it's that meme
where you pick ten characters from something and answer strange questions about them. I really want to write Julius Caesar fic right now, but my brain is fried and I've convinced myself that I have homework to do and I don't have time. So this is the compromise.
1. Brutus
2. Antony
3. Cassius
4. Casca
5. Portia
6. (Julius) Caesar
7. Lepidus
8. Octavius (Caesar)
9. Calpurnia
10. Lucius (lol idk)
11. Cicero
12. Cinna (not the poet)
Have you read a 6(Caesar)/11(Cicero) fic? Do you want to?
Oh god. No and no.
Do you think 4 (Casca) is hot? How hot?
Depends on the actor. 79!Casca was probably more cute than hot, but he was certainly attractive. In general, though, no, Casca isn't hot.
What would happen if 12 (Cinna) got 8 (Octavius) pregnant?
Well, considering that the laws of biology have already been broken, Octavius would abort the baby WITH HIS MIND.
Can you rec any fics about 9 (Calpurnia)?
I already have, but I'll do it again! Aspects of the Goddess, the Portia/Calpurnia fic written for me for Ides of April. It's lovely, I cannot recommend it highly enough. <3
Would 2 (Antony) and 6 (Caesar) make a good couple?
Hell yessss. Antony/Caesar may actually be historically canon, but don't quote me on that.
5(Portia)/9(Calpurnia) or 5(Portia)/10(Lucius)? Why?
Portia/Calpurnia ALL THE WAY. Because femmeslash is awesome. Also, these two, they just WORK, you know? (Only two ladies in the whole play gotta stick together...)
What would happen if 7 (Lepidus) walked in on 2 (Antony) and 12 (Cinna) having sex?
He'd probably keep it to himself, then use it later to blackmail Antony. Secretly, Lepidus is a sneaky little bastard.
Make up a summary for a 3(Cassius)/10(Lucius) fic.
Cassius/Lucius. Oh god. I DON'T WANNA.
Er, okay. Let's assume Lucius is at least in his teens. When Cassius says "Fill, Lucius, till the wine o'erswell the cup", Lucius thinks Cassius is hitting on him. That night, Brutus falls asleep before seeing the ghost (happened in the 53 film, it's canon, okay?). Between then and when he wakes up, Lucius gets up and sneaks off to Cassius' tent. Meanwhile, Cassius, already a little bit impaired and worrying about the next day's battle, has gotten VERY drunk. He invites Lucius in for a drink. Lucius decides his earlier assumption was correct. Lucius gets a little tipsy, but before they can get it on, Lucius hears some noise coming from Brutus' tent. He comes back in right when the ghost disappears and Brutus, tired and freaked out, doesn't notice anything.
Is there any such thing as 1(Brutus)/8(Octavius) fluff?
No. Oh my god I don't even want to think about that possibility.
Does anyone on your friends list read 7 (Lepidus) slash?
They will have once I finish my fic.
Does anyone on your friends list read 3 (Cassius) het?
I don't think that even EXISTS.
Would anyone on your friends list write 2(Antony)/4(Casca)/5(Portia)?
The short answer to this one is no.
What might 10 (Lucius) scream out at a moment of great passion?
I don't think he would scream anything in particular. He would just scream.
If you wrote a songfic about 8 (Octavius), which song would you choose?
I would LOVE to give any answer other than For Your Entertainment. Unfortunately...
No escaping when I start
Once I’m in I own your heart
There’s no way to ring the alarm
So hold on until it’s over
Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do
‘Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here for your entertainment
I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
You thought an angel swept you off your feet
Well I’m about to turn up the heat
I’m here for your entertainment
...just SCREAMS Octavius. At least, the Octavius I imagine, who is in part a frigid bitch and in part a total slut.
If you wrote a 1(Brutus)/6(Caesar)/12(Cinna) fic, what would the warnings be?
Threesomes, intense sex, everyone else being Caesar's bitch.
What might be a good pick-up line for 2 (Antony) to use on 10 (Lucius)?
I am seriously regretting including Lucius in this list.
Probably any pick-up line would work. I have a feeling Lucius doesn't get a lot of love at home. Only creepy comments about instruments.
When was the last time you read a fic about 5 (Portia)?
Whenever was the last time I read Aspects of the Goddess, the fic I linked above.
What's 6 (Caesar)'s super-secret kink?
Everyone being his bitch Roleplay. He has a thing for power play. Particularly when he's the one with the power. Also, maid's outfits.
Would 11 (Cicero) shag 9 (Calpurnia)? Drunk or sober?
