congratulate me. i ended up doing...
i haven't been focusing on much of anything lately. not work. not my family. or their problems. not my side projects. nothing. been avoiding the gym too. i'm not quite ready to get back into the full swing of my program since my friend, who was an instructor there, resigned.
uhm, well, that's the partial truth. the-- shall we say -- bigger truth is ... since he resigned i have also greatly relied on the company and the guidance of my gym-instructor crush boy, who as i have mentioned in earlier posts, is so extremely taken. but lately it just got weird for me. as olivia newton john put it --- "maybe i hang around here, a little more than i should..."
and it doesn't help that he sometimes offers to take me back to work or wherever i am going after gym. it also doesn't help when instead of just dropping me off, we'd sit in his car and talk some more. and it also doesn't help when we sit around at the gym and do the same thing.
i was perfectly content to think that his attention was a figment of my imagination but last night i was out drinking with some people from the gym and i met this lady-doctor and we got to talking about the instructors and basically at some point she tells me how she's noticed that my gym-instructor crush boy and i seem to "get along" soooo well. i was a bit surprised that someone noticed. she said i shouldn't be since he hardly gives a nod to any other client but when we hang out he smiles, laughs and actually talks. awwww... my poor, misdirected charm.
he asked me to hang out two saturdays ago, to smoke up. but his girlfriend arrives at the gym that night to work out and so he cancels on me. i was upset about it but i was more upset about how upset i actually felt.
i was so upset, i ended up doing....
3 bottles of red horse (which i have tasted but never really drank before) and then some.
i keep telling myself to enjoy the friendship but i can't when i feel like he avoids me when his girl's working out. what the fuck's up with that?
it's such a lost cause. and the whole thing is so moronic. i feel like such an idiot for letting myself feel too much.
oh well... there'll be better days.
though on a brighter, happier and more optimistic note -- I AM FINALLY ON MY OWN. I HAVE MOVED OUT AND AM FINALLY AND COMPLETELY FENDING FOR MYSELF. though i still send money home, of course. double the payments but it's all good. or it will all be good. eventually. i'm just gonna have to keep working at it.
i feel better already.
+)
ps i live in the tomas morato area now. let's get coffee or a beer if you're in the area.
uhm, well, that's the partial truth. the-- shall we say -- bigger truth is ... since he resigned i have also greatly relied on the company and the guidance of my gym-instructor crush boy, who as i have mentioned in earlier posts, is so extremely taken. but lately it just got weird for me. as olivia newton john put it --- "maybe i hang around here, a little more than i should..."
and it doesn't help that he sometimes offers to take me back to work or wherever i am going after gym. it also doesn't help when instead of just dropping me off, we'd sit in his car and talk some more. and it also doesn't help when we sit around at the gym and do the same thing.
i was perfectly content to think that his attention was a figment of my imagination but last night i was out drinking with some people from the gym and i met this lady-doctor and we got to talking about the instructors and basically at some point she tells me how she's noticed that my gym-instructor crush boy and i seem to "get along" soooo well. i was a bit surprised that someone noticed. she said i shouldn't be since he hardly gives a nod to any other client but when we hang out he smiles, laughs and actually talks. awwww... my poor, misdirected charm.
he asked me to hang out two saturdays ago, to smoke up. but his girlfriend arrives at the gym that night to work out and so he cancels on me. i was upset about it but i was more upset about how upset i actually felt.
i was so upset, i ended up doing....
3 bottles of red horse (which i have tasted but never really drank before) and then some.
i keep telling myself to enjoy the friendship but i can't when i feel like he avoids me when his girl's working out. what the fuck's up with that?
it's such a lost cause. and the whole thing is so moronic. i feel like such an idiot for letting myself feel too much.
oh well... there'll be better days.
though on a brighter, happier and more optimistic note -- I AM FINALLY ON MY OWN. I HAVE MOVED OUT AND AM FINALLY AND COMPLETELY FENDING FOR MYSELF. though i still send money home, of course. double the payments but it's all good. or it will all be good. eventually. i'm just gonna have to keep working at it.
i feel better already.
+)
ps i live in the tomas morato area now. let's get coffee or a beer if you're in the area.