and you should know that [ram/eunjung]
title: and you should know that
rated: for innocents
fandom/pairing: rpf; jeon wooram/ham eunjung feat. wooram/boram sisterliness and sneaky boram/qri
spoilers/warnings: messy nonlinear timing
summary: wooram's ambitious, and boram is zher sister. eunjung doesn't fit into the scene.
words: 1866
disclaimer: this is a work of fiction thus none of this is real shit. title is from carly rae jepson's call me maybe as covered by tiffany
a/n: prompt #94: establish yeah i've wanted to write something with ram&eunjung for a while but i struggle with t-ara members a lot. also i think i may have lost track of my own ~character motivations~ at some point but it's w/e i might revisit it someday
"i'm not ashamed of you," wooram says softly, because eunjung only believes zhim when zhe's being gentle like that.
eunjung doesn't look up from where zher fingers are pulling out the knots in a long, sparsely-beaded necklace. "i know," zhe says, but eunjung lies when zhe thinks it makes more sense to.
wooram sighs. zhe almost says no you don't, but doesn't when zhe realizes it might sound more like an accusation. that would have been the point of saying it at all, zhe thinks, but the timing feels wrong so zhe stays quiet for a second longer, then sighs again. it's more like an extended exhale. eunjung still doesn't look up.
"you know how unnie is," wooram reasons, but zhe's said it all before and now it's just to fill the time when eunjung is upset until eunjung is content.
eunjung hums. "i know," zhe repeats, because zhe does but probably more because this is a familiar script to zhim. i love you wooram says next, and eunjung hesitates before zhe says i know and this time, it's softer. wooram smiles a little and eunjung sets zher distraction to the side and wooram's lips are chapped so eunjung will tease zhim about it and they're okay again. it fades to black.
....
boram hasn't spent a lot of time with the family for a long time. wooram doesn't blame zhim, and neither does anyone else. a show family - they get it. zhe has more important things to do.
but wooram still likes it best when boram is around, because zhe's wooram's unnie (even if zhe's cuter and shorter), and sometimes wooram just needs zhim. somehow, that part gets easier after wooram debuts, because d-unit may not be big, but at least they're active.
"unnie," zhe coos, arms wrapped tight around zher sister's middle and chin resting on zher shoulder. boram giggles the way that zhe does when people are around and zhe wants to look like the Best Big Sister Ever, but wooram doesn't mind.
"wooram," boram says in that playful voice, and wooram smiles and pretends zhe doesn't know boram will be vaguely annoyed with zhim later. qri glances over at them and wooram sees zhim smile a real, proper smile filled with affection and maybe something else that boram will never see because zhe wants it too much.
wooram is an outsider observer, though, so zhe sees, and zhe nods zher head a little at zher sunbae. qri blinks like zhe lost zhimself in wanting it too much, too, and then smiles a polite smile.
unnie wooram admonishes in zher head but doesn't say. zhe thinks zhe understands the business but zhe really doesn't. not yet.
....
wooram forgets the first time zhe meets eunjung, but zhe can tell from the way that eunjung treats zhim, eunjung remembers the first time zhe met wooram.
just as respectfully as zhe was taught, wooram goes through the motions. bow ninety-degrees, ask sunbaenim to please take care of you, and try not to make eye contact (because wooram's been told zhe has a steely gaze).
eunjung looks at zhim - only at zher face; doesn't look zhim over - with kind eyes, and wooram thinks that zhe seems pleasant enough but it's not a memorable kind of pleasant. zhe has so many other people to meet in zher career, and eunjung isn't a milestone to bear in mind.
but for eunjung, wooram is different. because zhe looks like boram, but not especially. because zhe's styled harder, with a bright blond pontail high on zher head and dark eyes and adorned with leather and metals. zhe's eunjung's unnie, technically, and there's no mistaking the fact that wooram remembers that. there's no envy in zher eyes, but there's a fierce determination to become the best.
eunjung isn't intimidated, so much as zhe is intrigued. maybe inspired. and even after zhe gets to know wooram, in the sleepy moments when zhe's exhausted from rehearsals but isn't about to admit it (so instead zhe sits straight and focuses intently) and the lazy moments when zhe has a day off and spends it curled into the sofa with a monster movie on television, eunjung keeps the images separate.
wooram is a gentle person, but wooram is also competitive, and zhe works hard. no matter where eunjung falls on the list of zher priorities, zhe's always behind wooram's career.
it's not a problem until eunjung's own priorities are displaced.