I can kinda see that happening. Maybe if they both got roaring drunk after the Lupercal.
If 3 (Cassius) and 7 (Lepidus) get together, who tops?
I generally think of Cassius as on the bottom, but Lepidus NEVER tops.
"1 (Brutus) and 9 (Calpurnia) are in a happy relationship until 9 (Calpurnia) suddenly runs off with 4 (Casca). 1 (Brutus), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 (Cicero) and a brief, unhappy affair with 12 (Cinna), then follows the wise advice of 5 (Portia) and finds true love with 3 (Cassius)." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
"Lead on Our Days to Age". Because, you know, true love! Growing old together! Aww. <3 Pretty much everyone on my flist from unkindestslash would read it, but I'm going to call casablancagirl out on writing it, because she can pull off those kinds of crazy pairings.
PS. This may be my Ides of April prompt next year. Be afraid.
How would you feel if 7(Lepidus)/8(Octavius) was canon?
TOTALLY VINDICATED.
No, seriously. The triumvirate have got it going on. Threesomes, triangles, whatever. It's all good.
Who would make a better college professor: 6 (Caesar) or 11 (Cicero)?
Is this even a question? Cicero.
Do you think 2 (Antony) is hot? How hot?
Brando!Antony is hot, because Brando's hot. 79!Antony is kinda hot. 70!Heston!Antony... gag me. The character is very hot, I just haven't seen him played by someone who's hot in an 'Antony' way, at least not in JC. (Holy shit I would kill a man to see James Purefoy play JC!Antony...)
12 (Cinna) sends 8 (Octavius) on a mission. What is it and does it succeed?
Cinna sends Octavius to... go find out what that poet friend of his has been doing lately.
It ends rather badly.
What would 5 (Portia) most likely be arrested for?
I don't think she'd be arrested for anything, but she's certainly be hospitalized for public self-mutilation.
If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 (Lepidus) or 8 (Octavius)?
Eh... Lepidus. I feel like if anything happened, Octavius would just save his own ass. Plus, I kinda like Lepidus.
Suggest a title for a 7(Lepidus)/12(Cinna) hurt/comfort fic.
Out of context, "Ease Ourselves" sounds kinda sweet.
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 (Casca) to deflower 1 (Brutus)?
The two Ws: wine and wartime.
1. Brutus
2. Antony
3. Cassius
4. Casca
5. Portia
6. (Julius) Caesar
7. Lepidus
8. Octavius (Caesar)
9. Calpurnia
10. Lucius (lol idk)
11. Cicero
12. Cinna (not the poet)
Have you read a 6(Caesar)/11(Cicero) fic? Do you want to?
Oh god. No and no.
Do you think 4 (Casca) is hot? How hot?
Depends on the actor. 79!Casca was probably more cute than hot, but he was certainly attractive. In general, though, no, Casca isn't hot.
What would happen if 12 (Cinna) got 8 (Octavius) pregnant?
Well, considering that the laws of biology have already been broken, Octavius would abort the baby WITH HIS MIND.
Can you rec any fics about 9 (Calpurnia)?
I already have, but I'll do it again! Aspects of the Goddess, the Portia/Calpurnia fic written for me for Ides of April. It's lovely, I cannot recommend it highly enough. <3
Would 2 (Antony) and 6 (Caesar) make a good couple?
Hell yessss. Antony/Caesar may actually be historically canon, but don't quote me on that.
5(Portia)/9(Calpurnia) or 5(Portia)/10(Lucius)? Why?
Portia/Calpurnia ALL THE WAY. Because femmeslash is awesome. Also, these two, they just WORK, you know? (Only two ladies in the whole play gotta stick together...)
What would happen if 7 (Lepidus) walked in on 2 (Antony) and 12 (Cinna) having sex?
He'd probably keep it to himself, then use it later to blackmail Antony. Secretly, Lepidus is a sneaky little bastard.
Make up a summary for a 3(Cassius)/10(Lucius) fic.
Cassius/Lucius. Oh god. I DON'T WANNA.
Er, okay. Let's assume Lucius is at least in his teens. When Cassius says "Fill, Lucius, till the wine o'erswell the cup", Lucius thinks Cassius is hitting on him. That night, Brutus falls asleep before seeing the ghost (happened in the 53 film, it's canon, okay?). Between then and when he wakes up, Lucius gets up and sneaks off to Cassius' tent. Meanwhile, Cassius, already a little bit impaired and worrying about the next day's battle, has gotten VERY drunk. He invites Lucius in for a drink. Lucius decides his earlier assumption was correct. Lucius gets a little tipsy, but before they can get it on, Lucius hears some noise coming from Brutus' tent. He comes back in right when the ghost disappears and Brutus, tired and freaked out, doesn't notice anything.
