Health
The high for today is 63'F. This is winter? I come from the northern part of Ontario and winter is cold, snowy and dull. I've been living in the south west for a bit over 2 years now and love the sun. The dryness is a bit much, but hey, you've got to ake a little bad with the good I guess.
Two things happened today that one could call rather depressing. First, I went to the INS to get my green card fixed and ended up being short two documents; my birth certificate and my passport...there is no decent list to say what you should bring. You can't call the INS here either. I spoke to some woman on the phone and there was no mention of this either. I got the information off the net, but that sucks. I know these sites aren't kept up so it gives people like me nothing to go by. Get a life INS webmaster. So I have another appointment to return to the INS next Monday and this time I will have my information complete. I thought the experience would have been worse then it was. Here's what happens, you enter the building and immediately to your left is a conveyor belt and two security guards who work for Wackenhut. Stu had a few choice words about them. Of course these fellows are only employees like the rest of us cannon fodder, so don't have any connection to the bad guys who run the show. So you go in, they take your purse or anything like that and run it through the X-ray machine. Then they give you back all your stuff after you go through the scanner. The guard said he'd give me a number and we went and sat down. We noted that Georgie's coronation was on the tube. It was very somber. The weather in Washington is dull today, it looks cold and damp and the inaugural precession looks rather funeralistic (if that's a word). It was in a matter of speaking a funeral...a funeral for democracy in this country. The democrats have proven they have no back bone, they crumble under the oppression of the republicans, they go along with them, they make no attempt to oppose them, this makes me sick...the whimps. And this thing with Condasleeza Rice taking over Colon Powells job, oh boy, now that's scary. She's a very smart woman, or maybe I should say crafty..yes, that's a good word, she is evil and crafty and lies like a rug. Here's a little something I made up about her. I had a photo of her but it won't print on here unfortunately, it shows the evil that lurks behind those eyes of hers...I think I will go and make some Welsh cookies...
Condolezza Rice Pie ™
This pie is not for the faint of heart, it's only to be eaten if you have absolutely no taste. This pie will bloat you up with noxious gas so make sure you keep the Tums© and Beano© close by; you're going to need it. This recipe is best made in a closed room with lead walls.
Ingredients:
1 cup of nasty rice
1 pound of salty lies
2 cups of pureed shut the hell up
3 tsp. of caustic acid flour and nuclear waste sugar
2 cups of dirty looks that could kill
Method:
This is best mixed with a WMD. I call it my whirling mini doohickey. I bought mine at George's Flee Market. If you want one you can get one, he has at least three thousand of them. He keeps them in his mountain bunker in Iraq.
However, you will not know they are there because no one will be able to see them. No matter how much George tells you they are there don't believe him.
Combine the cup of nasty rice with the pound of salty lies, but make sure you wear rubber gloves and a gas mask as the fumes might totally melt the skin off your face. After the nasty and lies are well blended remove the rubber gloves and gas mask stand back and slowly add the 2 cups of pureed shut the hell up. You'll need these because by now you should be screaming and retching. If you're not, there's something wrong with you. If your neighbours don't come to your aid, then it's a sure indication that they have tried this recipe and have left the planet.
Once you have added all the pureed shut the hell up slowly fold in the caustic acid flour and nuclear waste sugar. Now this step has got to be done just right otherwise it could blow up in your face and we wouldn't want that to happen because the last cup of dirty looks that could kill would have no where to go.
Now that you have this delicious Condoleezza Rice Pie put together, throw it into the oven at 500 degrees and let it cook for 2 hours. Check it every 15 minutes. This pie is notorious for trying to get out of the oven. When done take it out and cool it on a non-destructible metal cooling rack. It should be thoroughly cooled before attempting to eat it. This can be served with a nice steaming bowl of napalm soup and depleted uranium crackers.
Share this recipe with your friends, I'm going to, I'm bringing it to a GOP potluck next week. I'm sure everyone there will just love this recipe.
Bon Appetite
Two things happened today that one could call rather depressing. First, I went to the INS to get my green card fixed and ended up being short two documents; my birth certificate and my passport...there is no decent list to say what you should bring. You can't call the INS here either. I spoke to some woman on the phone and there was no mention of this either. I got the information off the net, but that sucks. I know these sites aren't kept up so it gives people like me nothing to go by. Get a life INS webmaster. So I have another appointment to return to the INS next Monday and this time I will have my information complete. I thought the experience would have been worse then it was. Here's what happens, you enter the building and immediately to your left is a conveyor belt and two security guards who work for Wackenhut. Stu had a few choice words about them. Of course these fellows are only employees like the rest of us cannon fodder, so don't have any connection to the bad guys who run the show. So you go in, they take your purse or anything like that and run it through the X-ray machine. Then they give you back all your stuff after you go through the scanner. The guard said he'd give me a number and we went and sat down. We noted that Georgie's coronation was on the tube. It was very somber. The weather in Washington is dull today, it looks cold and damp and the inaugural precession looks rather funeralistic (if that's a word). It was in a matter of speaking a funeral...a funeral for democracy in this country. The democrats have proven they have no back bone, they crumble under the oppression of the republicans, they go along with them, they make no attempt to oppose them, this makes me sick...the whimps. And this thing with Condasleeza Rice taking over Colon Powells job, oh boy, now that's scary. She's a very smart woman, or maybe I should say crafty..yes, that's a good word, she is evil and crafty and lies like a rug. Here's a little something I made up about her. I had a photo of her but it won't print on here unfortunately, it shows the evil that lurks behind those eyes of hers...I think I will go and make some Welsh cookies...
Condolezza Rice Pie ™
This pie is not for the faint of heart, it's only to be eaten if you have absolutely no taste. This pie will bloat you up with noxious gas so make sure you keep the Tums© and Beano© close by; you're going to need it. This recipe is best made in a closed room with lead walls.
Ingredients:
1 cup of nasty rice
1 pound of salty lies
2 cups of pureed shut the hell up
3 tsp. of caustic acid flour and nuclear waste sugar
2 cups of dirty looks that could kill
Method:
This is best mixed with a WMD. I call it my whirling mini doohickey. I bought mine at George's Flee Market. If you want one you can get one, he has at least three thousand of them. He keeps them in his mountain bunker in Iraq.
However, you will not know they are there because no one will be able to see them. No matter how much George tells you they are there don't believe him.
Combine the cup of nasty rice with the pound of salty lies, but make sure you wear rubber gloves and a gas mask as the fumes might totally melt the skin off your face. After the nasty and lies are well blended remove the rubber gloves and gas mask stand back and slowly add the 2 cups of pureed shut the hell up. You'll need these because by now you should be screaming and retching. If you're not, there's something wrong with you. If your neighbours don't come to your aid, then it's a sure indication that they have tried this recipe and have left the planet.
Once you have added all the pureed shut the hell up slowly fold in the caustic acid flour and nuclear waste sugar. Now this step has got to be done just right otherwise it could blow up in your face and we wouldn't want that to happen because the last cup of dirty looks that could kill would have no where to go.
Now that you have this delicious Condoleezza Rice Pie put together, throw it into the oven at 500 degrees and let it cook for 2 hours. Check it every 15 minutes. This pie is notorious for trying to get out of the oven. When done take it out and cool it on a non-destructible metal cooling rack. It should be thoroughly cooled before attempting to eat it. This can be served with a nice steaming bowl of napalm soup and depleted uranium crackers.
Share this recipe with your friends, I'm going to, I'm bringing it to a GOP potluck next week. I'm sure everyone there will just love this recipe.
Bon Appetite