun doesn't begin to set until 7:30 ish, and it's often still light out until 9 or 10. I think I didn't send this one because all I talked about over the summer was how long the sun took to set, probably because I loved it. Also, can we take a minute to talk about how Stephenie Meyer ruined the word twilight? It's one of my favorite times of day, and it'll be years until I can use it again.
- Mom says Sedro-Woolley would be a good name for a band, along the line of Sleater-Kinney. I am inclined to agree.
I think this was from the drive from Tacoma to Vancouver we made in the second week of July. It was me, Mom and Dad, Sam and Gabe, and my cousins Pilar and Gema. We spent a week at Whistler at Dad's friend's house, but first we had to drive the seven or eight hours to get there. One of the little towns we passed through was Sedro-Woolley. We pass Sleater-Kinney Road every time we drive to Portland, which is probably why she thought of it. Also, my mom is basically the exact opposite of a punk, but can we talk about how cool it is that she knows about Sleater-Kinney? Lady is a badass.
- Mt. Vernon is more than I remember, more picturesque & romantic & more.
Another tiny town on the way to Canada. I spent some time there in ninth grade, and didn't remember it being so big (i.e., big enough for a school). Also, everything is beautiful in Washington during the summer, especially the area between Seattle and Canada; it is green, lush, often forested and quiet. It's like the Secret Garden, but a whole state!
- Drinking Brooklyn lager outside of Vancouver with my Spanish cousin. Globalization ftw?
Our first meal in Canada, where I could drink legally!! The whole time we were there, people kept being like, you're nineteen, right? And I could say, yes! Yes I am. Also, I was/am conflicted about globalization. Why? Because it's complicated, like everything else ever. Yet, sometimes, it leads to cool moments that connect various parts of my life and identity, like the one above.
- A registered Big Toy in Skykomish, all wooden & weathered & awesome. A wooded mountain range, an empty sky. I am a bird, frozen in flight, my arms black against the light.
I love purple prose and ampersands. This was written on the last day of the Courage Classic, a charity bike ride that raises money for my mom's clinic. It's three mountain passes in three days. We volunteer every year. We sign people in at the end of the day's ride, and are often set up at schools or on school grounds, which allows me to indulge my love of playgrounds without being creepy. Basically, I love Big Toys, and Washington is beautiful during the summer.
- On the train to Newark Int'l Airport, and the person across the aisle from me is def finishing her tallboy of Corona. Also, Uggs and an Ed Hardy purse. You stay classy, Newark.
The alternate ending to that one was "Oh, Jersey girls!" This was written on the way to the airport when I went home for early Thanksgiving. Also, it was like 6 in the morning. This actually is the beginning of a kind of funny/ridiculous story, which I'll probably tell you if you ask me in real life.
- I should just accept the fact that I will never, never, not ever get work done in my apartment. Not ever.
This was written... at the end of last semester? And it's still pretty much true.
My god I'm hilarious.
Also, I'm going to expand some of these beyond the 140 characters limit, for readability and clarity. Don't get your character counters in a twist.
- Didn't get onto a jury, but got close. Now am sitting at home with a popsicles, the Golden Girls, & the cuddly cat. Bliss.
This one was from the end of May, I guess, during the week when I got called for jury duty. I think I might have actually posted it, because, come on, that's awesome.
- I just realized that I don't really care about dinosaurs. It really doesn't matter to me if it's a nano t.rex or a juvenile one, it's still been dead for a million years.
This is true. Dinos may be cool, but they are definitely not important to me. This might come as a shock to some, as I am pretty pro-dino, but I don't really see how finding out new stuff about dinos really changes the lives of anyone alive right now. This came about after we watched some sort of documentary (maybe a Nova) on some controversial fossil finding. People were getting really worked up about whether it was a new species or not, we can't be sure because it's the only one that's been found, we don't have anything to which we might compare it, blah blah blah. It was a big deal for all these academics, because this is THEIR WHOLE LIVES. Yeesh.
- The DMV is next to Mt. View Meat & Sausage, and Hosanna Glass, Coal & Sealing, which shares the lot with the Hebron Religious Center.
This was written after I had to go out to Parkland to try and get an enhanced driver's license at the DMV (technically in Washington it's a DOL - Department of Licensing) (I didn't get the enhanced one, but the picture that I have now and the story behind that are pretty funny too). I often forget how rural and conservative, and religious, parts of Washington, even the parts near me, really are, and I think this was a reaction to that. On this trip I also saw an SUV with a Palin '12 bumper sticker (I'm still not convinced it was a joke), and a apartment complex that was offering a free month's membership to Costco to new tenants. What?
