dont u wish u were as fun as me don't ya lol
well i know my girl friend is as fun as me...and as much of a dork as me. and only a month older than me. and we get eachother...soul mates... is how we like to look at it.
random thoughts/questions for whoever feels like answering lol
do u like shrimp? mmmm yes
do u like tomotoes? yup
do u like mushrooms? yuppers
do u like cotton candy? yes
and dream of gummy bears? lol no...but i love that body spray...Licka licka ,jenny and maybe two other ppl that see this might know what i am talkin bout but i doubt it...i am so crazy its fun!
do u like popcorn? no
do u like nuts? of the irony... lol no i hate them...always have, how fitting now a day teehee
have u ever had a cheese and mustard sandwhich? yes i love em...u should try them people....its bet with lays chips smuched onto it though
and back to my baby lol...i cant wait to hold her. i wasnt even looking for a girlfriend...i was just carrying on with my life after terri...and it's just like we are meant for eachother. because it just happened we understand eachother...and i have never been like this over a girl. and just so noones confuesed her names heatehr and her nicknames jazzbian and so i may refer to her as both lol.
i dunno once i am persued i loose interest normally, yea i know its a guy thing lol...although i have the wrong parts to be a guy i swear i am just like one in certain ways....i mean once i know a girl is intrested in me i am like eh and just kinda blah b.c the chase is over...and with her that never happened.
we are just at the same level...ugh i going over this a 1000 times in my mind and i still dont know i just see no wrong in her or with us making this work.
i have nothing in michigan holding me back..so i can up and leave whenever i want. after she comes in septemeber who knows what will beome of this relationship. my hopes are she really does feel the way she claims to and everything stays exactly like this. i mean we both had intentions to move to nashviliie...me in sept of 06 just b.c i was actually being realiztic and practital so i gave myself time to dick around before i get my shit together like i was doing and now i need to stop and get my shit together so i can be with heather sooner. where that may be i don't know, i don't care...i would leave tomorrow if i could. and she intened on moving to TN. in the summer of 2006.
and i dont believe in coinsidence....i believe everything happens for a reason...and so does she, and theres just little signs that makes it impossable for me to blame on coinsidences...like our birthdays,our dorkyness and sence of humour, our love for pot, the fact that we both smoke marlobro menthol 100's, she;s the only other person i know that smokes them too...and so much shit that is in our past that we are a like about like we both had crazy older ex;'s that could have been our moms and abandonment issues...just to list a few things...teehee. so we know how to react to eachother and deal with our insainty and character defects...no ones perfect!
and i am not enjoying everyone's opinions like my mom and my friends and stuff...but i dont even let them rent redsidence in my mind. no one can knock me off my cloud. and nothing can change the reality of this. who gives a shit bout what everyone else thinks... i am mad head over heels for this girl...and why should i turn my back on it b/c of a few states? i am young...and flexable...and devoted and when i make up my mind i get my way lol...so i dunno i just am estatic and wickedly obsessed with getting my shit together for myself, so i can be the person that spoils her woman and can be a better person...not only b.c she deserves all that, but becasue i do too...and now i dunno it's just lovely...well i could ramble on and on and on...but i am never this mushy and gushy and cute and cheesy...well i havent been since i met the real terri lol...but thats long time ago and the terri that made me fall for her and want her back each time has been gone for a long long time and everytime i went back she turned right back into the real person i hated and i felt the same way i did when i left miserable,lonely, and unappeciated....but i know thats not going to happen with my jazzbian...she has a heart of gold, we have told eachother about our pasts and she still accepcts me and unconditionally gives me her whole heart and all...and we dont hold anything back...so its not fake...we are seeing the best and realness of eachother right away becasue we are so mad crazy over eathother neither of us want to hold back...and so there isnt none of that awkward not knowing how to act and shit....b/c for once i am being natural...
yes i realzie how fucking vounerable i am right now....but i dont give a shit. rip my heart out and stomp on it...(no just kidding baby dont, and i dont think u would)..i am just saying, and trying to make a point you only live once...why walk away from something u have no idea how the outcome will be?!and i have yet to die or not been able to recover from anything thats happened in my life thats tramitic like nora/kerstins deaths...not that anyone really knows how much those things affected me b.c i never told neone til now but they did, and it just part of life...