....
"unnie," wooram says, when they find a moment alone. boram blinks at zhim and then zher eyes narrow slightly. zhe folds zher hands in zher lap and wooram realizes zhe really should have known this was a trap. sororal bonding is not what boram does.
"are you going to say it?" boram asks, voice somewhere between sisterly sternness and sisterly sympathy. emphasis on the former, because boram is an overacting kind of gal.
wooram groans and then collapses face-first onto boram's bed. boram's foot nudges at wooram's ribs, but it's not an encouragement for zhim to move.
if you knew all along, why didn't you say anything wooram mumbles, but boram conveniently can't make it out, so wooram glowers into the comforter and turns zher head to continue. "i like eunjung, unnie," wooram says, and it's not the first time zhe's said it, but it always feel significant when zhe does.
boram sighs before zhe can think to hesitate. it's a family habit, that wooram usually likes to see peek out. but this time boram is sighing because damn it, wooram and even if zhe'll never say it like that, that's the way zhe's thinking about it. it's fair but wooram acts like it's not anyway.
"wooram," boram says quietly. it's not zher usual 'advice-giving' tone of voice. it's almost apologetic. wooram feels a flood of tears that zhe hasn't for a long time.
zhe shakes zher head like that's going to change anything.
"unnie," wooram says, desperate like zhe doesn't always show with anyone but boram. "zhe's really important to me, and i won't --"
"wooram," boram says, and zher voice is a hush. "you can't."
wooram isn't a kid, so zhe can think for zhimself. zhe knows zhe doesn't have to do what zher unnie says, and zhe knows that zhe can trust zhimself to be careful and not ruin zher own (and eunjung's) career. but wooram isn't a kid, so zhe knows that boram is right. zhe has to make a mature decision.
that doesn't mean zhe can't cry about it, though. boram strokes wooram's hair when zhe does. it almost feels better.
....
wooram says it first. zhe knows zhe's not the first one to feel it. zhe knows eunjung never said it just because zhe didn't want to put pressure on wooram, or something similarly stupid (but well-intentioned).
but wooram does say it. first. "we can't do this anymore." when zhe says it out loud, it sounds less like a question than when zhe thinks about it. zhe still wants eunjung to say yes or no or whatever zhe needs to say to disagree.
eunjung doesn't look up from painting zher toenails a springy green shade. "no, we really can't," zhe says, and zhe's right, they're both right, boram is right, but when eunjung says it it feels like a lie.
wooram isn't choked up anymore, but it still hurts when the silence between them is harsh and expectant, like there's anything more to say. and there are lots of other things that they could - wooram could say zhe's sorry, could say that none of this means zhe doesn't love eunjung, wants to say that zhe didn't mean it because zhe didn't. zhe really, really didn't.
and zhe thinks about saying all of it, only to decide against it. wooram sighs and eunjung doesn't look up.
"you're really important to me, eunjung," wooram says as zhe unfolds zher legs from under zhimself to stand up
eunjung lets a beat pass before zhe murmurs, "you're really important to me, too, unnie," and the stage directions guide wooram out of the room. the curtain falls closed behind zhim.
....
"i haven't said anything to boram-unnie yet," eunjung says quietly, zher eyes trained on wooram's face because zhe never knows what to expect.
wooram stiffens a little, and zhe avoids eunjung's gaze. maybe eunjung just doesn't know what zhe wants to expect from wooram.
"i haven't either," wooram admits, and zhe sounds guilty. eunjung feels ashamed for zhim; feels like zhe's not worth mentioning and knows that's not it, but zhe feels it anyway and doesn't know how to fix it.
they're both quiet for a few moments or possibly minutes. wooram is the first one to speak up again, like zhe has something to validate zhimself or justify zher reluctance. like zhe has something to say that will make eunjung feel better about where they stand together.
