2017 end of the year fic meme: a year in review
fics i wrote in 2017
Total Word Count: 258020 words
Fandoms Written In: BTS, SEVENTEEN, a bit of GOT7 and NU'EST/Produce 101
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Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
Going into 2017 I was so hyped to redeem myself from 2016's sudden drop in productivity, and I kinda did! Still haven't been able to match 2015 (then again, I had waaaay more time back then) but it's been a good ride.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Me before midyear: I'm not gonna write anything with members born after 1997. I'm drawing the line at BTS and GOT7 maknaes, okay!
Me in July: What the Fuck, how am I in broduce and Seventeen now.
Seriously, though! I would never have seen Nu'est coming, or even Seventeen -- like, I know of Pledis bands, but a part of me just wasn't really interested prior to Produce 101 despite the infamous 97z group chat. Then I got suckered into it by Sorry Sorry team 2, and I figured I'd probably be writing 2hyun or howons (Jaehwan/Sewoon) for the rest of the year, but then the show broke my already fragile heart when National Leader Jonghyun didn't get into the top 11 and after that, I was just really looking for a salve to my Bitterness. It just so happened that because of DWC promotions, there was a Weekly Idol episode featuring SVT; I wasn't really going into it with high expectations because I was just mehhh about their first Weekly Idol appearance, but I found myself pleasantly surprised by their improved variety skills.
I figured I'd be writing cheolsoo in SVT (bc. You know. I'm a Josh stan.), and when I was watching OFD season 1, Soonyoung was sooooo far down my bias list that it was Unthinkable for me to write him ever. Cut to: OFD Japan and now soonwoo owns my ass. Thanks, you bias wrecker and tsundere. :VVVVV
Genre-wise, I didn't really think I'd ever go into supernatural/magic-realism again the way I did for olymfic. I think I made you up inside my head was a trip, haha. (AN UNFINISHED ONE, BUT. IT'S FINISHED IN MY HEAD.)
What's your own favorite story of the year?
Maaaaan this is so hard. I have, like, favorites depending on different aspects, but if it's just based on my genuine enjoyment and how quickly the writing process was, it's probably your plans and those slow hands, if only because it features Awkward First Times, boys being dumb, and friends being assholes to each other. Yes.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
I had a really dry spell around the tail end of Q2, but I think that fandom pressures from BTS (+ RL) were also starting to get to me as early as Q1 so I wasn't as productive. Going into Seventeen and starting out with shorter, low-pressure projects kinda helped me breathe a little and find my center again.
Of course I was disappointed in myself with the first few fics I wrote for it -- I didn't really know how to write anything other than BTS fic anymore, and it's always an intimidating thing to get into something new. I basically reworked a lot of my old, abandoned drafts/WIPs, so they definitely sound more like BTS the way I kinda characterize them vs how I see them now, but at least it was a good exercise to experiment and try to get a little more comfortable with SVT.
It was also the first time I took fic commissions, so that was cool too!
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?
WHEN WILL I WRITE JOSHUA FIC. WHEN.
Uhhh I guess I'll take it one at a time. Finish fic commissions first, then fests/exchanges, and WIPs at the bottom of the priority projects. I'm also interested in joining ficmix again, but for SVT ficdom this time around.
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From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year: x.
Arguably just like you. OKAY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. This should probably be under favorite instead precisely because of how niche it is (genderbend? famous/non-famous au? KID FIC???), but I kinda favor romcoms over the other emo stuff and there's a lot about the story that's very slice-of-life in my opinion, and that kind of narrative is exactly what I kinda feel my "voice" is more like. It's cheesy, it's suggestive, it flits between contrasting moods all in the same scene, but at the same time i really loved the worldbuilding that went into it (shoutout to Hongwen, to whom this universe caters to just as much haha).
The answer might change depending on how writing the next part is gonna be like, but this is so self-indulgent I don't think it's gonna change lmao. A very close runner-up is better when I'm with you. Fic commissions fuel me so much.
My most popular story of this year: x.
so close you'll never know was one of the yoonjin fic commissions I didn't know would be kinda well-received. I think that I cater to a very niche segment of yoonjin stans, so I don't really expect that much whenever I post yoonjin (despite having it as my most used ship tag for the fandom, lmao) and it was a pleasant surprise to know that people were reading it and liking it! :)
when will I ever match That Namseok Fic though. WHEN.
Most fun story to write: x.
You have no idea how quickly I breezed through you are in love in my thirst and desperation for genderbend and suffering. NONE.
I also had a lot of fun doing stone cold sober, even if it's not finished yet, haha. Jeon Wonwoo suffering over Kwon Soonyoung = clearly the recurring theme in all my fics.
Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: x.
I want to hold your hand was fairly slice-of-life as far as the narrative I tried going for was, but either vhope fandom is just generally not big on genderbend AUs at all, or the ship itself is a declining breed (sobs), so it didn't get as much traction as it probably could have if, say, it were a different pairing altogether.
