vulnerable; skins, gen 2, effy/pandora; rated r (1/2)
She dreams about Effy, sometimes.
She isn't gay but she wants - wants pale skin and dark hair, teeth biting at her hips, at her sides. She wants to be marked, to be properly fucked by Ef, the person she loves most in the world.
(It's more than that, though. It isn't really love or anything like it - it's vicious and when she thinks about it it's not good, like it should be. It's rough and dark and Pandora wants it all the more for it.)
She catches Effy looking at her, sometimes. She thinks she knows what that means; and she wonders if Effy dreams of her, too.
*
"Please," Panda whispers, one night.
They're curled up together - it's between important things, before the breakdown, before the shattering of everything.
(They aren't to know that, though. They can't know that because they live in the now; not the future, not the past, but the now - sweat-soaked sheets that Effy has yet to change and the hair pulled back into a bun, the make-up scrubbed off of her face.
She looks young, now. Effy looks young and soft, vulnerable. Different than she seems but Panda knows her so well.)
Pandora licks over her lips and watches Effy watch her, because this - this is what she knows she can do (this time last year she wouldn't have but she knows, now, what to do and say to make herself appealing, if not sexy). She smiles. "Come on, Ef," and its soft, almost shy, though it isn't really.
Effy smirks and all vulnerability is gone. She kisses her, then. She bites her way into Pandora's mouth, licks and sucks until she's moaning, soft into the pillow.
"Come on," Effy says, then, a whisper filled with malice. "Come the fuck on if this is what you - "
And Pandora leans up to pull her down, because she knows that if this happens they can come back from it. There's nothing that's going to break them. Not forever.
"Yeah," she says, when Effy gets it, bears down on her and slides a finger into her panties, pulls them down with a practiced ease that should make her uncomfortable but doesn't.
Effy's quick, when she fucks Pandora. Quick but not uncaring; she's more teasing than Pandora thought she'd be, which makes sense but not when she's between her legs, grinning up at her like she's got all the time in the world.
Effy stays on top when she slides two fingers into Pandora; of course she does, and she smirks as though she's the one in charge. As though she can be.
(Pandora comes with a cry out, teeth digging into her lip, Effy's finger pressed against her hip.
And Ef comes with a bite to Panda's shoulder, fingers marking bruises for days to come.)
*
Later, Pandora looks at her. Really looks at the broken (she thinks of her that way; broken, already, as though there's no more for her to lose) girl lying next to her.
"Hey," she whispers, because it's all she can say in the sweetness of the morning; she can pretend that this is something more than what it is.
Effy flashes her a smile and reaches out, laces fingers together, and Panda watches as her jaw twists, the faintest bit.
"I have to go, Panda," she says, voice hoarse, "I have to leave."
She gets up, pulling clothes on methodically, forcedly. Pandora watches her from the bed and covers herself up with the blankets.
"What if I asked you to stay?" she says, when Effy's at the door, fingers twisting at the handle.
Her hand stills and she half-turns. "What?"
"You heard me."
Effy swallows, visibly, and then - "Don't ask me to."
The why not? is on the tip of her tongue but she stays silent, watches as Effy leaves the room and shuts the door behind her with a click.
She's alone, then, and she wraps her arms around her legs and stares at the blanket (in Effy's own house; she has nowhere to go - and Panda can see her wrapped in a wool blanket on a couch, drinking coffee, and she wonders what she thinks about).
It wasn't good, like sex should be. Not nice, not warm, not anything. She doesn't feel anything but lonely, now.
When she walks down the stairs, Effy's indeed on the couch with a blanket and a mug. They don't look at each other, not really, and Pandora doesn't cry on the way home but she feels her heart break a little bit.
Things are different, though. Different and calmer - and the want, the need, is gone, replaced with a sort of sorrow.
Effy hugs her, one day, later.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, and this is a broken Effy - this is Effy needing and hurting and Panda just holds her, wonders at herself from so long ago (to think that Effy couldn't fall any further than she had).
