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May 08, 2011 22:40

I have no idea what im doing here. I cant think. I want to scream and shout ( Read more... )

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Comments 8

my_path May 8 2011, 23:54:55 UTC
I know what it's like to want to self harm and be worried about hiding it from your boyfriend. I hope the mood passes and you feel better

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littleravenhome May 9 2011, 18:26:45 UTC
Thank you. Life is.. less crap today.

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littleravenhome May 9 2011, 18:28:12 UTC
Thank you. I'm not really on LJ all that much, mostly just use it every now and again. This has helped- just getting it off my chest helped but everyones been really nice.. that's helped too So thank you!

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littleravenhome May 9 2011, 18:31:24 UTC
People have been really nice. I told my best friend a few years back and her comment was 'so are you going to kill youself then?'. This has been much better. I talk all the time- just never say anything important. I normal talk for 3 hours about random crap and then have a massive breakdown (tears and tantrums) at 2am- drives my husband up the bend. It's easier on here- no RL issues. Thank you, it's nice to know it's not just me.

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moriahmoriah May 9 2011, 11:33:58 UTC
This is definitely a good place.

The things you're feeling...most of us have felt them at one time or another to varying degrees. While I can't tell you it's "normal", I can tell you it's not uncommon.

I totally understand where you're coming from. Come from what appears like a good background, have no visible reason to feel the way you do, but you can't help it. It's good you came here. I hope you didn't cut, there are other ways to cope, definitely.

I know the image is very important. Can you see a therapist or do you feel like that is out of the question?

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littleravenhome May 9 2011, 18:36:04 UTC
Thank you. I.. Im not going to say I didn't, but it was less severe than in the past. I count that as improvement. Its a feeback loop for me as well- I feel depressed, I cut, I feel guilty, makes me depressed, I cut..etc.

I went to my doctor who said a physc would do no good as I don't have a specific cause (wasnt abused as a child, no traumatic event). They put me on a behavioural course over the comp but it did no good. Or atleast, I dont think it did.

Thank you for your kind words. I know its not 'normal' but ... it's good knowing it's not just me.

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victoriapaine May 11 2011, 13:42:29 UTC
wow..Ash you are not alone. im going through the same things. sometimes i dont even want to wake up in the morning. i have noone to talk to. ive been cutting for years but everyone thinks im ok...i could use someone to talk to..so if u would like to talk im here.

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littleravenhome May 11 2011, 20:04:08 UTC
Everyone thinks I'm fine too- my husband knows some of it, but i feel i can't talk to him about it all.. like i dont want to tar him with it if that makes sense. I know what you mean about not wanting to wake up- sometimes i go to sleep wishing that i just wont wake up. Talking is hard and not something i've ever really done before but I'm trying to now.. I've added you as a friend, feel free to msg me if you need someone to talk to.

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