[FM] December - The Truth.

[dont_needtodie]

Is there something you're scared for others to find out?She stood in front of that mirror for a while, actually feeling her hair dry in the humid air before stepping out into the bedroom. She could hear the television on downstairs, whatever he was watching he was watching it loudly. Padding around the bedroom she dropped the towel and tugged on

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[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer hated being played for a fool...but what he hated more was the thing she was dangling in front of him at that moment. It was cruel, it was sickening...and it was real.

Lowering his gaze for a moment, Sawyer sighed as he reached up to rub at his eyes with thumb and index finger in a futile effort to stop them from burning, along with his brain and his chest, which felt like a knot of fire ready to explode...

Turning away, he moved back a few steps, hoping the physical space would make it easier to talk. "Y'know, the other night I was just thinkin' about people...you 'n me, specifically. How it got this far, how we got here...when all we really do is fuck." He paused, stilling as he tried to close himself off to the possibility that was already trying to force itself inside.

And the worst part was that he really couldn't fight it...because he wanted it. With what he knew now...he still wanted it.

"I know why yer here." he went on quietly, shaking his head a little. "I've known since the start, I just didn't have a name for it...and now?"

He turned back around slowly to face her, his eyes stormy as they locked with hers.

"You got more of me in you than you'll ever know, Kitten...and now I know." he finished simply. "And that said...I think I finally know why I'm still here."

[dont_needtodie]

The words came from him with a hard edge that Nikki could feel as they came from across the room. Standing her ground she didn't move, taking what he had to say to her because in all fairness it was the truth.

They started out flirting because she set it up that way. She moved into his lifestyle easily by being exactly what he needed. She was there for him when he wanted a warm body, always being that extra slip of something else for him too, but these past two months it was more natural, and it scared her.

It wasn't her thinking of the end game, it was her thinking of him. Wringing her hands she waited for him to face her again, and when he did she wasn't sure if that was really what she wanted either. That piercing gaze of his almost made her lose that resolve she shore she'd keep through this.

"Well I'm glad you do, because I sure as hell don't, I-" Nikki paused rubbing her hands against her jeans before starting again, "I was going to leave, my stuff's all packed... I was walking out the door and I would've left the information behind, but I couldn't even do that right."

It was at that point that Nikki realized she didn't want to leave, but also she figured she should still go, "Look... I'm not going to do anything with the information... I should- I should just let you go- back to your life. I just didn't want to walk out with a lie."

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer laughed at that...he didn't want to, but he laughed, a short hollow sound that grated even on his ears. "Life? What life? All I got is this." he replied, gesturing between them. "This game, this scam...make the money, spend the money, find another gal with a wad and move on."

He paused for a moment, then moved closer to her, so he could stare down directly into her eyes.

"Before you try t' step back and be the better person...there's somethin' you oughta know." he hissed quietly. "About what I did to yer sister...if I'd done it? If I'd walked away with that money, yer nephew could have lost his momma or his daddy...maybe even both. I could've been responsible fer killin' yer sister...trust me, I've seen it happen."

"That said," he finished, "if you wanna leave? Go...but I ain't kickin' ya outta here, I'll tell ya that right now."

[dont_needtodie]

She nearly flinched at his words, the gesture - the light stab at how little he actually had to call a life mostly because it rang so true for herself. She had lived the same lack of something for so long, only clinging to the lives of others. To her sister and letting that echo through herself, that hollow life making her own empty shell feel less empty.

When he moved toward her she wanted to back away, to put that distance between them again but glancing up at him she knew she couldn't pull away. Just like she couldn't just walk out that door and leave him without making her own plea to let it be okay.

Shaking her head she refused the notion that anyone would've died, "No... David... he found out what had been going on. The affair, the deal, he took everything from her. He took her son, and left her with the blame for what she'd done. She died no matter if she's still living today or not, because she's just..."

Nikki didn't want to talk about her sister, she didn't want to talk about that driving motivation she had all those years to make this guy pay... because now 'this guy' was right in front of her and she couldn't look away from him.

Changing gears abruptly in the middle of her thoughts she confessed, "I don't want to leave."

[_complex_guy_]

Sawyer said nothing when she tried to defend the situation...he didn't really need to, and he knew it. She'd work through it...but hearing what had happened, knowing he'd still destroyed that family...

But that was done...and she was here.

"I don't want to leave."

His eyes flicked up to hers at the admission, and without his permission his feet moved...put him right there in front of her, close enough to touch.

"I don't want you to leave." It was barely a whisper...another breath, in and out, and there the words were.

And there was no taking it back.