that's the way it is [ujin/suzy; obseve]
title: that's the way it is
rated: for slight language
fandom/pairing: rpf ~university au~; jung yoojin/bae suzy
spoilers/warnings: n/a
summary: suzy's a firecracker and yoojin has never been good at being a rebel
words: 1260
disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters because they're actually real people and this is gross; title is from the spice girls' song wannabe
a/n: prompt #80: observe idk what this pairing is i just like both of them ok also love alone + alone are great tracks
"are you lonely?" suzy asks. yoojin knows of zhim but doesn't really know zhim. mostly yoojin just knows that suzy is the one that scared all the straight members out of what was formerly the school's gsa. (now it's a queer alliance.) but yoojin definitely doesn't know suzy in the way that they talk to one another like this. or like anything. they don't talk, ever. and not just because yoojin is a senior and suzy is a cute, sunny-faced freshman that's kind of too cute to be not-so-sunny-faced.
yoojin frowns from the light of suzy's sunny freshman face peering at zhim in so much weird curiosity. like yoojin is someone zhe's studying for zher women's studies course. actually, yoojin might be someone suzy's studying for zher women's studies course, so yoojin treads carefully in zher answer.
"um, no, not especially," zhe says, throwing in a wave of zher hand towards the rest of zher table (littered with the remnants of zher stupid lazy inconsiderate friends' lunches. zhe makes the mental note to slap the lot of them later for being dicks) like suzy can still see the ghostly outline of wooram's hoodie, can still hear the jangle of soojin's chains, can still choke on the lingering scent of zico's excessively manly bodyspray.
suzy raises an eyebrow like yoojin is exactly proving zher point, and maybe okay yeah, that yoojin is sitting at a table full of garbage doesn't really look like it means anything, with regard to the 'having friends' matter. but yoojin does have friends, so zhe's okay.
"i'm - no, i mean, i'm okay," zhe says, with an embarrassed laugh because it sort of slips out. suzy makes yoojin kind of nervous, in a way that girls like zhim always do, but haven't really in a few years. (that was always the best part of the gsa: the exposure to cute queer girls whose existences intimidate yoojin . suzy kind of fucked that up. yoojin can't just be supportive anymore, because being supportive looks like being a lesbian and zhe's not in the closet but that doesn't mean zhe's about to plaster it on zher forehead.)
"i'm not asking about," suzy pauses, quirking an eyebrow. it's not just zher general existence that's intimidating, it's every single cell of zher body. yoojin guesses, anyway. "your friends."
when suzy says it, the term sounds like a stretch. maybe yoojin could use for some - revamping, in zher social scene. a freshman, a junior, and a grad student who needs to not hang around campus so much (i'm getting my master's, okay wooram insists almost every day, usually through a mouthful of food; just move on with your life, okay zico always mimics, even though zhe doesn't mean it and zhe'd miss ram if zhe actually did get on with zher life), do not a popular social circle make. and more importantly, they can be really obnoxious when they want to be. which is almost all the time, because they're assholes.
yoojin's brow furrows because whether they're assholes or not, though, is irrelevant. because they're zher friends, and zhe has those (friends), so zhe doesn't really need to be lonely, as zhe figures it.
"then what are you asking about?" zhe asks, resisting the urge to fiddle with the lump of glue on zher juicebox that was securing zher straw. suzy's gaze doesn't flicker or waver and yoojin's pretty sure zhe's not even blinking (until zhe does).
suzy sighs a little, but it might just be a loud exhalation. "i mean," zhe says pointedly. "i noticed that you stopped turning up for meetings. and amber says that's my fault."
yoojin blinks (zhe didn't know amber noticed zher existence; amber's wildly popular with everyone, not just the junior girls that logic dictates zhe should appeal to most of all), and then looks away. quickly. yoojin thought zhe was a little more in the closet than that.
"oh," zhe chokes out, and then clears zher throat. "oh," zhe repeats. "yeah, no, i've just been - busy. and stuff. thesis. uh, dating. yeah."
none of it sounds convincing. suzy's expression is thus, unconvinced. yoojin stands up and pretends that packing up zher trash is the most important thing zhe's ever going to do. (when obviously, it's not, because zhe's not even bothering to separate it for the recycling. cute intimidating sunny-faced girls like suzy bae are probably the reason for global warming, yoojin thinks, but zhe's also not an environmental science major.) even despite that, suzy is still watching yoojin. yoojin's hands definitely don't shake because of it, but zhe does miss the dip of zher shoulder where the strap of zher bag usually fits so well.
to zher credit, suzy doesn't even need to stifle a laugh when yoojin goes to sling zher backpack on for a second attempt. zher expression is still stoic and assessing. it's a little bit more uncomfortable than attractive, but an actual little bit.
