until one day they found me, face up in the gutter, wide awake...
ah, and it's midnight again. i keep forgetting that i open on wednesday mornings now and really ought to get good sleep on tuesday nights.
working from that standpoint, this will be a quick update: buffy - cool. smallville - stupid plot, not enough lex, but mission impossible!bo was fun enough that i didn't really care.
in other news - okay, i'm still not entirely sure this is a good idea, but the out-pouring of support (well, one request) has convinced me to ignore my better judgement. and so i present you with the
notes: this is set after ariel. also, it was written quite late at night and i haven't the heart right now to look it over for typos and/or stupidity. in other words, read at your own risk.
Gratitude
Jayne managed to avoid Simon for a good week after the whole incident with the Feds on Ariel. Mal had decided to try selling their haul on some of the remotest planets in the outer ring, and the trip so far had been uneventful. Uneventful meant no injuries, which meant no visits to the infirmary. Between that bit of luck and the avoidance of the organized crew meals, the risk that Jayne might have to deal with the doctor smiling at him dropped to roughly zero.
Unless, of course, Simon chose to track him down while he was cleaning his weapons in his quarters.
Jayne couldn't remember anyone but Mal ever paying a visit to his quarters, so he hadn't even thought to ask when there came a rap at the entry hatch. He just hollered up for the intruder to come in, make his business known, and get out.
Well, actually he hollered, "Yeah?" but he felt the message was fairly implicit.
Hence the confusion when he looked up to see not Mal's boots on the rungs of the ladder but instead those shiny shoes the doctor always wore.
Jayne sat stunned for a moment before setting Vera down on the table beside his bunk and standing to greet his guest.
"What do you want?"
Simon stepped off the ladder, though Jayne noticed he kept one hand on the metal railing, prepared to make a quick escape. Apart from that, though, he seemed largely unfazed by the abrupt greeting. Perhaps he was getting used to Jayne's manner. "I, uh..." he took a breath and looked up to meet Jayne's gaze. He continued, voice firm, "I wanted to speak with you."
Jayne crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. Simon held the silence for all of three seconds before giving in. "You haven't been at dinner with the crew the last few nights." He relinquished his grip on the ladder and stepped into the room, still maintaining eye contact. "And I think I know why."
Jayne cocked his head to the side, curious and not a little challenging. "Do you now?"
"I... Yes. I think so." His hand jerked in an aborted gesture of some sort, falling back to his side to rub nervously at his hip. "You've been avoiding me," he stated, letting his gaze slide away. "You did the same thing after Canton, avoiding contact with the crew. Only this time it's just about me."
Jayne snorted. "Someone's got a mighty high opinion of himself."
Simon surged forward, something wild blazing in his eyes, nearly black in this light. "Tell me I'm wrong," he demanded, "Tell me this isn't about me being grateful to you for saving River from the Feds back there on Ariel."
Simon's outburst startled Jayne into a step backward. He recovered quickly, though, pressing forward to meet the doctor in the center of the room. "Sorry to break it to you, Doc, but I don't give a good gorram what you're grateful for."
"Yes, you do," Simon insisted. Jayne's arm shot out, his hand landing hard on the doctor's chest, shoving him back until he hit the wall.
"Don't you tell me how I feel," he growled low in his throat, leaning in to take full advantage of the height differential.
"I don't... I'm not telling you how to feel, Jayne," the doctor backtracked quickly, breathlessly, with the passage of air somewhat constricted by the mercenary's forearm now pressed against his chest. "I'm just trying to... to make an observation about your behavior." He cautiously pried Jayne's arm off his chest, wrapping his fingers around the mercenary's wrist. Well, as far around as they would reach. So accustomed to seeing Jayne stretched out on the chairs in the infirmary, Simon sometimes forgot just how imposing the man could be. Jayne allowed his arm to drop away, which Simon took as permission of a sort. He forged on, trying to keep things calm and clinical. "I'm grateful to you for what you did on Ariel. This is a problem since you're not comfortable with gratitude unless it's in some monetary form." Jayne retreated a step or two, apparently considering the assessment. He hadn't automatically lashed out or hit Simon or anything. That was probably a good sign. The doctor waited another moment, weighing the wisdom of continuing as planned. Things had been proceeding all right so far...
"Gratitude with no strings attached. That's what bothered you, or at least part of what bothered you, about that mudder on Canton. And it's what bothers you now, about me. And River."