"i like you a lot, eunjung," wooram says, and wooram is always straightforward and clear with everyone, so eunjung believes zhim even if it's a little hard. wooram pauses, like zhe anticipated the need for an extra moment. eunjung wonders if zhe did. "i love unnie, too."
it's not but and it's not except, but it feels like a choice anyway.
eunjung nods and understands and accepts that, but zhe's surprised, somehow. zhe thinks zhe thought zhe was ahead of boram, for some reason - because zhe's happy when zhe's around wooram the way that boram isn't, maybe. it could be that that's exactly the reason why zhe's not.
....
boram is the one that approaches eunjung. zher head is lowered, apologetically, and zhe won't look eunjung in the eye. maybe it's a family thing, eunjung supposes as zhe tries to not feel too particularly bitter.
"unnie," eunjung greets, going for surprise but ending up with bitterness and hesitance anyway. zhe winces and boram swallows hard before saying anything.
"i think," boram says carefully, each word deliberate and professional, but not quite professional enough. eunjung crosses zher arms lightly over zher chest. it's not intentionally defensive but at the same time, it really is. "i should apologize. i feel like i should, anyway," boram corrects, with a shake of zher head and a tight-lipped expression.
eunjung doesn't frown. eunjung stares. "okay," zhe says slowly, nodding. it's unhelpful and zhe knows it, but zhe's not about to apologize right now, too.
boram takes a deep breath and then clasps zher hands together in front of zhim. zhe doesn't say zhe's sorry, though, and eunjung realizes after a few moments that it's because boram doesn't intend to.
"we have to be careful," boram says instead. "we can't just do what we want because we want to... because it makes us happy. and i know that you make wooram really happy, but zhe's still my little sister, and you're still my unnie. i want to watch out for you two." the i want to protect you is implicit and eunjung hears it loud and clear for the first time.
"oh," zhe says, and it sounds flat but eunjung means oh and i hate this and you mean it.
boram sighs quietly. "oh," zhe repeats. eunjung gets it.
rated: for innocents
fandom/pairing: rpf; jeon wooram/ham eunjung feat. wooram/boram sisterliness and sneaky boram/qri
spoilers/warnings: messy nonlinear timing
summary: wooram's ambitious, and boram is zher sister. eunjung doesn't fit into the scene.
words: 1866
disclaimer: this is a work of fiction thus none of this is real shit. title is from carly rae jepson's call me maybe as covered by tiffany
a/n: prompt #94: establish yeah i've wanted to write something with ram&eunjung for a while but i struggle with t-ara members a lot. also i think i may have lost track of my own ~character motivations~ at some point but it's w/e i might revisit it someday
"i'm not ashamed of you," wooram says softly, because eunjung only believes zhim when zhe's being gentle like that.
eunjung doesn't look up from where zher fingers are pulling out the knots in a long, sparsely-beaded necklace. "i know," zhe says, but eunjung lies when zhe thinks it makes more sense to.
wooram sighs. zhe almost says no you don't, but doesn't when zhe realizes it might sound more like an accusation. that would have been the point of saying it at all, zhe thinks, but the timing feels wrong so zhe stays quiet for a second longer, then sighs again. it's more like an extended exhale. eunjung still doesn't look up.
"you know how unnie is," wooram reasons, but zhe's said it all before and now it's just to fill the time when eunjung is upset until eunjung is content.
eunjung hums. "i know," zhe repeats, because zhe does but probably more because this is a familiar script to zhim. i love you wooram says next, and eunjung hesitates before zhe says i know and this time, it's softer. wooram smiles a little and eunjung sets zher distraction to the side and wooram's lips are chapped so eunjung will tease zhim about it and they're okay again. it fades to black.
....
boram hasn't spent a lot of time with the family for a long time. wooram doesn't blame zhim, and neither does anyone else. a show family - they get it. zhe has more important things to do.
but wooram still likes it best when boram is around, because zhe's wooram's unnie (even if zhe's cuter and shorter), and sometimes wooram just needs zhim. somehow, that part gets easier after wooram debuts, because d-unit may not be big, but at least they're active.