"we should hang out," suzy says eventually, as yoojin's fighting with zhimself to actually say bye instead of just uncomfortably standing there saying nothing.
"what?" yoojin replies intelligently, because yoojin is an intelligent girl.
for the first time that yoojin's ever seen zhim, zhe thinks (not that zhe sees suzy a lot, because queer alliance was just about it, and afterwards...), suzy smiles. it's a sweet, pretty little smile, that has the corners of zher pretty bow-shaped lips curving into a graceful little heart shape. yoojin's knees don't necessarily go weak, but zher heart might miss a beat or two or twelve. zhe feels legally dead for about fifteen seconds.
"the two of us," suzy clarifies, like the who and not the what was the part yoojin needed clarification on. "we should hang out some time. get coffee, or see one of the movies the film club finally got permission to play in the quad."
"the film club still exists?" yoojin asks, and suzy just nods. a sweet, cute little nod. yoojin's knees do go a little weak, this time. "guess you're not a part of it," zhe means to just think, but zhe ends up murmuring it in an out-loud kind of way and suzy blushes. yoojin has half of an apology gasped out when suzy's hand is darting out to take zhers.
"i really am sorry," suzy says, and it feels like yoojin's line but it sounds right when suzy says it too. "sometimes i get really intense about my identification, and the way that i feel about it, that i forget...not everyone feels the same way about theirs."
yoojin is ninety-nine percent sure this is the same speech that zher lowkey lesbian mentor gave zhim back in high school. back when yoojin was just a freshman who was only just brave enough to approach the lesbian that everyone knew from the soccer team. the one who, upon request for clarification, said i'm a dyke, babe and read yoojin's startled [affronted] look in a second. the one who responded with a monologue about reappropriation and empowerment and culture that definitely lasted more than a second, and was definitely more hardcore than the way that suzy's sounds.
then again, zinni hadn't been holding yoojin's hand the way that suzy is. yoojin's hand feels clammy and zhe's really embarrassed but convinces zhimself that suzy probably can't tell.
suzy can probably tell, but zhe's still smiling.
"it's okay," yoojin says, and zhe doesn't say i'm not actually gay but zhe is except zhe also doesn't say i'm a lesbian even if zhe probably could.
it's okay that way.
rated: for slight language
fandom/pairing: rpf ~university au~; jung yoojin/bae suzy
spoilers/warnings: n/a
summary: suzy's a firecracker and yoojin has never been good at being a rebel
words: 1260
disclaimer: i do not own any of these characters because they're actually real people and this is gross; title is from the spice girls' song wannabe
a/n: prompt #80: observe idk what this pairing is i just like both of them ok also love alone + alone are great tracks
"are you lonely?" suzy asks. yoojin knows of zhim but doesn't really know zhim. mostly yoojin just knows that suzy is the one that scared all the straight members out of what was formerly the school's gsa. (now it's a queer alliance.) but yoojin definitely doesn't know suzy in the way that they talk to one another like this. or like anything. they don't talk, ever. and not just because yoojin is a senior and suzy is a cute, sunny-faced freshman that's kind of too cute to be not-so-sunny-faced.
yoojin frowns from the light of suzy's sunny freshman face peering at zhim in so much weird curiosity. like yoojin is someone zhe's studying for zher women's studies course. actually, yoojin might be someone suzy's studying for zher women's studies course, so yoojin treads carefully in zher answer.
"um, no, not especially," zhe says, throwing in a wave of zher hand towards the rest of zher table (littered with the remnants of zher stupid lazy inconsiderate friends' lunches. zhe makes the mental note to slap the lot of them later for being dicks) like suzy can still see the ghostly outline of wooram's hoodie, can still hear the jangle of soojin's chains, can still choke on the lingering scent of zico's excessively manly bodyspray.
suzy raises an eyebrow like yoojin is exactly proving zher point, and maybe okay yeah, that yoojin is sitting at a table full of garbage doesn't really look like it means anything, with regard to the 'having friends' matter. but yoojin does have friends, so zhe's okay.
"i'm - no, i mean, i'm okay," zhe says, with an embarrassed laugh because it sort of slips out. suzy makes yoojin kind of nervous, in a way that girls like zhim always do, but haven't really in a few years. (that was always the best part of the gsa: the exposure to cute queer girls whose existences intimidate yoojin . suzy kind of fucked that up. yoojin can't just be supportive anymore, because being supportive looks like being a lesbian and zhe's not in the closet but that doesn't mean zhe's about to plaster it on zher forehead.)