That or it was just really bad lmao.
Story with the single sexiest moment: x.
(looks at sky) soonwoo face-sitting and basically any and all opportunity Wonwoo has to Get Into Soonyoung's Pants in the entire actor/manager AU. WHICH HAPPENS A LOT. HA.
Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: x.
IDK how to answer this!!! I'm a very vanilla person!!! But..... I guess there's a drabble I kinda filled as a request that involved magical sex pollen and sentient plants so that's. Um. A thing.
Also, does mpreg count? Because like you mean it definitely has that.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: x.
More than the main pairing, I went into writing one taste (and you'll be mine) not really thinking as much about the supporting characters in fic, and this was kinda the first time I wrote in Junhui's POV and made him the straight character/Only Sane Man compared to earlier fics I'd written him in as a side character for comedic relief. I think that, out of 96z, I really don't do justice to Junhui's personality the most (not like my characterization of any of them is stellar, lol), so this one really got me into toning down the absurdity (SORT OF) at the expense of the other characters, haha. There's still a lot about Junhui that I wanna explore in the future, but this was an interesting start all the same.
Hardest story to write: x.
G O D I think that more than finding it hard to write out, it's more like, it's so fully-formed in my head that it's a struggle to try to write it down and not feel like it's lacking so much? Technically crashing down, come back every time is a birthday fic for G, but it feels like at the rate i'm going I'm struggling to complete it without external pressure, haha. It's just!!! I want everything for you bc you deserve it!!!!
Also juggling so much fucking slowburn is bad for my soul lmao. Part of me is wondering if maybe knowing what will come in the later parts is deterring me from continuing (ESPECIALLY BC JINMIN. JINMIIIIN), as opposed to the actual writing process, because it's fairly a painless thing to write when I actually get in the mood to do it. Procrastination is my mortal enemy.
Biggest disappointment: x.
I started writing something always brings me back to you for just kiss/30 kisses, and I was really gung-ho allthroughout, but I'm kinda disappointed in myself for failing to sustain that momentum and not being able to finish the 5 other short parts I'd planned for it. Sigh.
I think that part of it is also because I wasn't really feeling as enthusiastic about the fandom as I was when I first started it, and at the same time getting feedback for it at first was really a struggle. Coming back to my stats page after half a year or so, I'm actually surprised that there were more kudos than I was initially expecting, so huzzah!!! (When will I finish this though...)
Biggest surprise: x.
I feel like most people looking for ABO fic have a set goal of looking for PWP/as much smutty situations as possible (esp wrt heats/ruts or knotting), so I was fairly surprised that closer (I can't stop) kinda still got feedback despite being fairly slow burn. (Then again, it had the Fake Dating tag in it, so that probably helped too, lmao) The narration isn't really one of my more popular styles either, so I was really expecting that it wouldn't really be read that much, but it's reach so far is actually the highest hit count I have for the year. Miracles happen!!!
Most unintentionally telling story: x.
cut to the feeling is basically all my feelings related to expectaitons vs reality in self-gratifying fic form, and I think that it's also very telling of my personal journey going down the sliding scale of idealism and towards a more cynical view of life because of external forces/other people not being on the same wavelength at times.
You can also tell I really hate confrontation based on all the scenes, haha. WHAT IS TALKING. CAN WE NOT DO THAT. LET'S JUST HIDE FROM OUR PROBLEMS FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES........
Favorite Opening Lines:
I hate writing intros with a passion so this was hard orz
- x (so close you'll never know; yoongi/seokjin)
In their last year of senior high school, Seokjin makes it a point to try to get himself a boyfriend.
No one's really surprised. At seventeen, Seokjin's shallow like that. He's the type to watch dramas and romcoms obsessively and roping everyone else (Yoongi) in the process, the kind of guy that gets irrationally excited over the latest gossip of who's dating who; he's that friend that gets jealous of everyone else pairing up into happy (and short-lived) couples and constantly complaining about wanting to get a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, someone, anyone, please, just let me live already, you asshats!
"I don't mind if they're ugly or dumb, I just want someone to ask me out," he sighs, right as he's making significant headway into a cheesy BL eroge everyone in their friend circle have pooled their (meager) allowances into buying for him for his last birthday. He'd been hell-bent on wooing the Ice Prince character for the longest time, but so far that's been a spectacular failure. Last week, he'd bagged the token jailbait freshman, only to fail terribly with a bad ending; this week, it's the tsundere with constant heart eyes even through his filthy mouth.
- x (strawberries taste how lips do; jimin/seokjin/jungkook)
Jimin picks up the cookbook on a whim one evening after work.
Jimin doesn't really understand how or why it happens -- one minute, he's passing by the bookstore to look around for the latest volume of One Piece for Jungkook, the next he's at the counter paying for a hardbound book that reads more like food porn than actually instructions, photographs taking up a significant chunk of the pages instead of words. It'd make a good gift for Seokjin, maybe, but Seokjin already has links to all the recipes he's ever cared to look up saved in his bookmarks bar and lovingly categorized in great detail more than Jungkook's own collection of LP blogs and manhwa, which is saying a lot.
