put me out of my misery
why do i even bother?it seems like absolutly everything keeps getting worse and worse and i am so overwhelemed and sick of fucking pizza and i just want to get fucked up and forget everything. i work 6 days a week and i still cant even afford to live here. I love megan but this is makign it fucking impossable for me to get on my feet. its not practical and now im basically screwed and stuck here b/c if i move she has no where to go b/c she cant afford to pay rent on her own. My stupid fucking boss is a egotistical slef cenetered cheap bastard and i cant fucking stand him. he always seems to find some reason to try and point out what im doing wrong. if its using too much fucking cheese or not enough meat, i cant stand the fucking prick. everything i do is wrong and its really hard to keep smiling and just keep letting him correct me. and now megans mad at me b/c she thinks i was hitting on some other chick. its not even like that. i was complimenting the girl b/c she is really pretty. i suppose i wasnt right...but sometimes i do things b/c life would be so much easier if i could move home. i cant afford anything. i just want to die. im going to fucking jail at the end of the month. i have no phone and no way to get a hold of my stupid court appointed attory. not that hes going to keep me from going back to jail anyways. i dont even know how to get my ID b/c i still HAD my mass. Lic until i lost it on the way to or from walking to work yesterday and so now im screwed. i have no way to prove my address here and so my mails somehwat going to my moms and to Mass and i missed a fucking drop for porbation so much for going in front of the judge and saying im clean and been doing good and havent messed up since i had to finish work probation in jail. i just cna t dela with anything anymore. i dont have anyone to talk to. no way to call anyone and no one to vent to or do anything with. i give up...why the fuck should i bother. ever since i got out of jail this last time i have been trying and working and doing my all to keep myself out of jail and not smoke pot or cut myself and b/c i moved here and have no phone or car and work afternoons and so i cnat go to meetings...i just keep getting slapped in the face and knocked down and i pick myself up...and i cant get anywhere at this rate...i just want to die