thoughts for 08
i had this feeling that i might die at 28. if i do... please play "galileo" and "angels and devils" at my wake.
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i thought i'd want you back in my life after all that space, all that time. it bothers me that i don't want you back. NOT EVEN WITH THE PROMISE OF HAVING THAT OTHER PERSON BACK IN MY LIFE TOO. but i can't help how i feel. you were such an emotional vampire.
plus -- it saddens me to realize why you were such an emotional vampire. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET YOUR OWN THING. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO RIDE ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING...
and yes, you are/were selfish.
---
realization:
i am NOT good in sharing. i am good in giving. but when i want something for myself or when i think that it should only be for me -- i have trouble sharing it though i have a very strong impulse to do so.
and the same is true for people in my life.
so i'm the jealous type. sue me.
----
*
a beautiful fucked up man... building a mystery, sarah mclachlan
i lost you. but it's fine.
i hated the feeling of having to "fall in line" just to get to you. i used to always be top priority. but oh well -- a new year is here.
i'm counting on new things.
but i gotta admit -- some days i still wait for an announcement that someone's leaving someone. not that you would announce it.
*
of all my demon spirits i need you the most... - ghost, indigo girls
-----
discarding. mentally. emotionally. physically.
*
The worlds on fire its more then I can handle
Ill tap into the water try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able
Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in these stories pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And Ill try to hold it in
Yeah Ill try to hold it in - world on fire, sarah mclachlan
*
KARANGYAAN 2006. KAUNLARAN 2007. _____ 2008?
looking for a word to denote opportunities and/or going for things as opposed to waiting around for shit to happen.
---------
so i'm still waiting for YOU ...
*
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms - set fire to the third bar, snow patrol
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what is normal? wanted to try that for 08.
--------------
it's actually NOT getting any easier. it's becoming more and more about the future. but the future never seems to come.
*
And he knows his life is changing
It's never easy letting go
For the first time you are mortal
As the child before you grows
And he wonders at the sight
Of the joy that he has found
Even closer than this life
Closer than your faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain
Closer than this life
Falling through again
Giving more than anything
That you could hope to win
And what would you intend to find?
Solitude? Your peace of mind?
Holding out for something less
Than touching the hand of God?
Even closer than this life
Closer than this faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain - closer, better than ezra
-------
i want it to be a good, normal year.
NO EXCUSES.
LESS WAITING AROUND FOR STUFF TO HAPPEN, MORE GOING FOR IT.
FLY!
LESS FEAR of: THE UNKNOWN
: REJECTION
WARMTH, HONESTY, SINCERITY IS STILL IN PLAY.
REJECT MEDIOCRITY.
it's gonna be good.
------------
+)
--------------
i thought i'd want you back in my life after all that space, all that time. it bothers me that i don't want you back. NOT EVEN WITH THE PROMISE OF HAVING THAT OTHER PERSON BACK IN MY LIFE TOO. but i can't help how i feel. you were such an emotional vampire.
plus -- it saddens me to realize why you were such an emotional vampire. YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET YOUR OWN THING. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO RIDE ON WHAT OTHER PEOPLE ARE DOING...
and yes, you are/were selfish.
---
realization:
i am NOT good in sharing. i am good in giving. but when i want something for myself or when i think that it should only be for me -- i have trouble sharing it though i have a very strong impulse to do so.
and the same is true for people in my life.
so i'm the jealous type. sue me.
----
*
a beautiful fucked up man... building a mystery, sarah mclachlan
i lost you. but it's fine.
i hated the feeling of having to "fall in line" just to get to you. i used to always be top priority. but oh well -- a new year is here.
i'm counting on new things.
but i gotta admit -- some days i still wait for an announcement that someone's leaving someone. not that you would announce it.
*
of all my demon spirits i need you the most... - ghost, indigo girls
-----
discarding. mentally. emotionally. physically.
*
The worlds on fire its more then I can handle
Ill tap into the water try and bring my share
Try to bring more, more then I can handle
Bring it to the table
Bring what I am able
Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in these stories pages
The light has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And Ill try to hold it in
Yeah Ill try to hold it in - world on fire, sarah mclachlan
*
KARANGYAAN 2006. KAUNLARAN 2007. _____ 2008?
looking for a word to denote opportunities and/or going for things as opposed to waiting around for shit to happen.
---------
so i'm still waiting for YOU ...
*
I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms - set fire to the third bar, snow patrol
-----------
what is normal? wanted to try that for 08.
--------------
it's actually NOT getting any easier. it's becoming more and more about the future. but the future never seems to come.
*
And he knows his life is changing
It's never easy letting go
For the first time you are mortal
As the child before you grows
And he wonders at the sight
Of the joy that he has found
Even closer than this life
Closer than your faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain
Closer than this life
Falling through again
Giving more than anything
That you could hope to win
And what would you intend to find?
Solitude? Your peace of mind?
Holding out for something less
Than touching the hand of God?
Even closer than this life
Closer than this faith
Closer than the things that you hold dearly
And in vain - closer, better than ezra
-------
i want it to be a good, normal year.
NO EXCUSES.
LESS WAITING AROUND FOR STUFF TO HAPPEN, MORE GOING FOR IT.
FLY!
LESS FEAR of: THE UNKNOWN
: REJECTION
WARMTH, HONESTY, SINCERITY IS STILL IN PLAY.
REJECT MEDIOCRITY.
it's gonna be good.
------------
+)