"I might believe that you're grateful or whatever you say," Jayne allowed, backing off further into the center of the room, "but that loon-brained sister of yours don't know what's comin' or going-"
"Fine," Simon cut him off, stepping away from the wall into the newly open space,
"We'll leave River out of this. The real issue here is your discomfort. Don't worry, though," Simon half-smiled up at Jayne, "I'm going to fix everything."
Jayne's eyes narrowed in suspicion as he took another step backward. "How?"
"I'll just have to express my thanks in a form you're more comfortable with." Again, Simon moved forward into the space Jayne had just vacated. He waited, while Jayne thought it over, most likely replaying the conversation in his head, his brow creasing with concentration.
Finally he reached a conclusion, looking curiously at the doctor. "You're going to pay me?"
Simon couldn't entirely suppress a laugh, though he tried to mask it in a cough. "I'm afraid I haven't got much in the way of liquid assets - " a quick glance at Jayne's still-furrowed brow, "Cash. I don't have much money these days. But I... well, I thought you might accept my thanks in, ah... barter." Simon looked up boldly and saw his opportunity in the flicker of understanding behind Jayne's eyes.
Again the doctor advanced and the Jayne withdrew, retreating until the backs of his calves hit the bunk. He looked down at Simon. "Barter..." Jayne breathed slowly, sounding about as curious as he did suspicious.
"Does that sound like an acceptable arrangement?" Simon forced himself to hold still, swaying almost imperceptibly closer to Jayne, like a moon barely resisting the gravitational pull of its planet. The offer was implicit in his bearing, the casual invasion of Jayne's personal space. It would take a much stronger man than Jayne to turn him down, standing there with his soft white hands, his clean white shirt and crisp dark vest, soft-looking strands of dark hair curling in along his pale forehead. His hand was already reaching up to see if that hair was really as soft as it looked when he heard himself agree.
"Yeah, all right..." spoken almost dreamily, though Jayne was jolted back to awareness when Simon pushed him somewhat unceremoniously onto the bunk. He did notice, though, that the doctor angled him just so his head hit the pillow instead of the wall.
***
yeah, so, it's unfinished (obviously) and i'm not terribly happy with the p.o.v., and there's a million other things wrong with it, but other than that - perfection!
yeah.
"quick update." ha! hahaha. i am so very amsuing. yeah, i'm off to get 5.5 hours of sleep. stupid razz-a-frazzing 'smart quotes'... arr...
working from that standpoint, this will be a quick update: buffy - cool. smallville - stupid plot, not enough lex, but mission impossible!bo was fun enough that i didn't really care.
in other news - okay, i'm still not entirely sure this is a good idea, but the out-pouring of support (well, one request) has convinced me to ignore my better judgement. and so i present you with the
notes: this is set after ariel. also, it was written quite late at night and i haven't the heart right now to look it over for typos and/or stupidity. in other words, read at your own risk.
Gratitude
Jayne managed to avoid Simon for a good week after the whole incident with the Feds on Ariel. Mal had decided to try selling their haul on some of the remotest planets in the outer ring, and the trip so far had been uneventful. Uneventful meant no injuries, which meant no visits to the infirmary. Between that bit of luck and the avoidance of the organized crew meals, the risk that Jayne might have to deal with the doctor smiling at him dropped to roughly zero.
Unless, of course, Simon chose to track him down while he was cleaning his weapons in his quarters.
Jayne couldn't remember anyone but Mal ever paying a visit to his quarters, so he hadn't even thought to ask when there came a rap at the entry hatch. He just hollered up for the intruder to come in, make his business known, and get out.
Well, actually he hollered, "Yeah?" but he felt the message was fairly implicit.
Hence the confusion when he looked up to see not Mal's boots on the rungs of the ladder but instead those shiny shoes the doctor always wore.
Jayne sat stunned for a moment before setting Vera down on the table beside his bunk and standing to greet his guest.
"What do you want?"
Simon stepped off the ladder, though Jayne noticed he kept one hand on the metal railing, prepared to make a quick escape. Apart from that, though, he seemed largely unfazed by the abrupt greeting. Perhaps he was getting used to Jayne's manner. "I, uh..." he took a breath and looked up to meet Jayne's gaze. He continued, voice firm, "I wanted to speak with you."
Jayne crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. Simon held the silence for all of three seconds before giving in. "You haven't been at dinner with the crew the last few nights." He relinquished his grip on the ladder and stepped into the room, still maintaining eye contact. "And I think I know why."
Jayne cocked his head to the side, curious and not a little challenging. "Do you now?"
