(no subject)
so I've been having revelations lately, kind of.. first.. I've been thinking about stephanie more then usual.. no I'm not going to obsess over her again.. because I have tara and yeah.. but I was just thinking about how we just stopped talking, and stopped being there for each other, and as much as I want to call her up and tell her that I miss her and I want to hang out and us to be friends, I know that isn't a good idea.. because the only reason why is because I want her to know I didn't just want her ass.. though here is my question, if we were just good being friends, why did she lose touch with me when I started going out with tara? well anyway, I know that ex's are ex's for reasons. and I'm not so sure that your suppose to be friends with ex's because there is an obvious reason why you aren't still together, and if it was just because you didn't work when you were together but you do when your just friends thats fine. .but other then that, yeah I am not big on being friends with ex's, with that said bridget is also like a best friend and we dated, so there is a thin line, but we were so close on a friend level that yeah it's kind of hard for us not to be friends. like we have this weird bond.. hard to explain kind of would just have to be one of the two of us, but it's like we talk about everything with no uncomfortableness, and we for the most part understand each other.. I guess I've been thinking about this a lot because of how mary dicked me over.. like, I felt like I was 16 again getting fucked with "yeah I'm coming" and her never showing up.. and I don't need that in my life, I don't need someone who just doesn't care, there are people who act like they don't care, and there are people who just don't care.. example, callea acted like she didn't care, mary, just doesn't care. if something better comes up, its like fuck who ever she ditches for it, she didn't even call. to me thats not a friend, thats not an ex, thats a no one. well and then there is tara who is unlike anyone I've ever dated. She is like super tara, she does everything she possibly can for everyone and puts herself as last as she can.. and I am not thinking future right now, so I cant' say weather or not we would break up if I would still be friends with her or not.. but I would hope that I would be able to keep her in my life.. but the fact of the matter is that right here right now, I'm very happy that we are together, we are very good.. and I hope we stay that way.. ..
on a sad note, my sisters dog, kind of.. dimmy died.. he got hit by a car on grafton road in valley city.. that sucks.. so pretzel is sleeping in my room..
another note Idon't have to work tomorrow.. and I asked casey to go to prom with me.. yeah I'll let you know how that goes.. first thing out of everyones mouths though, why don't you go with tara.. and I felt bad because tara was like I wonder how horrible they think I am.. blah blah blah.. and I said yeah lets not talk about that.. and it's just that no I don't want to lie and say, yeah they think that its great that I don't really want to go because I have no one to go with.. and I can't take tara, but at the same time you know I understand, and I didn't even ask her, because I don't know how comfortable I feel about us going together, I do really want to go, but will I.. I'm thinking no.. but I do have those two days off so we'll see. ha where is alicia boykin.. Dawn go to home coming with me.. last year.. lol.. no alicia I don't think that is a good idea.. then when kristen and dan told her I was gay.. no kristen your lying how could you make up such horrible things about your friend.. yeah I had to break it to her for real. got to love it though..
on a sad note, my sisters dog, kind of.. dimmy died.. he got hit by a car on grafton road in valley city.. that sucks.. so pretzel is sleeping in my room..
another note Idon't have to work tomorrow.. and I asked casey to go to prom with me.. yeah I'll let you know how that goes.. first thing out of everyones mouths though, why don't you go with tara.. and I felt bad because tara was like I wonder how horrible they think I am.. blah blah blah.. and I said yeah lets not talk about that.. and it's just that no I don't want to lie and say, yeah they think that its great that I don't really want to go because I have no one to go with.. and I can't take tara, but at the same time you know I understand, and I didn't even ask her, because I don't know how comfortable I feel about us going together, I do really want to go, but will I.. I'm thinking no.. but I do have those two days off so we'll see. ha where is alicia boykin.. Dawn go to home coming with me.. last year.. lol.. no alicia I don't think that is a good idea.. then when kristen and dan told her I was gay.. no kristen your lying how could you make up such horrible things about your friend.. yeah I had to break it to her for real. got to love it though..