It's not like Jimin even intends to keep the cookbook for himself. Out of the residents of Apartment 3B, he definitely isn't the most prolific or skilled cook. It's usually Seokjin that's the one they can trust with any and all forms of cutlery, aversion for condiments aside, but Seokjin doesn't really like the added baggage of having to hover in front of a stove for extra hours outside of work barring weekends, so he eventually ropes Jungkook into prepwork and, through sheer magnetism, persuasion, and copious amounts of sex, eventually taking on the task of cooking dinner on a near-daily basis.
(The blowjobs help a lot.)
- x (only wanna do bad things to you; wonwoo/soonyoung)
When Wonwoo was younger and perpetually getting hard at everything that moved, he thought that he'd grow out of the awkward phase of being a horny teenager and finally live a half-decent life barely obsessively deleting his history folder to wipe out all traces of his shame. Now that he's twenty-five and wanking in his room when he's bored and doing his laundry to get rid of the evidence (read: everyday), he realizes that maybe he's never really going to grow out of it, ever.
At least, not until his dick stops functioning and becomes less hyper vigilant around people he's been in love with since he was sixteen. Wonwoo's never been much of an optimist, so it's not really too much of a stretch to imagine it's not gonna happen anytime soon.
"It's the stress," says Wonwoo, more for his own benefit than anyone else's. "I'm going crazy from med school, so I need to let it out somehow."
"Uh huh." His roommate, Soonyoung, says this as he contemplates his bowl of instant noodles with dead eyes resembling fish Wonwoo would rather starve himself for hours than eat. "Right."
Favorite Closing Lines:
- x (back to you; yoongi/seokjin)
"Hey," Yoongi whispered, into the darkness. Seokjin made a soft noise in response. "I want you to come over for dinner tomorrow."
"I'll tell my mom," Seokjin muttered. He wondered how he was going to break it gently to them. If he would tell them. Maybe he'd have to kick Yoongi out of his bed at dawn just to avoid the 20 questions if his mother caught them, but Yoongi was never really good at waking up early. They'd deal with it tomorrow. "I think she and dad have plans, though."
"I don't want them to be there," said Yoongi. He shifted closer, until the space between them was practically nonexistent. "I want you to come over and meet my parents." He paused, and Seokjin was about to laugh and launch into a tirade about how he'd already known Yoongi's family his entire life, he didn't need an introduction, thanks, but the words died on his tongue when Yoongi continued. "As my boyfriend, I mean."
The silence between them turned heavy, choking. Yoongi's mouth still felt hot, so hot, against his skin, when he kissed him.
I'm scared of you, even now, he thought, heart in his throat. I'm scared you're going to hurt my heart again.
But even with the fear, he could feel something in his chest seize, unfurling, slowly. It felt a little like relief.
"Okay," said Seokjin, finally. "But we're having breakfast with my mother tomorrow morning."
- x (not gonna write you a love song; namjoon/hoseok)
"You're welcome," says Hoseok. "But next time you get drunk and decide to write me a love song or two, I'm going to cut you off from the Internet before you traumatize our future children."
"Future children?" Namjoon gives him a curious look, face carefully blank even as his eyes are alight in the way Hoseok knows his mind is on overdrive.
"Hypothetical future children," Hoseok affirms. Thinks of the papers at the adoption agency, and the opened letter in his desk drawer with pictures Namjoon has yet to thumb through. "Or not-so-hypothetical after all."
Namjoon's lips quirk up, grin so wide his teeth and dimples are showing. "We're gonna need a bigger house for that."
"I'm sure the royalties from our younger and dumber years are enough to cover it."
He's definitely right about that.
- x (better (when I'm with you); wonwoo/soonyoung)
"Thank you for marrying me," says Wonwoo, apropos of nothing.
Soonyoung looks at him with something soft in his eyes, almost unreadable in the dim light, but Wonwoo's been with him long enough to read him like an open book. It's easy.
"You're welcome," says Soonyoung, touching his cheek. "But you're still buying Hoshi more milk and some canned tuna."
Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:
- x (just like you; wonwoo/soonyoung)
"I can't believe I'm having sex with Sailor Mars," said Wonwoo, reverently thumbing at the hem of Soonyoung's skirt and watching the muscles on Soonyoung's thighs flex with every movement.
"Oh my god, shut up before I climb off of you and leave you with blue balls," said Soonyoung, but she was laughing, then, and just swallowed his muffled protests with a kiss that turned into an aborted moan when he rolled his hips upward.
