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I really don`t even know why I`m updating... but I`m bored. =/
Right now I feel like such a baby. After the soccer game I could not stop crying. Well I was holding it in, but then I snapped at my parents when they asked what was wrong, and when we went to the restaurant to get some drinks and my mom asked if I wanted to talk about it, tears just started falling and I went into the bathroom. And then when we were in the parking lot in the van and my Mom and Dad go "Seriously, just tell us what`s the matter" and I broke down..
and it`s because I feel like I don`t add to the team.. I feel like I don`t contribute at all. I feel like I suck, and I hate feeling like I`m the worst player on the team.
Soccer is the only thing i do. I don`t play basketball or volleyball, I`m not president of any club, I`m not really anything of importance in anything I do. And that`s a really sucky feeling. I have been playing soccer for about 4 years and I feel like I have barely improved. It feels like none of my practice has paid of and I hate that.
I walked off that soccer field feeling like I didn`t do anything, and I did try, I did. And then I`m a bitch to my parents. I am a bitch. The one thing I try SO hard not to be, and I am.
I guess he is right.
It`s like I can`t even help it.
My Mom put it that she honestly doesn`t think that Soccer is 'my sport', and that I should go out and try new activities. But I love playing soccer. I don`t, know it`s just all confusing. I wish I didn`t feel like this.
Talk to you all later..have a nice night.
Right now I feel like such a baby. After the soccer game I could not stop crying. Well I was holding it in, but then I snapped at my parents when they asked what was wrong, and when we went to the restaurant to get some drinks and my mom asked if I wanted to talk about it, tears just started falling and I went into the bathroom. And then when we were in the parking lot in the van and my Mom and Dad go "Seriously, just tell us what`s the matter" and I broke down..
and it`s because I feel like I don`t add to the team.. I feel like I don`t contribute at all. I feel like I suck, and I hate feeling like I`m the worst player on the team.
Soccer is the only thing i do. I don`t play basketball or volleyball, I`m not president of any club, I`m not really anything of importance in anything I do. And that`s a really sucky feeling. I have been playing soccer for about 4 years and I feel like I have barely improved. It feels like none of my practice has paid of and I hate that.
I walked off that soccer field feeling like I didn`t do anything, and I did try, I did. And then I`m a bitch to my parents. I am a bitch. The one thing I try SO hard not to be, and I am.
I guess he is right.
It`s like I can`t even help it.
My Mom put it that she honestly doesn`t think that Soccer is 'my sport', and that I should go out and try new activities. But I love playing soccer. I don`t, know it`s just all confusing. I wish I didn`t feel like this.
Talk to you all later..have a nice night.