"i'm not asking about," suzy pauses, quirking an eyebrow. it's not just zher general existence that's intimidating, it's every single cell of zher body. yoojin guesses, anyway. "your friends."
when suzy says it, the term sounds like a stretch. maybe yoojin could use for some - revamping, in zher social scene. a freshman, a junior, and a grad student who needs to not hang around campus so much (i'm getting my master's, okay wooram insists almost every day, usually through a mouthful of food; just move on with your life, okay zico always mimics, even though zhe doesn't mean it and zhe'd miss ram if zhe actually did get on with zher life), do not a popular social circle make. and more importantly, they can be really obnoxious when they want to be. which is almost all the time, because they're assholes.
yoojin's brow furrows because whether they're assholes or not, though, is irrelevant. because they're zher friends, and zhe has those (friends), so zhe doesn't really need to be lonely, as zhe figures it.
"then what are you asking about?" zhe asks, resisting the urge to fiddle with the lump of glue on zher juicebox that was securing zher straw. suzy's gaze doesn't flicker or waver and yoojin's pretty sure zhe's not even blinking (until zhe does).
suzy sighs a little, but it might just be a loud exhalation. "i mean," zhe says pointedly. "i noticed that you stopped turning up for meetings. and amber says that's my fault."
yoojin blinks (zhe didn't know amber noticed zher existence; amber's wildly popular with everyone, not just the junior girls that logic dictates zhe should appeal to most of all), and then looks away. quickly. yoojin thought zhe was a little more in the closet than that.
"oh," zhe chokes out, and then clears zher throat. "oh," zhe repeats. "yeah, no, i've just been - busy. and stuff. thesis. uh, dating. yeah."
none of it sounds convincing. suzy's expression is thus, unconvinced. yoojin stands up and pretends that packing up zher trash is the most important thing zhe's ever going to do. (when obviously, it's not, because zhe's not even bothering to separate it for the recycling. cute intimidating sunny-faced girls like suzy bae are probably the reason for global warming, yoojin thinks, but zhe's also not an environmental science major.) even despite that, suzy is still watching yoojin. yoojin's hands definitely don't shake because of it, but zhe does miss the dip of zher shoulder where the strap of zher bag usually fits so well.
to zher credit, suzy doesn't even need to stifle a laugh when yoojin goes to sling zher backpack on for a second attempt. zher expression is still stoic and assessing. it's a little bit more uncomfortable than attractive, but an actual little bit.
"we should hang out," suzy says eventually, as yoojin's fighting with zhimself to actually say bye instead of just uncomfortably standing there saying nothing.
"what?" yoojin replies intelligently, because yoojin is an intelligent girl.
for the first time that yoojin's ever seen zhim, zhe thinks (not that zhe sees suzy a lot, because queer alliance was just about it, and afterwards...), suzy smiles. it's a sweet, pretty little smile, that has the corners of zher pretty bow-shaped lips curving into a graceful little heart shape. yoojin's knees don't necessarily go weak, but zher heart might miss a beat or two or twelve. zhe feels legally dead for about fifteen seconds.
"the two of us," suzy clarifies, like the who and not the what was the part yoojin needed clarification on. "we should hang out some time. get coffee, or see one of the movies the film club finally got permission to play in the quad."
"the film club still exists?" yoojin asks, and suzy just nods. a sweet, cute little nod. yoojin's knees do go a little weak, this time. "guess you're not a part of it," zhe means to just think, but zhe ends up murmuring it in an out-loud kind of way and suzy blushes. yoojin has half of an apology gasped out when suzy's hand is darting out to take zhers.
"i really am sorry," suzy says, and it feels like yoojin's line but it sounds right when suzy says it too. "sometimes i get really intense about my identification, and the way that i feel about it, that i forget...not everyone feels the same way about theirs."
yoojin is ninety-nine percent sure this is the same speech that zher lowkey lesbian mentor gave zhim back in high school. back when yoojin was just a freshman who was only just brave enough to approach the lesbian that everyone knew from the soccer team. the one who, upon request for clarification, said i'm a dyke, babe and read yoojin's startled [affronted] look in a second. the one who responded with a monologue about reappropriation and empowerment and culture that definitely lasted more than a second, and was definitely more hardcore than the way that suzy's sounds.
then again, zinni hadn't been holding yoojin's hand the way that suzy is. yoojin's hand feels clammy and zhe's really embarrassed but convinces zhimself that suzy probably can't tell.
suzy can probably tell, but zhe's still smiling.
"it's okay," yoojin says, and zhe doesn't say i'm not actually gay but zhe is except zhe also doesn't say i'm a lesbian even if zhe probably could.
it's okay that way.