- x (I think I made you up inside my head; jimin/seokjin)
The thing was, Jimin wasn't supposed to be in Seokjin's flat, not now, not ever. It wasn't because the last time they saw each other while conscious was when they were both yelling and throwing ceramic plates and knickknacks at each other, though that did play a part. A really huge part, in retrospect, but still--
Jimin wasn't supposed to be here, in Seokjin's kitchen, commenting on his burning eggs like they were living some fucked up domestic romcom all over again. Seokjin knew, because he'd just seen Jimin the day before in the ICU, bruised and bloody after a car accident in Itaewon. Seokjin knew, because he'd just come back from signing the papers at the damn hospital himself after they'd told him he was Jimin's only emergency contact even after all those years. If Jimin was in a hospital bed on life support, then the Jimin Seokjin was seeing now had to have been his imagination. He had to be.
Or he could be a fucking ghost. Seokjin didn't know which one he preferred more.
- x (closer (I can't stop); yoongi/seokjin)
How do you even tell your brother, hey hyung, he isn’t my boyfriend, but this is the guy that's been helping me out during my heats. Remember him? We used to run around naked in the backyard when we were, like, four years old. Practically babies then. And now he's obsessed about wanting pups when he's in a rut. Funny, right? Seokjin doesn’t think that will go over well at all.
- x (something always brings me back to you; taehyung/hoseok, past!namjoon/hoseok)
"If I catch you sucking face with the maid of honor, you're dead."
"The maid of honor is thirty-three."
"You've always had a thing for cougars," Hoseok mutters. "I've watched your porn."
"I know," says Namjoon, primly. "I was there jacking you off when you did."
- x stone cold sober; wonwoo/soonyoung)
Anyway, Wonwoo likes Soonyoung, the world is round, all their friends are assholes, and Soonyoung likes him too. It's just that their version of like doesn't quite match up with each other's, and now Wonwoo's suffering from it on a daily basis.
It's fine. Wonwoo's come to terms with the reality that he'll never be like that with Soonyoung anyway, not since the first time Soonyoung fell in love with idols left and right and decided his type was anyone but Wonwoo. He'll live.
"That was the most depressing thing I've heard in my life, and I've heard Jihoon cry over sad cat videos," Junhui tells him.
"You're the one who keeps crying," Jihoon protests, turning red.
Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:
- x like you mean it; yoongi/seokjin)
These days, Yoongi didn't kiss like he was trying to devour Seokjin whole, desperate, needy. When they were younger, he'd cupped the side of Seokjin's face, framed it with his palms and kept him in place, like he was afraid Seokjin would think better of it and turn away. He used less teeth, less tongue, now, and settled for something softer, intimate. Over time he'd learned two things: that he didn't have to prove a point anymore, and that Seokjin wasn't going to go anywhere.
Some things still stayed the same, though. How easy it was for his skin to get cracked, how he worried at his bottom lip until it was near bruising. How his mouth was warm, his touch like fire that licked at Seokjin's belly. How he breathed out Seokjin's name like a prayer.
"Go to sleep," said Seokjin, thumb brushing against the corner of Yoongi's eyes. He watched his eyelids flutter, closed. "I'll wake you in the morning."
- x stay young, made of lightning; mingyu/minghao)
"It's weird," says Minghao, as Mingyu holds him close, letting their bodies sway to the music. "I keep looking around and expecting to see Ahra getting up to no good, but there's no one there."
"I told you we should get a dog," says Mingyu. "She's not even in college and you're already getting empty nest syndrome."
"Both of you would just play with it and leave the cleaning up after me," says Minghao.
"You know," says Mingyu, loftily, "you are very good with dealing with puppies."
"Flatterer," says Minghao, without heat. "You just want to score brownie points with Ahra for her birthday."
"I don't need to," says Mingyu, sounding far too pleased himself. "She already likes me better anyway."
If they were younger and cockier, Minghao would have snapped at him that he was far too full of himself. Older now, and more indulgent, he just rests the pads of his thumbs on Mingyu's hips and tilts his head up to nose at his neck.
"Well," says Minghao, pressing a tiny kiss to Mingyu's jaw and relishing in the way Mingyu's breath hitches, "I like you best."
- x (your plans and those slow hands; wonwoo/soonyoung)
"Get back here, Kwon Soonyoung," Wonwoo yells at him, but he doesn't sound too peeved about it, just amused.
"Never!" He yells back, and starts running for his life.
The thing about Wonwoo that most people forget, though, is that he's always had longer legs, and fuck it if his stamina doesn't magically improve when it comes to Soonyoung. When he catches up to him and backhugs him so tightly Soonyoung squeaks and falls over, he knows: it's over.
"Caught you," Wonwoo wheezes, huffing into his ear.
And then he kisses him, sweet, and slow.
His heart, he thinks. It's fluttering.
New year's resolutions:
- write better, faster, clearer
- not to procrastinate
- out of non-commission/fest/exchange fics: FINISH CUT TO THE FEELING!!!!
