PO FUCKING EMS, or songs if you will. though you wont....
Write josh, write like the dickens. and if you by chance read these, dont take them too close to heart, i dont intend to marry anyone tomorrow. there are quite a few more i've done lately, but they either SUCK or i want to finish up a little. enjoy (if you can stomach this crap)
Josh Benson - I Cannot Know
We held hands in my bed, talking about life and justice
And 80s cartoons
We argued about who was the best Skeletor and
Other such things that made me swoon
You said I look like a Ben and I said I can’t believe it
That was my grandfather’s name
So we talked for an hour or two about zombie movies and you
And that was my aim
All I wanted from the moment I laid eyes on you was to
Be in your heart
Unfortunately there was something I seemed to forget about
Just a small part
You already had a man to have and to hold you
To bask in your glow
Those lips, those eyes of passion fire burns
I cannot know
I cannot know what it feels like to have you
To come home to
I cannot know just how he feels to say
I love you
But I can wait with these starving eyes and anxious palms
As you figure it out and sort out personal qualms
I think this is more like a comedy than anything
Romantic at some points, but simple humor at best
At least the undertone of it all has true meaning
One liners like “You’ll always have my chest,
My body on which your head may rest”
A happy ending to send us off would be nice
A sort of off in the sunset cinematic device
Or maybe an open ending, a score of possibilities
Where we could conjure our own happily ever after, to the best of our abilities
White picket fence or adventure in paradise
My hand in yours, you my romantic accomplice
Josh Benson - One Day
I can be held responsible for my actions
For my lack of understanding
For my envious heart
I can be held accountable for making you chose
But I will not sit idly by
As he makes you cry
Tell me we didn’t fit together like spoons
In some cupboard drawer
In a cottage far away from this
That day spent, your hand in mine
Was more amazing than anything
More than my first time
That’s one thing I’ll always have
The moment where our hands first interlaced
Where in my arms, you I embraced
That sensation of anxious fear
Knowing that with each tender touch
Our last would draw near
So to not take for granted all you offer
I try not to pull away
Try to appreciate this one day I got
And if it just so happens
As it was suppose to happen
That we were only to have a one day romance
I'm fine with that, but not in an apathetic sense
Because it’s like I said
I’ve been looking for a girl like you all my life
Perhaps even in past lives
20 years on this earth
I can wait a little while longer
Because it won’t kill me
And even if it does
At least I died with the hope of love.
Josh Benson - 1000 Words
A picture is worth a thousand words
So let me explain this image I have, of you
Radiantly defiant of any societal norm
A persistent inner strength that can weather any storm
Sharp as a tack, and as a matter of fact
You are, my intellectual equivalent
If not more
And if not for
Those eyes of yours
Still lost I would be, way before
I ever knew you and those hands
The very ones that joined with mine
To turn me into, this better man
Such emotions that words have not yet been assigned
With the space between your picture and my eyes, one would find
All the joy of Christmas
And the excitement of Halloween
Rolled into this ideal image of you
My soft skinned red headed queen
I will not force another word to describe what I see
But after you finish this, do us both a favor and kiss me
Josh Benson - Into Black
Eyes of yours!
