[FM] December - The Truth.

[dont_needtodie]

Is there something you're scared for others to find out?She stood in front of that mirror for a while, actually feeling her hair dry in the humid air before stepping out into the bedroom. She could hear the television on downstairs, whatever he was watching he was watching it loudly. Padding around the bedroom she dropped the towel and tugged on

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[_complex_guy_]

There was only one thing...well, maybe two things...that could have made the afternoon more pleasant: a cold beer, and Nikki curled up beside him while he watched the new Bourne movie that had just come out on DVD. He blamed Nikki for putting on the first one a couple days before, because when he heard the third one was out, he *had* to see the damn thing after tearing through number two

[dont_needtodie]

Nikki felt her hands clam up a bit and she had to clench them into tight fists to keep herself from shaking as she stood there confronting him with it all. She could see the color drain from his face, and she knew that deep down there was a part of her that had been aching to have that feeling of satisfaction, of course she was supposed to have all of his money in the process of getting bounced all over the world before landing in her sisters account.

That wasn't going on though.

Chewing on her bottom lip for a moment she tried to weigh it all in her mind, as she shifted her weight a bit on her feet and dropped her hands to her sides, letting her palms wipe lightly against her jeans.

"It's mine, I've had it since before I flew to Australia... when I got the job there... Jess... she gave it to me," Nikki watched his features play over the image and then back up to her as she tried to sort out how much to tell him at this very moment.

"She's my sister."

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer felt suddenly cold all over...from toes to scalp, an unnatural chill flooded through his blood and robbed him of all heat. He wanted suddenly to be outside, in the blistering Vegas sun, just so he could get warm again...

"That was yer angle." he realized softly, speaking almost to himself. "I knew you had one...I knew you was up to somethin', I just..."

He hated that he felt pain...that the inside of his chest was throbbing with a raw spot she'd just scrubbed a Brillo pad over with three words that made everything so clear to him...

"How much did you get?" he asked quietly, his voice still flat and practical as he shut his eyes...he couldn't look at her, not now...not when he was so totally screwed. "How much did ya take me for?"

[dont_needtodie]

Just standing there she could feel her heart clenching up in her chest, that muscle turning to rock beneath her chest, weighting her down. Then when he spoke she wasn't even ready for that question, because she had been ready to just leave... but she hadn't left.

Of course he was finally seeing her for her, and maybe that was good. Setting her jaw she folded her arms across her chest, now overly defensive about the entire situation.

"Nothing," Nikki tried to keep her resolve, to keep stoic but the emotion in her was tugging her in all different directions, "I didn't take anything. I'm not going to either."

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer hated himself for wanting to believe her...believe that something in her didn't want to finish the job, but practicality wouldn't let him believe.

"Why?" he asked, the question escaping him without permission from his brain. Something else was driving him, and it was something he didn't want to analyze too closely. He was in a place he hadn't really touched...well, since he met her, and that was a warning flag he should have noticed a hell of a lot sooner.

Before he got to this place...the place where he could possibly get hurt.

"Not like I don't deserve it." he went on, finding a little more control of his remarks again. "'Cause I'll be honest...I knew you were playin' me fer somethin', and now this? Well...y'all just don't seem like the kind to be in it *just* fer the humiliation factor. Didn't ya want just a *little* somethin' fer yer trouble?"

[dont_needtodie]

The words were there, in the back of her throat, but whether or not she could actually admit to it was another thing. Nikki could barely meet his eyes, but still those questions needed to be answered, even if the answers weren't what she wanted to confess. Clearing her throat she started out slow, "I would've gotten something for my trouble. I just... I couldn't do it

[_complex_guy_]

Slowly, Sawyer's fingers curled around the PDA, his gaze lowering to the display as he turned it on and started looking...every account number listed, hers and his...side by side. Everything listed...everything she needed

[dont_needtodie]

The way his gaze seemed to cut right through her forced her to hold that dead stare, because she knew she'd never seen him look at her that way before. This was how he looked at her though, it was what she deserved, what she knew should have been the reaction to what she'd planned on doing.

The PDA felt heavy in her palm as he pressed it back into hers, that rough skin brushing against her fingers for a brief moment, and she couldn't even sort out her own thoughts for a second.

She didn't want to have it in her hands anymore, so she set it down on the coffee table beside her, "I can't... I don't want to."

It still wasn't enough for herself, and she had all the doubts in the world that it wasn't enough for him either. "This? This is what I do. I flirt and angle, and I take whatever I want. I killed a man for diamonds I didn't even get to keep," Nikki hadn't expected to let that slip out, but she figured she had nothing to lose at the moment.

"I saw those names... and I thought, 'Here's my chance to do something right for once..'

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer hated being played for a fool...but what he hated more was the thing she was dangling in front of him at that moment. It was cruel, it was sickening...and it was real

[dont_needtodie]

The words came from him with a hard edge that Nikki could feel as they came from across the room. Standing her ground she didn't move, taking what he had to say to her because in all fairness it was the truth

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer laughed at that...he didn't want to, but he laughed, a short hollow sound that grated even on his ears. "Life? What life? All I got is this." he replied, gesturing between them. "This game, this scam...make the money, spend the money, find another gal with a wad and move on."

He paused for a moment, then moved closer to her, so he could stare down directly into her eyes.

"Before you try t' step back and be the better person...there's somethin' you oughta know." he hissed quietly. "About what I did to yer sister...if I'd done it? If I'd walked away with that money, yer nephew could have lost his momma or his daddy...maybe even both. I could've been responsible fer killin' yer sister...trust me, I've seen it happen."

"That said," he finished, "if you wanna leave? Go...but I ain't kickin' ya outta here, I'll tell ya that right now."

[dont_needtodie]

She nearly flinched at his words, the gesture - the light stab at how little he actually had to call a life mostly because it rang so true for herself. She had lived the same lack of something for so long, only clinging to the lives of others. To her sister and letting that echo through herself, that hollow life making her own empty shell feel less empty

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer said nothing when she tried to defend the situation...he didn't really need to, and he knew it. She'd work through it...but hearing what had happened, knowing he'd still destroyed that family...

But that was done...and she was here.

"I don't want to leave."

His eyes flicked up to hers at the admission, and without his permission his feet moved...put him right there in front of her, close enough to touch.

"I don't want you to leave." It was barely a whisper...another breath, in and out, and there the words were.

And there was no taking it back.