- write that overdrawn slowburn enemies to friends to lovers soonwoo AU
- sign up for ficmix
- actuallly let jeon wonwoo get the D
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Total Word Count: 258020 words
Fandoms Written In: BTS, SEVENTEEN, a bit of GOT7 and NU'EST/Produce 101
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Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
Going into 2017 I was so hyped to redeem myself from 2016's sudden drop in productivity, and I kinda did! Still haven't been able to match 2015 (then again, I had waaaay more time back then) but it's been a good ride.
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January?
Me before midyear: I'm not gonna write anything with members born after 1997. I'm drawing the line at BTS and GOT7 maknaes, okay!
Me in July: What the Fuck, how am I in broduce and Seventeen now.
Seriously, though! I would never have seen Nu'est coming, or even Seventeen -- like, I know of Pledis bands, but a part of me just wasn't really interested prior to Produce 101 despite the infamous 97z group chat. Then I got suckered into it by Sorry Sorry team 2, and I figured I'd probably be writing 2hyun or howons (Jaehwan/Sewoon) for the rest of the year, but then the show broke my already fragile heart when National Leader Jonghyun didn't get into the top 11 and after that, I was just really looking for a salve to my Bitterness. It just so happened that because of DWC promotions, there was a Weekly Idol episode featuring SVT; I wasn't really going into it with high expectations because I was just mehhh about their first Weekly Idol appearance, but I found myself pleasantly surprised by their improved variety skills.
I figured I'd be writing cheolsoo in SVT (bc. You know. I'm a Josh stan.), and when I was watching OFD season 1, Soonyoung was sooooo far down my bias list that it was Unthinkable for me to write him ever. Cut to: OFD Japan and now soonwoo owns my ass. Thanks, you bias wrecker and tsundere. :VVVVV
Genre-wise, I didn't really think I'd ever go into supernatural/magic-realism again the way I did for olymfic. I think I made you up inside my head was a trip, haha. (AN UNFINISHED ONE, BUT. IT'S FINISHED IN MY HEAD.)
What's your own favorite story of the year?
Maaaaan this is so hard. I have, like, favorites depending on different aspects, but if it's just based on my genuine enjoyment and how quickly the writing process was, it's probably your plans and those slow hands, if only because it features Awkward First Times, boys being dumb, and friends being assholes to each other. Yes.
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
I had a really dry spell around the tail end of Q2, but I think that fandom pressures from BTS (+ RL) were also starting to get to me as early as Q1 so I wasn't as productive. Going into Seventeen and starting out with shorter, low-pressure projects kinda helped me breathe a little and find my center again.
Of course I was disappointed in myself with the first few fics I wrote for it -- I didn't really know how to write anything other than BTS fic anymore, and it's always an intimidating thing to get into something new. I basically reworked a lot of my old, abandoned drafts/WIPs, so they definitely sound more like BTS the way I kinda characterize them vs how I see them now, but at least it was a good exercise to experiment and try to get a little more comfortable with SVT.
It was also the first time I took fic commissions, so that was cool too!
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?
WHEN WILL I WRITE JOSHUA FIC. WHEN.
Uhhh I guess I'll take it one at a time. Finish fic commissions first, then fests/exchanges, and WIPs at the bottom of the priority projects. I'm also interested in joining ficmix again, but for SVT ficdom this time around.
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From my past year of writing, what was…
My best story of this year: x.
Arguably just like you. OKAY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. This should probably be under favorite instead precisely because of how niche it is (genderbend? famous/non-famous au? KID FIC???), but I kinda favor romcoms over the other emo stuff and there's a lot about the story that's very slice-of-life in my opinion, and that kind of narrative is exactly what I kinda feel my "voice" is more like. It's cheesy, it's suggestive, it flits between contrasting moods all in the same scene, but at the same time i really loved the worldbuilding that went into it (shoutout to Hongwen, to whom this universe caters to just as much haha).
The answer might change depending on how writing the next part is gonna be like, but this is so self-indulgent I don't think it's gonna change lmao. A very close runner-up is better when I'm with you. Fic commissions fuel me so much.
My most popular story of this year: x.
so close you'll never know was one of the yoonjin fic commissions I didn't know would be kinda well-received. I think that I cater to a very niche segment of yoonjin stans, so I don't really expect that much whenever I post yoonjin (despite having it as my most used ship tag for the fandom, lmao) and it was a pleasant surprise to know that people were reading it and liking it! :)
when will I ever match That Namseok Fic though. WHEN.
Most fun story to write: x.
You have no idea how quickly I breezed through you are in love in my thirst and desperation for genderbend and suffering. NONE.
I also had a lot of fun doing stone cold sober, even if it's not finished yet, haha. Jeon Wonwoo suffering over Kwon Soonyoung = clearly the recurring theme in all my fics.
Story most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: x.
I want to hold your hand was fairly slice-of-life as far as the narrative I tried going for was, but either vhope fandom is just generally not big on genderbend AUs at all, or the ship itself is a declining breed (sobs), so it didn't get as much traction as it probably could have if, say, it were a different pairing altogether.
That or it was just really bad lmao.
Story with the single sexiest moment: x.