"I... Yes. I think so." His hand jerked in an aborted gesture of some sort, falling back to his side to rub nervously at his hip. "You've been avoiding me," he stated, letting his gaze slide away. "You did the same thing after Canton, avoiding contact with the crew. Only this time it's just about me."
Jayne snorted. "Someone's got a mighty high opinion of himself."
Simon surged forward, something wild blazing in his eyes, nearly black in this light. "Tell me I'm wrong," he demanded, "Tell me this isn't about me being grateful to you for saving River from the Feds back there on Ariel."
Simon's outburst startled Jayne into a step backward. He recovered quickly, though, pressing forward to meet the doctor in the center of the room. "Sorry to break it to you, Doc, but I don't give a good gorram what you're grateful for."
"Yes, you do," Simon insisted. Jayne's arm shot out, his hand landing hard on the doctor's chest, shoving him back until he hit the wall.
"Don't you tell me how I feel," he growled low in his throat, leaning in to take full advantage of the height differential.
"I don't... I'm not telling you how to feel, Jayne," the doctor backtracked quickly, breathlessly, with the passage of air somewhat constricted by the mercenary's forearm now pressed against his chest. "I'm just trying to... to make an observation about your behavior." He cautiously pried Jayne's arm off his chest, wrapping his fingers around the mercenary's wrist. Well, as far around as they would reach. So accustomed to seeing Jayne stretched out on the chairs in the infirmary, Simon sometimes forgot just how imposing the man could be. Jayne allowed his arm to drop away, which Simon took as permission of a sort. He forged on, trying to keep things calm and clinical. "I'm grateful to you for what you did on Ariel. This is a problem since you're not comfortable with gratitude unless it's in some monetary form." Jayne retreated a step or two, apparently considering the assessment. He hadn't automatically lashed out or hit Simon or anything. That was probably a good sign. The doctor waited another moment, weighing the wisdom of continuing as planned. Things had been proceeding all right so far...
"Gratitude with no strings attached. That's what bothered you, or at least part of what bothered you, about that mudder on Canton. And it's what bothers you now, about me. And River."
"I might believe that you're grateful or whatever you say," Jayne allowed, backing off further into the center of the room, "but that loon-brained sister of yours don't know what's comin' or going-"
"Fine," Simon cut him off, stepping away from the wall into the newly open space,
"We'll leave River out of this. The real issue here is your discomfort. Don't worry, though," Simon half-smiled up at Jayne, "I'm going to fix everything."
Jayne's eyes narrowed in suspicion as he took another step backward. "How?"
"I'll just have to express my thanks in a form you're more comfortable with." Again, Simon moved forward into the space Jayne had just vacated. He waited, while Jayne thought it over, most likely replaying the conversation in his head, his brow creasing with concentration.
Finally he reached a conclusion, looking curiously at the doctor. "You're going to pay me?"
Simon couldn't entirely suppress a laugh, though he tried to mask it in a cough. "I'm afraid I haven't got much in the way of liquid assets - " a quick glance at Jayne's still-furrowed brow, "Cash. I don't have much money these days. But I... well, I thought you might accept my thanks in, ah... barter." Simon looked up boldly and saw his opportunity in the flicker of understanding behind Jayne's eyes.
Again the doctor advanced and the Jayne withdrew, retreating until the backs of his calves hit the bunk. He looked down at Simon. "Barter..." Jayne breathed slowly, sounding about as curious as he did suspicious.
"Does that sound like an acceptable arrangement?" Simon forced himself to hold still, swaying almost imperceptibly closer to Jayne, like a moon barely resisting the gravitational pull of its planet. The offer was implicit in his bearing, the casual invasion of Jayne's personal space. It would take a much stronger man than Jayne to turn him down, standing there with his soft white hands, his clean white shirt and crisp dark vest, soft-looking strands of dark hair curling in along his pale forehead. His hand was already reaching up to see if that hair was really as soft as it looked when he heard himself agree.
"Yeah, all right..." spoken almost dreamily, though Jayne was jolted back to awareness when Simon pushed him somewhat unceremoniously onto the bunk. He did notice, though, that the doctor angled him just so his head hit the pillow instead of the wall.
***
yeah, so, it's unfinished (obviously) and i'm not terribly happy with the p.o.v., and there's a million other things wrong with it, but other than that - perfection!
yeah.
"quick update." ha! hahaha. i am so very amsuing. yeah, i'm off to get 5.5 hours of sleep. stupid razz-a-frazzing 'smart quotes'... arr...