ugh
werent spossed to see this...so for now on i am writing in my journal like im the only one whos reading it ever and im not even going to think about who seen it or whatever. if u read it just read it. dont ? anything u see...dont gimmie advice unless i ask for it...and dont comment to me saying its not that bad either...just let it be in cyber space out there for whomever to read but as if i have no idea anyone ever has read it!just a lesson i am getting ok with...i needed this lesson...but i take time. so in my face with it is no good for this girl...no no no.
i wish i had a girl to come lay in my bed and pet my head hold me.cuz im sick...and i dont want to be cold, and lonely =(
why does it bother me so much
why am i so fucking insecure about stupid things that are of no matter
why have i been like haivng panic attacks so muhc lately
why am i addicted to the computer
what is it that i really want
what is it that i am willing to do for myself
when will i stop hating me as much like you speak of it so freely
i dont even know.just to not have panic attacks and really not care if other people know what i think, hRmm mm huh, yep. thats what would be grand right this second!
i am just so private. and so so delicate...and so so sensitve...i dont like other people to be able to figure me out.i dont like her knowing. i dont like that i care. i shouldnt. i am ok. i will live. thats my line. what does it even matter...it doesnt.
MEGAN JO DODGE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i have nothing left for you at all in my life. i dont want to feel anything but maybe a little sorrow when i hear you spoken of. i am getting over you . i dont want to be friends with a plant stealing snowman hater. no more drama now either...so ewww.
we always want whats not best for us? hmm so i ben told thats why i cant just be like poof bye to my feelings of her.
i cut lastnight. it was delcious to me. sounds like i am some kinda morbid vampriss freak. but i am so not. i just like to make myself bleed. and i like to test myself. and i like to see the blood...so i dont cry anymore....so i dont ever have to cry anymore...i can just bleed...b/c bleeding is just better for me to me. =) i dont even care anymore. i will just let others think. and i wont as much. and so its a balance that will be all that much better when you fill my shoes and i am just absently exsisting. Cherrio bitches!
i wish i had a girl to come lay in my bed and pet my head hold me.cuz im sick...and i dont want to be cold, and lonely =(
why does it bother me so much
why am i so fucking insecure about stupid things that are of no matter
why have i been like haivng panic attacks so muhc lately
why am i addicted to the computer
what is it that i really want
what is it that i am willing to do for myself
when will i stop hating me as much like you speak of it so freely
i dont even know.just to not have panic attacks and really not care if other people know what i think, hRmm mm huh, yep. thats what would be grand right this second!
i am just so private. and so so delicate...and so so sensitve...i dont like other people to be able to figure me out.i dont like her knowing. i dont like that i care. i shouldnt. i am ok. i will live. thats my line. what does it even matter...it doesnt.
MEGAN JO DODGE>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>i have nothing left for you at all in my life. i dont want to feel anything but maybe a little sorrow when i hear you spoken of. i am getting over you . i dont want to be friends with a plant stealing snowman hater. no more drama now either...so ewww.
we always want whats not best for us? hmm so i ben told thats why i cant just be like poof bye to my feelings of her.
i cut lastnight. it was delcious to me. sounds like i am some kinda morbid vampriss freak. but i am so not. i just like to make myself bleed. and i like to test myself. and i like to see the blood...so i dont cry anymore....so i dont ever have to cry anymore...i can just bleed...b/c bleeding is just better for me to me. =) i dont even care anymore. i will just let others think. and i wont as much. and so its a balance that will be all that much better when you fill my shoes and i am just absently exsisting. Cherrio bitches!