(looks at sky) soonwoo face-sitting and basically any and all opportunity Wonwoo has to Get Into Soonyoung's Pants in the entire actor/manager AU. WHICH HAPPENS A LOT. HA.
Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: x.
IDK how to answer this!!! I'm a very vanilla person!!! But..... I guess there's a drabble I kinda filled as a request that involved magical sex pollen and sentient plants so that's. Um. A thing.
Also, does mpreg count? Because like you mean it definitely has that.
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: x.
More than the main pairing, I went into writing one taste (and you'll be mine) not really thinking as much about the supporting characters in fic, and this was kinda the first time I wrote in Junhui's POV and made him the straight character/Only Sane Man compared to earlier fics I'd written him in as a side character for comedic relief. I think that, out of 96z, I really don't do justice to Junhui's personality the most (not like my characterization of any of them is stellar, lol), so this one really got me into toning down the absurdity (SORT OF) at the expense of the other characters, haha. There's still a lot about Junhui that I wanna explore in the future, but this was an interesting start all the same.
Hardest story to write: x.
G O D I think that more than finding it hard to write out, it's more like, it's so fully-formed in my head that it's a struggle to try to write it down and not feel like it's lacking so much? Technically crashing down, come back every time is a birthday fic for G, but it feels like at the rate i'm going I'm struggling to complete it without external pressure, haha. It's just!!! I want everything for you bc you deserve it!!!!
Also juggling so much fucking slowburn is bad for my soul lmao. Part of me is wondering if maybe knowing what will come in the later parts is deterring me from continuing (ESPECIALLY BC JINMIN. JINMIIIIN), as opposed to the actual writing process, because it's fairly a painless thing to write when I actually get in the mood to do it. Procrastination is my mortal enemy.
Biggest disappointment: x.
I started writing something always brings me back to you for just kiss/30 kisses, and I was really gung-ho allthroughout, but I'm kinda disappointed in myself for failing to sustain that momentum and not being able to finish the 5 other short parts I'd planned for it. Sigh.
I think that part of it is also because I wasn't really feeling as enthusiastic about the fandom as I was when I first started it, and at the same time getting feedback for it at first was really a struggle. Coming back to my stats page after half a year or so, I'm actually surprised that there were more kudos than I was initially expecting, so huzzah!!! (When will I finish this though...)
Biggest surprise: x.
I feel like most people looking for ABO fic have a set goal of looking for PWP/as much smutty situations as possible (esp wrt heats/ruts or knotting), so I was fairly surprised that closer (I can't stop) kinda still got feedback despite being fairly slow burn. (Then again, it had the Fake Dating tag in it, so that probably helped too, lmao) The narration isn't really one of my more popular styles either, so I was really expecting that it wouldn't really be read that much, but it's reach so far is actually the highest hit count I have for the year. Miracles happen!!!
Most unintentionally telling story: x.
cut to the feeling is basically all my feelings related to expectaitons vs reality in self-gratifying fic form, and I think that it's also very telling of my personal journey going down the sliding scale of idealism and towards a more cynical view of life because of external forces/other people not being on the same wavelength at times.
You can also tell I really hate confrontation based on all the scenes, haha. WHAT IS TALKING. CAN WE NOT DO THAT. LET'S JUST HIDE FROM OUR PROBLEMS FOR AS LONG AS IT TAKES........
Favorite Opening Lines:
I hate writing intros with a passion so this was hard orz
- x (so close you'll never know; yoongi/seokjin)
In their last year of senior high school, Seokjin makes it a point to try to get himself a boyfriend.
No one's really surprised. At seventeen, Seokjin's shallow like that. He's the type to watch dramas and romcoms obsessively and roping everyone else (Yoongi) in the process, the kind of guy that gets irrationally excited over the latest gossip of who's dating who; he's that friend that gets jealous of everyone else pairing up into happy (and short-lived) couples and constantly complaining about wanting to get a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, someone, anyone, please, just let me live already, you asshats!
"I don't mind if they're ugly or dumb, I just want someone to ask me out," he sighs, right as he's making significant headway into a cheesy BL eroge everyone in their friend circle have pooled their (meager) allowances into buying for him for his last birthday. He'd been hell-bent on wooing the Ice Prince character for the longest time, but so far that's been a spectacular failure. Last week, he'd bagged the token jailbait freshman, only to fail terribly with a bad ending; this week, it's the tsundere with constant heart eyes even through his filthy mouth.
- x (strawberries taste how lips do; jimin/seokjin/jungkook)
Jimin picks up the cookbook on a whim one evening after work.
Jimin doesn't really understand how or why it happens -- one minute, he's passing by the bookstore to look around for the latest volume of One Piece for Jungkook, the next he's at the counter paying for a hardbound book that reads more like food porn than actually instructions, photographs taking up a significant chunk of the pages instead of words. It'd make a good gift for Seokjin, maybe, but Seokjin already has links to all the recipes he's ever cared to look up saved in his bookmarks bar and lovingly categorized in great detail more than Jungkook's own collection of LP blogs and manhwa, which is saying a lot.
