if only you knew.
I contradict myself on a daily basis. But then, I do what I please, as I please - as long as nobody gets hurt in the process. I know I said that I wouldn't be writing anymore, however, I also added a disclaimer: that I will only share parts of my life when I feel like doing so. I do as I please, remember? ;)
You know how they say that the world's energy is constant and unchanging. Newton's third law of motion postulates that for every action, there is always an equal and opposite reaction. I figured this theory should also apply to the things we do. I realized that for me to actually start writing again, I need to tell myself that I've stopped writing in the first place. I needed realization. Only when I stopped, was I able to start again, right?
I also realized that over the course of growing up, I lost friends. And then I gained some. But then you can't lose friends, it's one of those things that doesn't just disappear, like your car keys or your cellphone. There's always traces of friends left behind in the memories we keep. With that realization, I came to understand that I confide and trust less in people who are not my family members. Because I know that they're transient and they leave you behind sometimes. Sometimes my heart feels heavy because I don't speak what is on my mind, or what is bothering me. I miss discussing issues with people - not politics, or the weather; but more of what they feel about life and what they wished they could understand. And in the midst of all that, I find myself. I see in them what I see in myself. The same worries, the same hope, the same fears. That I'm no less weak than they are. That we're all really just scared of what we don't know. That people first appear arrogant when they don't smile. That people think you think less of them because of their educational status. That we all really just want to take all the bad things back, and make people who matter to us, proud.
.. that we're all more alike than different. I find warm comfort in that after a particularly long and tiring day at work. And I find in that, a reason to smile the next day :)
You know how they say that the world's energy is constant and unchanging. Newton's third law of motion postulates that for every action, there is always an equal and opposite reaction. I figured this theory should also apply to the things we do. I realized that for me to actually start writing again, I need to tell myself that I've stopped writing in the first place. I needed realization. Only when I stopped, was I able to start again, right?
I also realized that over the course of growing up, I lost friends. And then I gained some. But then you can't lose friends, it's one of those things that doesn't just disappear, like your car keys or your cellphone. There's always traces of friends left behind in the memories we keep. With that realization, I came to understand that I confide and trust less in people who are not my family members. Because I know that they're transient and they leave you behind sometimes. Sometimes my heart feels heavy because I don't speak what is on my mind, or what is bothering me. I miss discussing issues with people - not politics, or the weather; but more of what they feel about life and what they wished they could understand. And in the midst of all that, I find myself. I see in them what I see in myself. The same worries, the same hope, the same fears. That I'm no less weak than they are. That we're all really just scared of what we don't know. That people first appear arrogant when they don't smile. That people think you think less of them because of their educational status. That we all really just want to take all the bad things back, and make people who matter to us, proud.
.. that we're all more alike than different. I find warm comfort in that after a particularly long and tiring day at work. And I find in that, a reason to smile the next day :)