workouts at 11:30...wonderful.
hmm...my second post in like...i dunno when. but yea. i went and worked out. i left my apartment at 11:30. i came back like...now. and it was fun. i had the entire place to myself. and im not even working out to achieve the "perfect" body. i realized that my body is perfect the way it is. i don't need to change. and anybody who asks me to isn't worth my time. i realized that my 122 pound body is normal. for me. maybe not for other people. but im actually becoming happy with who i am and what i look like. im so proud of myself. gosh. when you have an entire workout room to yourself...and its quiet...you think. a lot. and you realize plenty of things. and you get confused about others. and then you can just concentrate on pushing yourself to your limits. not the limits of the people around you. you don't have to worry about what they're thinking about you. if they think you're a wimp. if they think you're too fat. too thin. too whatever. i don't know. its weird. but i thought about a lot of stuff. some things i can't go into detail. gosh. i had like an epiphany sitting there in the workout room. now i just want to sit in a pool chair and look up at the stars. wrapped up in my comforter. with my teddy bear. just looking. and thinking. and wishing. and realizing that although the world is not perfect, my life is becoming better and better. im becoming closer to a lot of my friends. im becoming closer to travis. i mean...our relationship is not perfect. no relationship is. but its wonderful. hm...i think the closest to perfect ive ever seen a relationship was my parents. my real dad and my mom. just to give you a perspective on how great it was...one of their biggest "fights" was about whether or not ketchup had to be refridgerated. they actually called the ketchup company to find out. haha. some fight. someday...i hope i marry a guy like my dad. that sounds weird. but its true. my dad was the greatest. and i hope im a mom like my mom. i don't want to be mean to my kids. give them a punishment when they deserve it, but let them have fun. don't tie them to your apron strings, but don't let them roam freely. give them boundaries but not limits. and corporal punishment is out. thats cruel. never ever ever hit your child. don't let your spouse hit your child. its the worst thing you can do. they will grow up emotionally scarred. show them compassionate love. wow. im really on a roll here. i had to write a love letter from a book today. cyrano de bergerac. i wrote a letter from cyrano to roxane. and the class voted it the best. and they didn't know it was mine. but yea...i do give myself credit. it was great. i didn't even think i could write like that. but i succeeded in accomplishing it. and now i think im going to call travis to tell him my ephiphany and then im going to bed. goodnight.