It's not like Jimin even intends to keep the cookbook for himself. Out of the residents of Apartment 3B, he definitely isn't the most prolific or skilled cook. It's usually Seokjin that's the one they can trust with any and all forms of cutlery, aversion for condiments aside, but Seokjin doesn't really like the added baggage of having to hover in front of a stove for extra hours outside of work barring weekends, so he eventually ropes Jungkook into prepwork and, through sheer magnetism, persuasion, and copious amounts of sex, eventually taking on the task of cooking dinner on a near-daily basis.
(The blowjobs help a lot.)
- x (only wanna do bad things to you; wonwoo/soonyoung)
When Wonwoo was younger and perpetually getting hard at everything that moved, he thought that he'd grow out of the awkward phase of being a horny teenager and finally live a half-decent life barely obsessively deleting his history folder to wipe out all traces of his shame. Now that he's twenty-five and wanking in his room when he's bored and doing his laundry to get rid of the evidence (read: everyday), he realizes that maybe he's never really going to grow out of it, ever.
At least, not until his dick stops functioning and becomes less hyper vigilant around people he's been in love with since he was sixteen. Wonwoo's never been much of an optimist, so it's not really too much of a stretch to imagine it's not gonna happen anytime soon.
"It's the stress," says Wonwoo, more for his own benefit than anyone else's. "I'm going crazy from med school, so I need to let it out somehow."
"Uh huh." His roommate, Soonyoung, says this as he contemplates his bowl of instant noodles with dead eyes resembling fish Wonwoo would rather starve himself for hours than eat. "Right."
Favorite Closing Lines:
- x (back to you; yoongi/seokjin)
"Hey," Yoongi whispered, into the darkness. Seokjin made a soft noise in response. "I want you to come over for dinner tomorrow."
"I'll tell my mom," Seokjin muttered. He wondered how he was going to break it gently to them. If he would tell them. Maybe he'd have to kick Yoongi out of his bed at dawn just to avoid the 20 questions if his mother caught them, but Yoongi was never really good at waking up early. They'd deal with it tomorrow. "I think she and dad have plans, though."
"I don't want them to be there," said Yoongi. He shifted closer, until the space between them was practically nonexistent. "I want you to come over and meet my parents." He paused, and Seokjin was about to laugh and launch into a tirade about how he'd already known Yoongi's family his entire life, he didn't need an introduction, thanks, but the words died on his tongue when Yoongi continued. "As my boyfriend, I mean."
The silence between them turned heavy, choking. Yoongi's mouth still felt hot, so hot, against his skin, when he kissed him.
I'm scared of you, even now, he thought, heart in his throat. I'm scared you're going to hurt my heart again.
But even with the fear, he could feel something in his chest seize, unfurling, slowly. It felt a little like relief.
"Okay," said Seokjin, finally. "But we're having breakfast with my mother tomorrow morning."
- x (not gonna write you a love song; namjoon/hoseok)
"You're welcome," says Hoseok. "But next time you get drunk and decide to write me a love song or two, I'm going to cut you off from the Internet before you traumatize our future children."
"Future children?" Namjoon gives him a curious look, face carefully blank even as his eyes are alight in the way Hoseok knows his mind is on overdrive.
"Hypothetical future children," Hoseok affirms. Thinks of the papers at the adoption agency, and the opened letter in his desk drawer with pictures Namjoon has yet to thumb through. "Or not-so-hypothetical after all."
Namjoon's lips quirk up, grin so wide his teeth and dimples are showing. "We're gonna need a bigger house for that."
"I'm sure the royalties from our younger and dumber years are enough to cover it."
He's definitely right about that.
- x (better (when I'm with you); wonwoo/soonyoung)
"Thank you for marrying me," says Wonwoo, apropos of nothing.
Soonyoung looks at him with something soft in his eyes, almost unreadable in the dim light, but Wonwoo's been with him long enough to read him like an open book. It's easy.
"You're welcome," says Soonyoung, touching his cheek. "But you're still buying Hoshi more milk and some canned tuna."
Favorite 5 Line(s) from Anywhere:
- x (just like you; wonwoo/soonyoung)
"I can't believe I'm having sex with Sailor Mars," said Wonwoo, reverently thumbing at the hem of Soonyoung's skirt and watching the muscles on Soonyoung's thighs flex with every movement.
"Oh my god, shut up before I climb off of you and leave you with blue balls," said Soonyoung, but she was laughing, then, and just swallowed his muffled protests with a kiss that turned into an aborted moan when he rolled his hips upward.