- Anarcho-reality TV shows: Whose House Our House, You Fix It You Keep It, Where Does Your Garden Grow.
When I was still trying to figure out exactly what I wanted to do with my concentration (media, social justice, TV), I had an idea about an anarchist themed television station called ATV (Anarchy TV). I wanted all the shows to be radical how-to shows and talk shows, like the Today Show and This Old House for anarchists or whoever. This is still a pretty funny idea, actually. I don't think I meant it seriously then, either, but I thought it was funny to come up with different show ideas. I think Whose House Our House was about renovating abandoned buildings and squatting in them, Where Does Your Garden Grow was about guerilla gardening, and You Fix It You Keep It was maybe about dumpstering stuff and then fixing it or using it to make other stuff? Either way, pretty funny.
- Don't Stop Believin' on the radio, singing along with Mom as Dad drives. I won't, Journey, or at least I'll try not to.
- Now it's Blink 182. I love my life.
I think these were written after the Etta Project charity auction. The Etta Project is a 501(c)(3) not-for-profit organization run by a family friend, and they have a charity auction we attend every year. This year, they were selling shot glasses with complementary tequila shots, and Mom bought me two! Also there was wine. This is probably why I didn't send these at the time, although I think I've become a little bit more lax about drunk Twittering since then...I should have sent these anyway, Don't Stop Believin' and Blink 182 rule. What radio station were we listening to??
- Dusk drags on so beautifully here.
It does. In Washington during the summer, the sun doesn't begin to set until 7:30 ish, and it's often still light out until 9 or 10. I think I didn't send this one because all I talked about over the summer was how long the sun took to set, probably because I loved it. Also, can we take a minute to talk about how Stephenie Meyer ruined the word twilight? It's one of my favorite times of day, and it'll be years until I can use it again.
- Mom says Sedro-Woolley would be a good name for a band, along the line of Sleater-Kinney. I am inclined to agree.
I think this was from the drive from Tacoma to Vancouver we made in the second week of July. It was me, Mom and Dad, Sam and Gabe, and my cousins Pilar and Gema. We spent a week at Whistler at Dad's friend's house, but first we had to drive the seven or eight hours to get there. One of the little towns we passed through was Sedro-Woolley. We pass Sleater-Kinney Road every time we drive to Portland, which is probably why she thought of it. Also, my mom is basically the exact opposite of a punk, but can we talk about how cool it is that she knows about Sleater-Kinney? Lady is a badass.
- Mt. Vernon is more than I remember, more picturesque & romantic & more.
Another tiny town on the way to Canada. I spent some time there in ninth grade, and didn't remember it being so big (i.e., big enough for a school). Also, everything is beautiful in Washington during the summer, especially the area between Seattle and Canada; it is green, lush, often forested and quiet. It's like the Secret Garden, but a whole state!
- Drinking Brooklyn lager outside of Vancouver with my Spanish cousin. Globalization ftw?
Our first meal in Canada, where I could drink legally!! The whole time we were there, people kept being like, you're nineteen, right? And I could say, yes! Yes I am. Also, I was/am conflicted about globalization. Why? Because it's complicated, like everything else ever. Yet, sometimes, it leads to cool moments that connect various parts of my life and identity, like the one above.
- A registered Big Toy in Skykomish, all wooden & weathered & awesome. A wooded mountain range, an empty sky. I am a bird, frozen in flight, my arms black against the light.
I love purple prose and ampersands. This was written on the last day of the Courage Classic, a charity bike ride that raises money for my mom's clinic. It's three mountain passes in three days. We volunteer every year. We sign people in at the end of the day's ride, and are often set up at schools or on school grounds, which allows me to indulge my love of playgrounds without being creepy. Basically, I love Big Toys, and Washington is beautiful during the summer.
- On the train to Newark Int'l Airport, and the person across the aisle from me is def finishing her tallboy of Corona. Also, Uggs and an Ed Hardy purse. You stay classy, Newark.
The alternate ending to that one was "Oh, Jersey girls!" This was written on the way to the airport when I went home for early Thanksgiving. Also, it was like 6 in the morning. This actually is the beginning of a kind of funny/ridiculous story, which I'll probably tell you if you ask me in real life.
- I should just accept the fact that I will never, never, not ever get work done in my apartment. Not ever.
This was written... at the end of last semester? And it's still pretty much true.
My god I'm hilarious.