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i've been crying almost all weekend. i found out on friday that my high school music teacher and mentor died from cancer. i keep thinking about him and high school and the orchestra. i keep thinking about what a fucking shitty asshole of a person i am for not keeping in touch. i was planning on going back to TMLA to visit this semester cause i
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Does it suck that you don't have time to play anymore? Yes, of course it does. (I don't know how you do it, playing music is one of the few things that keeps me sane.) But just because I play constantly like it's my job, and just because Alanna has actually gone and made a career out of playing/teaching music, doesn't mean that everyone is supposed to. I'm going to guess that the world probably has more musicians than it knows what to do with (see myspace for proof of this), and probably is more in need of qualified pharmacists.
I think if you were happy in orchestra, if you enjoyed it then, that would have been more than good enough for Mr. Mora. I sent him a Christmas card with a letter tucked into it last December, and he wrote back, and he said this about the years that we you and I were in orchestra: "Those were the Glory Days! ...and experienced not only the joy of music making, but the unspeakable pleasure and excitement of sharing it all -- as a family." Lord, I'm about to start blubbering all over again...before I get really worked up though, let me conclude by saying: I think if you're happy now, if you care about what you're doing, that would have made him really happy too. He really cared about us, but he also understood that we were all going our separate ways.
It's interesting: he asked about you. I told him that I hadn't spoken to you in years and he made this funny face at me, it was this total "70x7" face. (As in, the bible verse, not the song.) He was slightly disappointed about that, I think.
But he wasn't disappointed in you.
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