- x (I think I made you up inside my head; jimin/seokjin)
The thing was, Jimin wasn't supposed to be in Seokjin's flat, not now, not ever. It wasn't because the last time they saw each other while conscious was when they were both yelling and throwing ceramic plates and knickknacks at each other, though that did play a part. A really huge part, in retrospect, but still--
Jimin wasn't supposed to be here, in Seokjin's kitchen, commenting on his burning eggs like they were living some fucked up domestic romcom all over again. Seokjin knew, because he'd just seen Jimin the day before in the ICU, bruised and bloody after a car accident in Itaewon. Seokjin knew, because he'd just come back from signing the papers at the damn hospital himself after they'd told him he was Jimin's only emergency contact even after all those years. If Jimin was in a hospital bed on life support, then the Jimin Seokjin was seeing now had to have been his imagination. He had to be.
Or he could be a fucking ghost. Seokjin didn't know which one he preferred more.
- x (closer (I can't stop); yoongi/seokjin)
How do you even tell your brother, hey hyung, he isn’t my boyfriend, but this is the guy that's been helping me out during my heats. Remember him? We used to run around naked in the backyard when we were, like, four years old. Practically babies then. And now he's obsessed about wanting pups when he's in a rut. Funny, right? Seokjin doesn’t think that will go over well at all.
- x (something always brings me back to you; taehyung/hoseok, past!namjoon/hoseok)
"If I catch you sucking face with the maid of honor, you're dead."
"The maid of honor is thirty-three."
"You've always had a thing for cougars," Hoseok mutters. "I've watched your porn."
"I know," says Namjoon, primly. "I was there jacking you off when you did."
- x stone cold sober; wonwoo/soonyoung)
Anyway, Wonwoo likes Soonyoung, the world is round, all their friends are assholes, and Soonyoung likes him too. It's just that their version of like doesn't quite match up with each other's, and now Wonwoo's suffering from it on a daily basis.
It's fine. Wonwoo's come to terms with the reality that he'll never be like that with Soonyoung anyway, not since the first time Soonyoung fell in love with idols left and right and decided his type was anyone but Wonwoo. He'll live.
"That was the most depressing thing I've heard in my life, and I've heard Jihoon cry over sad cat videos," Junhui tells him.
"You're the one who keeps crying," Jihoon protests, turning red.
Scenes from Anywhere You Would Choose to Have Illustrated:
- x like you mean it; yoongi/seokjin)
These days, Yoongi didn't kiss like he was trying to devour Seokjin whole, desperate, needy. When they were younger, he'd cupped the side of Seokjin's face, framed it with his palms and kept him in place, like he was afraid Seokjin would think better of it and turn away. He used less teeth, less tongue, now, and settled for something softer, intimate. Over time he'd learned two things: that he didn't have to prove a point anymore, and that Seokjin wasn't going to go anywhere.
Some things still stayed the same, though. How easy it was for his skin to get cracked, how he worried at his bottom lip until it was near bruising. How his mouth was warm, his touch like fire that licked at Seokjin's belly. How he breathed out Seokjin's name like a prayer.
"Go to sleep," said Seokjin, thumb brushing against the corner of Yoongi's eyes. He watched his eyelids flutter, closed. "I'll wake you in the morning."
- x stay young, made of lightning; mingyu/minghao)
"It's weird," says Minghao, as Mingyu holds him close, letting their bodies sway to the music. "I keep looking around and expecting to see Ahra getting up to no good, but there's no one there."
"I told you we should get a dog," says Mingyu. "She's not even in college and you're already getting empty nest syndrome."
"Both of you would just play with it and leave the cleaning up after me," says Minghao.
"You know," says Mingyu, loftily, "you are very good with dealing with puppies."
"Flatterer," says Minghao, without heat. "You just want to score brownie points with Ahra for her birthday."
"I don't need to," says Mingyu, sounding far too pleased himself. "She already likes me better anyway."
If they were younger and cockier, Minghao would have snapped at him that he was far too full of himself. Older now, and more indulgent, he just rests the pads of his thumbs on Mingyu's hips and tilts his head up to nose at his neck.
"Well," says Minghao, pressing a tiny kiss to Mingyu's jaw and relishing in the way Mingyu's breath hitches, "I like you best."
- x (your plans and those slow hands; wonwoo/soonyoung)
"Get back here, Kwon Soonyoung," Wonwoo yells at him, but he doesn't sound too peeved about it, just amused.
"Never!" He yells back, and starts running for his life.
The thing about Wonwoo that most people forget, though, is that he's always had longer legs, and fuck it if his stamina doesn't magically improve when it comes to Soonyoung. When he catches up to him and backhugs him so tightly Soonyoung squeaks and falls over, he knows: it's over.
"Caught you," Wonwoo wheezes, huffing into his ear.
And then he kisses him, sweet, and slow.
His heart, he thinks. It's fluttering.
New year's resolutions:
- write better, faster, clearer
- not to procrastinate
- out of non-commission/fest/exchange fics: FINISH CUT TO THE FEELING!!!!
- write that overdrawn slowburn enemies to friends to lovers soonwoo AU
- sign up for ficmix
- actuallly let jeon wonwoo get the D
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