Eyes that burn
Poisonous flower
Serpent of death
Under your spell
Controlled by power
Breathe in my last breath
Deem this my hell
Lay on the coals
Feel your skin curl
These Dead Sea scrolls
Seek your lovely pearl
And insides of torment
A hidden sea of green
A beauty the world does resent
A post modern Victorian scene
Stay with me till the second coming
Till God reveals his true face
Or if these books have had no meaning
And a void for heaven does replace
And it all ends in a puff of smoke
A kiss from you in that final moment
Is all in my heart that I hope
Then into the void, we begin our decent
Will you say, you loved every second spent
Will you hold me, your arms around my back
Will you cry out for a second chance, full of resent and regret
Will you close your eyes, or look at me as we melt into black
Josh Benson - Brown Carpet
I'm lying face down on the floor
With my head underneath my bed
Screaming till my throat breaks
Singing with all that my heart can take
And I know I won’t sleep tonight
Through my body is putting up such a fight
In this brown shag carpet, all I can see is your face
Your hair, cascading down, across my cheeks
Your head drawing closer, kissing me on the neck
And you rest your head right there on my chest
Your arms behind my back, holding tight to my shoulder blades
As if you thought if you pushed hard enough, wings would sprout, i would become some sort of angel with only you to save
To rise up above
All you’re afraid of
To take you away, to some better place
In the heavens above, or just a field between two mountains
As we look up and kiss the rain
And worry not about time or plans or who to please
And we run like kids, and I know you are for me
The world under our feet is just that, beneath us
And in our embrace I can feel it, a strong trust
As if we both know
That if we let go
No winter storm, or evil hell born, could keep us apart
And I begin to think that this is where we start
But I notice that everything has a hazy brown tint
Then I remember, most of that didn’t happen yet
So I open my eyes to see nothing
But brown carpet
A scratchy reminder
Of a lovely time
A happily ever after
That can’t be mine
This brown carpet
That suffocates my face
Like your hair did one night
When I first received your grace
Like a beam of light
Flashed in your window in the morning
Though I couldn’t stay until the dawn
But it felt like your heart was for me
In a memory that is too far gone
Josh Benson - Die Alone
The more I write
The more I realize
I want to die alone
I want to drink here in this dark room
With my bottle to my lips, thinking with every sip
About the words I heard from the screen
Every living creature dies alone
Now I know that’s a lie
My grandmother died with a family at her side
And my great-grand-mother was buried with her family pride
Those who have God die with a faith in their soul
And true lovers die within hours of each other, with only love they hold
On to life, which is nothing more than a search for essence
A search for someone to die with, a warm body that for me does not exist
Love or God, our searches are for the same cause
Someone to shed a tear when we suffer lives flaws
When the path we’ve lived comes to an end
It’s good to know by your side you’ll have a friend
Someone you really think understands your mind
But I know there’s nothing for me to get behind
No person who will truly accept me for who I chose to be
No fucking soul mate, no love of my life, no destiny
At least not in sight
And I know for sure not tonight
So I set my bottle next to my pen
And pick it up, start writing again
Writing these depressing words that no one cares to hear
Because no one wants to accept that the only reason they keep someone near
Is to fall back on them, when the moment comes
When hope is lost, when their last curtain is called
When their final dawn fades into the façade of the obscurity
It’s good to say to yourself “I’ve got someone close to me.”
But I want something more than all of this
Some better love tale, something more than bliss
Where it is not for my or your personal betterment
But for a love that will last till physical bodies are absent
Josh Benson - I Cannot Know
We held hands in my bed, talking about life and justice
And 80s cartoons
We argued about who was the best Skeletor and
Other such things that made me swoon
You said I look like a Ben and I said I can’t believe it
That was my grandfather’s name
So we talked for an hour or two about zombie movies and you
And that was my aim
All I wanted from the moment I laid eyes on you was to
Be in your heart
Unfortunately there was something I seemed to forget about
Just a small part
You already had a man to have and to hold you
To bask in your glow
Those lips, those eyes of passion fire burns
I cannot know
I cannot know what it feels like to have you
To come home to
I cannot know just how he feels to say
I love you
But I can wait with these starving eyes and anxious palms
As you figure it out and sort out personal qualms
I think this is more like a comedy than anything
Romantic at some points, but simple humor at best
At least the undertone of it all has true meaning
One liners like “You’ll always have my chest,
My body on which your head may rest”
A happy ending to send us off would be nice
A sort of off in the sunset cinematic device
Or maybe an open ending, a score of possibilities
Where we could conjure our own happily ever after, to the best of our abilities
White picket fence or adventure in paradise
My hand in yours, you my romantic accomplice
Josh Benson - One Day
I can be held responsible for my actions
For my lack of understanding
For my envious heart
I can be held accountable for making you chose
But I will not sit idly by
As he makes you cry
Tell me we didn’t fit together like spoons
In some cupboard drawer
In a cottage far away from this
That day spent, your hand in mine
Was more amazing than anything
More than my first time
That’s one thing I’ll always have
The moment where our hands first interlaced
Where in my arms, you I embraced
That sensation of anxious fear
Knowing that with each tender touch
Our last would draw near
So to not take for granted all you offer
I try not to pull away
Try to appreciate this one day I got
And if it just so happens
As it was suppose to happen
That we were only to have a one day romance
I'm fine with that, but not in an apathetic sense
Because it’s like I said
I’ve been looking for a girl like you all my life
Perhaps even in past lives
20 years on this earth
I can wait a little while longer
Because it won’t kill me
And even if it does
At least I died with the hope of love.