so i dont understand why people run from commitments...ohh b.c their past they been hurt too much. well the way i look at is it was all preperation for the real deal...so yea enough rambling and philiphsopy...yea i spelt it out the best i could,. lol u can figure it out for yourselfs...lol well i am outtie...peace, Sharebear
random thoughts/questions for whoever feels like answering lol
do u like shrimp? mmmm yes
do u like tomotoes? yup
do u like mushrooms? yuppers
do u like cotton candy? yes
and dream of gummy bears? lol no...but i love that body spray...Licka licka ,jenny and maybe two other ppl that see this might know what i am talkin bout but i doubt it...i am so crazy its fun!
do u like popcorn? no
do u like nuts? of the irony... lol no i hate them...always have, how fitting now a day teehee
have u ever had a cheese and mustard sandwhich? yes i love em...u should try them people....its bet with lays chips smuched onto it though
and back to my baby lol...i cant wait to hold her. i wasnt even looking for a girlfriend...i was just carrying on with my life after terri...and it's just like we are meant for eachother. because it just happened we understand eachother...and i have never been like this over a girl. and just so noones confuesed her names heatehr and her nicknames jazzbian and so i may refer to her as both lol.
i dunno once i am persued i loose interest normally, yea i know its a guy thing lol...although i have the wrong parts to be a guy i swear i am just like one in certain ways....i mean once i know a girl is intrested in me i am like eh and just kinda blah b.c the chase is over...and with her that never happened.
we are just at the same level...ugh i going over this a 1000 times in my mind and i still dont know i just see no wrong in her or with us making this work.
i have nothing in michigan holding me back..so i can up and leave whenever i want. after she comes in septemeber who knows what will beome of this relationship. my hopes are she really does feel the way she claims to and everything stays exactly like this. i mean we both had intentions to move to nashviliie...me in sept of 06 just b.c i was actually being realiztic and practital so i gave myself time to dick around before i get my shit together like i was doing and now i need to stop and get my shit together so i can be with heather sooner. where that may be i don't know, i don't care...i would leave tomorrow if i could. and she intened on moving to TN. in the summer of 2006.
and i dont believe in coinsidence....i believe everything happens for a reason...and so does she, and theres just little signs that makes it impossable for me to blame on coinsidences...like our birthdays,our dorkyness and sence of humour, our love for pot, the fact that we both smoke marlobro menthol 100's, she;s the only other person i know that smokes them too...and so much shit that is in our past that we are a like about like we both had crazy older ex;'s that could have been our moms and abandonment issues...just to list a few things...teehee. so we know how to react to eachother and deal with our insainty and character defects...no ones perfect!
and i am not enjoying everyone's opinions like my mom and my friends and stuff...but i dont even let them rent redsidence in my mind. no one can knock me off my cloud. and nothing can change the reality of this. who gives a shit bout what everyone else thinks... i am mad head over heels for this girl...and why should i turn my back on it b/c of a few states? i am young...and flexable...and devoted and when i make up my mind i get my way lol...so i dunno i just am estatic and wickedly obsessed with getting my shit together for myself, so i can be the person that spoils her woman and can be a better person...not only b.c she deserves all that, but becasue i do too...and now i dunno it's just lovely...well i could ramble on and on and on...but i am never this mushy and gushy and cute and cheesy...well i havent been since i met the real terri lol...but thats long time ago and the terri that made me fall for her and want her back each time has been gone for a long long time and everytime i went back she turned right back into the real person i hated and i felt the same way i did when i left miserable,lonely, and unappeciated....but i know thats not going to happen with my jazzbian...she has a heart of gold, we have told eachother about our pasts and she still accepcts me and unconditionally gives me her whole heart and all...and we dont hold anything back...so its not fake...we are seeing the best and realness of eachother right away becasue we are so mad crazy over eathother neither of us want to hold back...and so there isnt none of that awkward not knowing how to act and shit....b/c for once i am being natural...
yes i realzie how fucking vounerable i am right now....but i dont give a shit. rip my heart out and stomp on it...(no just kidding baby dont, and i dont think u would)..i am just saying, and trying to make a point you only live once...why walk away from something u have no idea how the outcome will be?!and i have yet to die or not been able to recover from anything thats happened in my life thats tramitic like nora/kerstins deaths...not that anyone really knows how much those things affected me b.c i never told neone til now but they did, and it just part of life...
so i dont understand why people run from commitments...ohh b.c their past they been hurt too much. well the way i look at is it was all preperation for the real deal...so yea enough rambling and philiphsopy...yea i spelt it out the best i could,. lol u can figure it out for yourselfs...lol well i am outtie...peace, Sharebear