"unnie," zhe coos, arms wrapped tight around zher sister's middle and chin resting on zher shoulder. boram giggles the way that zhe does when people are around and zhe wants to look like the Best Big Sister Ever, but wooram doesn't mind.
"wooram," boram says in that playful voice, and wooram smiles and pretends zhe doesn't know boram will be vaguely annoyed with zhim later. qri glances over at them and wooram sees zhim smile a real, proper smile filled with affection and maybe something else that boram will never see because zhe wants it too much.
wooram is an outsider observer, though, so zhe sees, and zhe nods zher head a little at zher sunbae. qri blinks like zhe lost zhimself in wanting it too much, too, and then smiles a polite smile.
unnie wooram admonishes in zher head but doesn't say. zhe thinks zhe understands the business but zhe really doesn't. not yet.
....
wooram forgets the first time zhe meets eunjung, but zhe can tell from the way that eunjung treats zhim, eunjung remembers the first time zhe met wooram.
just as respectfully as zhe was taught, wooram goes through the motions. bow ninety-degrees, ask sunbaenim to please take care of you, and try not to make eye contact (because wooram's been told zhe has a steely gaze).
eunjung looks at zhim - only at zher face; doesn't look zhim over - with kind eyes, and wooram thinks that zhe seems pleasant enough but it's not a memorable kind of pleasant. zhe has so many other people to meet in zher career, and eunjung isn't a milestone to bear in mind.
but for eunjung, wooram is different. because zhe looks like boram, but not especially. because zhe's styled harder, with a bright blond pontail high on zher head and dark eyes and adorned with leather and metals. zhe's eunjung's unnie, technically, and there's no mistaking the fact that wooram remembers that. there's no envy in zher eyes, but there's a fierce determination to become the best.
eunjung isn't intimidated, so much as zhe is intrigued. maybe inspired. and even after zhe gets to know wooram, in the sleepy moments when zhe's exhausted from rehearsals but isn't about to admit it (so instead zhe sits straight and focuses intently) and the lazy moments when zhe has a day off and spends it curled into the sofa with a monster movie on television, eunjung keeps the images separate.
wooram is a gentle person, but wooram is also competitive, and zhe works hard. no matter where eunjung falls on the list of zher priorities, zhe's always behind wooram's career.
it's not a problem until eunjung's own priorities are displaced.
....
"unnie," wooram says, when they find a moment alone. boram blinks at zhim and then zher eyes narrow slightly. zhe folds zher hands in zher lap and wooram realizes zhe really should have known this was a trap. sororal bonding is not what boram does.
"are you going to say it?" boram asks, voice somewhere between sisterly sternness and sisterly sympathy. emphasis on the former, because boram is an overacting kind of gal.
wooram groans and then collapses face-first onto boram's bed. boram's foot nudges at wooram's ribs, but it's not an encouragement for zhim to move.
if you knew all along, why didn't you say anything wooram mumbles, but boram conveniently can't make it out, so wooram glowers into the comforter and turns zher head to continue. "i like eunjung, unnie," wooram says, and it's not the first time zhe's said it, but it always feel significant when zhe does.
boram sighs before zhe can think to hesitate. it's a family habit, that wooram usually likes to see peek out. but this time boram is sighing because damn it, wooram and even if zhe'll never say it like that, that's the way zhe's thinking about it. it's fair but wooram acts like it's not anyway.
"wooram," boram says quietly. it's not zher usual 'advice-giving' tone of voice. it's almost apologetic. wooram feels a flood of tears that zhe hasn't for a long time.
zhe shakes zher head like that's going to change anything.
"unnie," wooram says, desperate like zhe doesn't always show with anyone but boram. "zhe's really important to me, and i won't --"
"wooram," boram says, and zher voice is a hush. "you can't."
wooram isn't a kid, so zhe can think for zhimself. zhe knows zhe doesn't have to do what zher unnie says, and zhe knows that zhe can trust zhimself to be careful and not ruin zher own (and eunjung's) career. but wooram isn't a kid, so zhe knows that boram is right. zhe has to make a mature decision.
that doesn't mean zhe can't cry about it, though. boram strokes wooram's hair when zhe does. it almost feels better.