Is there any such thing as 1(Brutus)/8(Octavius) fluff?
No. Oh my god I don't even want to think about that possibility.
Does anyone on your friends list read 7 (Lepidus) slash?
They will have once I finish my fic.
Does anyone on your friends list read 3 (Cassius) het?
I don't think that even EXISTS.
Would anyone on your friends list write 2(Antony)/4(Casca)/5(Portia)?
The short answer to this one is no.
What might 10 (Lucius) scream out at a moment of great passion?
I don't think he would scream anything in particular. He would just scream.
If you wrote a songfic about 8 (Octavius), which song would you choose?
I would LOVE to give any answer other than For Your Entertainment. Unfortunately...
No escaping when I start
Once I’m in I own your heart
There’s no way to ring the alarm
So hold on until it’s over
Do you know what you got into
Can you handle what I’m ’bout to do
‘Cause it’s about to get rough for you
I’m here for your entertainment
I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet
You thought an angel swept you off your feet
Well I’m about to turn up the heat
I’m here for your entertainment
...just SCREAMS Octavius. At least, the Octavius I imagine, who is in part a frigid bitch and in part a total slut.
If you wrote a 1(Brutus)/6(Caesar)/12(Cinna) fic, what would the warnings be?
Threesomes, intense sex, everyone else being Caesar's bitch.
What might be a good pick-up line for 2 (Antony) to use on 10 (Lucius)?
I am seriously regretting including Lucius in this list.
Probably any pick-up line would work. I have a feeling Lucius doesn't get a lot of love at home. Only creepy comments about instruments.
When was the last time you read a fic about 5 (Portia)?
Whenever was the last time I read Aspects of the Goddess, the fic I linked above.
What's 6 (Caesar)'s super-secret kink?
Everyone being his bitch Roleplay. He has a thing for power play. Particularly when he's the one with the power. Also, maid's outfits.
Would 11 (Cicero) shag 9 (Calpurnia)? Drunk or sober?
I can kinda see that happening. Maybe if they both got roaring drunk after the Lupercal.
If 3 (Cassius) and 7 (Lepidus) get together, who tops?
I generally think of Cassius as on the bottom, but Lepidus NEVER tops.
"1 (Brutus) and 9 (Calpurnia) are in a happy relationship until 9 (Calpurnia) suddenly runs off with 4 (Casca). 1 (Brutus), broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 (Cicero) and a brief, unhappy affair with 12 (Cinna), then follows the wise advice of 5 (Portia) and finds true love with 3 (Cassius)." What title would you give this fic? Name three people on your friends list who might read it. Name one person who should write it.
"Lead on Our Days to Age". Because, you know, true love! Growing old together! Aww. <3 Pretty much everyone on my flist from unkindestslash would read it, but I'm going to call casablancagirl out on writing it, because she can pull off those kinds of crazy pairings.
PS. This may be my Ides of April prompt next year. Be afraid.
How would you feel if 7(Lepidus)/8(Octavius) was canon?
TOTALLY VINDICATED.
No, seriously. The triumvirate have got it going on. Threesomes, triangles, whatever. It's all good.
Who would make a better college professor: 6 (Caesar) or 11 (Cicero)?
Is this even a question? Cicero.
Do you think 2 (Antony) is hot? How hot?
Brando!Antony is hot, because Brando's hot. 79!Antony is kinda hot. 70!Heston!Antony... gag me. The character is very hot, I just haven't seen him played by someone who's hot in an 'Antony' way, at least not in JC. (Holy shit I would kill a man to see James Purefoy play JC!Antony...)
12 (Cinna) sends 8 (Octavius) on a mission. What is it and does it succeed?
Cinna sends Octavius to... go find out what that poet friend of his has been doing lately.
It ends rather badly.
What would 5 (Portia) most likely be arrested for?
I don't think she'd be arrested for anything, but she's certainly be hospitalized for public self-mutilation.
If you had to walk home through a bad neighborhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 (Lepidus) or 8 (Octavius)?
Eh... Lepidus. I feel like if anything happened, Octavius would just save his own ass. Plus, I kinda like Lepidus.
Suggest a title for a 7(Lepidus)/12(Cinna) hurt/comfort fic.
Out of context, "Ease Ourselves" sounds kinda sweet.
What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 (Casca) to deflower 1 (Brutus)?
The two Ws: wine and wartime.