Josh Benson - 1000 Words
A picture is worth a thousand words
So let me explain this image I have, of you
Radiantly defiant of any societal norm
A persistent inner strength that can weather any storm
Sharp as a tack, and as a matter of fact
You are, my intellectual equivalent
If not more
And if not for
Those eyes of yours
Still lost I would be, way before
I ever knew you and those hands
The very ones that joined with mine
To turn me into, this better man
Such emotions that words have not yet been assigned
With the space between your picture and my eyes, one would find
All the joy of Christmas
And the excitement of Halloween
Rolled into this ideal image of you
My soft skinned red headed queen
I will not force another word to describe what I see
But after you finish this, do us both a favor and kiss me
Josh Benson - Into Black
Eyes of yours!
Eyes that burn
Poisonous flower
Serpent of death
Under your spell
Controlled by power
Breathe in my last breath
Deem this my hell
Lay on the coals
Feel your skin curl
These Dead Sea scrolls
Seek your lovely pearl
And insides of torment
A hidden sea of green
A beauty the world does resent
A post modern Victorian scene
Stay with me till the second coming
Till God reveals his true face
Or if these books have had no meaning
And a void for heaven does replace
And it all ends in a puff of smoke
A kiss from you in that final moment
Is all in my heart that I hope
Then into the void, we begin our decent
Will you say, you loved every second spent
Will you hold me, your arms around my back
Will you cry out for a second chance, full of resent and regret
Will you close your eyes, or look at me as we melt into black
Josh Benson - Brown Carpet
I'm lying face down on the floor
With my head underneath my bed
Screaming till my throat breaks
Singing with all that my heart can take
And I know I won’t sleep tonight
Through my body is putting up such a fight
In this brown shag carpet, all I can see is your face
Your hair, cascading down, across my cheeks
Your head drawing closer, kissing me on the neck
And you rest your head right there on my chest
Your arms behind my back, holding tight to my shoulder blades
As if you thought if you pushed hard enough, wings would sprout, i would become some sort of angel with only you to save
To rise up above
All you’re afraid of
To take you away, to some better place
In the heavens above, or just a field between two mountains
As we look up and kiss the rain
And worry not about time or plans or who to please
And we run like kids, and I know you are for me
The world under our feet is just that, beneath us
And in our embrace I can feel it, a strong trust
As if we both know
That if we let go
No winter storm, or evil hell born, could keep us apart
And I begin to think that this is where we start
But I notice that everything has a hazy brown tint
Then I remember, most of that didn’t happen yet
So I open my eyes to see nothing
But brown carpet
A scratchy reminder
Of a lovely time
A happily ever after
That can’t be mine
This brown carpet
That suffocates my face
Like your hair did one night
When I first received your grace
Like a beam of light
Flashed in your window in the morning
Though I couldn’t stay until the dawn
But it felt like your heart was for me
In a memory that is too far gone
Josh Benson - Die Alone
The more I write
The more I realize
I want to die alone
I want to drink here in this dark room
With my bottle to my lips, thinking with every sip
About the words I heard from the screen
Every living creature dies alone
Now I know that’s a lie
My grandmother died with a family at her side
And my great-grand-mother was buried with her family pride
Those who have God die with a faith in their soul
And true lovers die within hours of each other, with only love they hold
On to life, which is nothing more than a search for essence
A search for someone to die with, a warm body that for me does not exist
Love or God, our searches are for the same cause
Someone to shed a tear when we suffer lives flaws
When the path we’ve lived comes to an end
It’s good to know by your side you’ll have a friend
Someone you really think understands your mind
But I know there’s nothing for me to get behind
No person who will truly accept me for who I chose to be
No fucking soul mate, no love of my life, no destiny
At least not in sight
And I know for sure not tonight
So I set my bottle next to my pen
And pick it up, start writing again
Writing these depressing words that no one cares to hear
Because no one wants to accept that the only reason they keep someone near
Is to fall back on them, when the moment comes
When hope is lost, when their last curtain is called
When their final dawn fades into the façade of the obscurity
It’s good to say to yourself “I’ve got someone close to me.”
But I want something more than all of this
Some better love tale, something more than bliss
Where it is not for my or your personal betterment
But for a love that will last till physical bodies are absent