....
wooram says it first. zhe knows zhe's not the first one to feel it. zhe knows eunjung never said it just because zhe didn't want to put pressure on wooram, or something similarly stupid (but well-intentioned).
but wooram does say it. first. "we can't do this anymore." when zhe says it out loud, it sounds less like a question than when zhe thinks about it. zhe still wants eunjung to say yes or no or whatever zhe needs to say to disagree.
eunjung doesn't look up from painting zher toenails a springy green shade. "no, we really can't," zhe says, and zhe's right, they're both right, boram is right, but when eunjung says it it feels like a lie.
wooram isn't choked up anymore, but it still hurts when the silence between them is harsh and expectant, like there's anything more to say. and there are lots of other things that they could - wooram could say zhe's sorry, could say that none of this means zhe doesn't love eunjung, wants to say that zhe didn't mean it because zhe didn't. zhe really, really didn't.
and zhe thinks about saying all of it, only to decide against it. wooram sighs and eunjung doesn't look up.
"you're really important to me, eunjung," wooram says as zhe unfolds zher legs from under zhimself to stand up
eunjung lets a beat pass before zhe murmurs, "you're really important to me, too, unnie," and the stage directions guide wooram out of the room. the curtain falls closed behind zhim.
....
"i haven't said anything to boram-unnie yet," eunjung says quietly, zher eyes trained on wooram's face because zhe never knows what to expect.
wooram stiffens a little, and zhe avoids eunjung's gaze. maybe eunjung just doesn't know what zhe wants to expect from wooram.
"i haven't either," wooram admits, and zhe sounds guilty. eunjung feels ashamed for zhim; feels like zhe's not worth mentioning and knows that's not it, but zhe feels it anyway and doesn't know how to fix it.
they're both quiet for a few moments or possibly minutes. wooram is the first one to speak up again, like zhe has something to validate zhimself or justify zher reluctance. like zhe has something to say that will make eunjung feel better about where they stand together.
"i like you a lot, eunjung," wooram says, and wooram is always straightforward and clear with everyone, so eunjung believes zhim even if it's a little hard. wooram pauses, like zhe anticipated the need for an extra moment. eunjung wonders if zhe did. "i love unnie, too."
it's not but and it's not except, but it feels like a choice anyway.
eunjung nods and understands and accepts that, but zhe's surprised, somehow. zhe thinks zhe thought zhe was ahead of boram, for some reason - because zhe's happy when zhe's around wooram the way that boram isn't, maybe. it could be that that's exactly the reason why zhe's not.
....
boram is the one that approaches eunjung. zher head is lowered, apologetically, and zhe won't look eunjung in the eye. maybe it's a family thing, eunjung supposes as zhe tries to not feel too particularly bitter.
"unnie," eunjung greets, going for surprise but ending up with bitterness and hesitance anyway. zhe winces and boram swallows hard before saying anything.
"i think," boram says carefully, each word deliberate and professional, but not quite professional enough. eunjung crosses zher arms lightly over zher chest. it's not intentionally defensive but at the same time, it really is. "i should apologize. i feel like i should, anyway," boram corrects, with a shake of zher head and a tight-lipped expression.
eunjung doesn't frown. eunjung stares. "okay," zhe says slowly, nodding. it's unhelpful and zhe knows it, but zhe's not about to apologize right now, too.
boram takes a deep breath and then clasps zher hands together in front of zhim. zhe doesn't say zhe's sorry, though, and eunjung realizes after a few moments that it's because boram doesn't intend to.
"we have to be careful," boram says instead. "we can't just do what we want because we want to... because it makes us happy. and i know that you make wooram really happy, but zhe's still my little sister, and you're still my unnie. i want to watch out for you two." the i want to protect you is implicit and eunjung hears it loud and clear for the first time.
"oh," zhe says, and it sounds flat but eunjung means oh and i hate this and you mean it.
boram sighs quietly. "oh," zhe repeats. eunjung gets it.