hmmm
i dont know what to say. things have changed so much since i last updated. ahhh. im at peace. calmed. idk. i hate that im hurting the ones i love but at the same time this is something i need to do. i know no one understands that. its just something that i have to do. wait i said that already. lol. laughter. its weird not being there with you. i hate im hurting you. you're like my best friend. you will always be my little my sister. i just hope one day this will make sense to you. i dont think you hate me but i know you're mad. i can feel it. but i understand. even though this isnt the biggest shock. i know its still probley one of the biggest blows. im sorry you have gotten caught up in this. i know one day we will have more fun. til that day comes i hope you know. i love you and always will. in my heart i know this is the right thing for me. i want to change for the better. i want the life of my dreams. i know i have to work hard and im finally ready. yeah i have lots to figure out but i have the plans to make this shit happen. im not letting anything stand in my way. not even my low self esteem can stop me now. im willing to figure out