Has it been 5 months already?
Since I last posted here? Its amazing how less important the internet has become to me, in general. Oh I'm still around, but I just dont tend to feel the need to post everything, or anything for that matter, really. Dont know what happened, my interest level just dropped.
Not a whole lot has changed. Still at my shitty little job making shitty wages, driving a shitty truck. Honestly, my priorities are messed up, as they have been for somet time now. Over the last year I have rediscovered paintball, and I spend too much money on it. There are alot of things I need to cut out of my budget, or at least cut back on. Thats not really all that tough.
I actually have been doing pretty well, and feeling well for awhile now. Recently I've been alittle down because I realize I'm not good boyfriend material - I'm flaky, and dont come through when it counts. Been sad because while I still really like a certain person, its super tough for me to communicate that - and a bit scary too. All the while This person understandably is testing the waters and seeing people here and there. And it hurts like a motherfucker. All because of my lack of assertiveness. Or my fear of real intimacy. Or a bit of both. And if she reads this she's most likely going to know its about her. Or I could grow at least one nut and just tell her before its too late (where have I heard that before)
She's probably going to be another one that I think about down the road and go "what if....."
Thats pretty much all I have to complain about, lol. :)
Not a whole lot has changed. Still at my shitty little job making shitty wages, driving a shitty truck. Honestly, my priorities are messed up, as they have been for somet time now. Over the last year I have rediscovered paintball, and I spend too much money on it. There are alot of things I need to cut out of my budget, or at least cut back on. Thats not really all that tough.
I actually have been doing pretty well, and feeling well for awhile now. Recently I've been alittle down because I realize I'm not good boyfriend material - I'm flaky, and dont come through when it counts. Been sad because while I still really like a certain person, its super tough for me to communicate that - and a bit scary too. All the while This person understandably is testing the waters and seeing people here and there. And it hurts like a motherfucker. All because of my lack of assertiveness. Or my fear of real intimacy. Or a bit of both. And if she reads this she's most likely going to know its about her. Or I could grow at least one nut and just tell her before its too late (where have I heard that before)
She's probably going to be another one that I think about down the road and go "what if....."
Thats pretty much all I have to complain about, lol. :)