"Don't be," and she pats her head.
"I," and a pause, "I love you, Panda."
"Love you, too, Ef," she murmurs, kissing the top of her head. (And there's so much further to go, so much more to get through, but for now they can rest, can pause.) "Always."
I don't know who Pandora is yet but I read this anyway because qurl you know ilu.
She isn't gay but she wants - wants pale skin and dark hair, teeth biting at her hips, at her sides. She wants to be marked, to be properly fucked by Ef, the person she loves most in the world. I just love the phrasing of this, the rhythm of this sentence. The whole fic had just a really beautiful natural flow, which means GOOD WRITING mwahaha.
Aren't you so glad I posted about this ficathon and now we've both written Skins femslash fic woot woot
This is awesome, thank you! I really like how you deal with Pandora and her sexuality, it really works and the whole fic is really hot because of it ... and then eventually very tender and believably sweet.
She dreams about Effy, sometimes.
She isn't gay but she wants - wants pale skin and dark hair, teeth biting at her hips, at her sides. She wants to be marked, to be properly fucked by Ef, the person she loves most in the world.
(It's more than that, though. It isn't really love or anything like it - it's vicious and when she thinks about it it's not good, like it should be. It's rough and dark and Pandora wants it all the more for it.)
She catches Effy looking at her, sometimes. She thinks she knows what that means; and she wonders if Effy dreams of her, too.
*
"Please," Panda whispers, one night.
They're curled up together - it's between important things, before the breakdown, before the shattering of everything.
(They aren't to know that, though. They can't know that because they live in the now; not the future, not the past, but the now - sweat-soaked sheets that Effy has yet to change and the hair pulled back into a bun, the make-up scrubbed off of her face.
She looks young, now. Effy looks young and soft, vulnerable. Different than she seems but Panda knows her so well.)
Pandora licks over her lips and watches Effy watch her, because this - this is what she knows she can do (this time last year she wouldn't have but she knows, now, what to do and say to make herself appealing, if not sexy). She smiles. "Come on, Ef," and its soft, almost shy, though it isn't really.
Effy smirks and all vulnerability is gone. She kisses her, then. She bites her way into Pandora's mouth, licks and sucks until she's moaning, soft into the pillow.
"Come on," Effy says, then, a whisper filled with malice. "Come the fuck on if this is what you - "
And Pandora leans up to pull her down, because she knows that if this happens they can come back from it. There's nothing that's going to break them. Not forever.
"Yeah," she says, when Effy gets it, bears down on her and slides a finger into her panties, pulls them down with a practiced ease that should make her uncomfortable but doesn't.
Effy's quick, when she fucks Pandora. Quick but not uncaring; she's more teasing than Pandora thought she'd be, which makes sense but not when she's between her legs, grinning up at her like she's got all the time in the world.
Effy stays on top when she slides two fingers into Pandora; of course she does, and she smirks as though she's the one in charge. As though she can be.
(Pandora comes with a cry out, teeth digging into her lip, Effy's finger pressed against her hip.
And Ef comes with a bite to Panda's shoulder, fingers marking bruises for days to come.)
*
Later, Pandora looks at her. Really looks at the broken (she thinks of her that way; broken, already, as though there's no more for her to lose) girl lying next to her.
"Hey," she whispers, because it's all she can say in the sweetness of the morning; she can pretend that this is something more than what it is.
Effy flashes her a smile and reaches out, laces fingers together, and Panda watches as her jaw twists, the faintest bit.
"I have to go, Panda," she says, voice hoarse, "I have to leave."
She gets up, pulling clothes on methodically, forcedly. Pandora watches her from the bed and covers herself up with the blankets.
"What if I asked you to stay?" she says, when Effy's at the door, fingers twisting at the handle.
Her hand stills and she half-turns. "What?"
"You heard me."
Effy swallows, visibly, and then - "Don't ask me to."
The why not? is on the tip of her tongue but she stays silent, watches as Effy leaves the room and shuts the door behind her with a click.
She's alone, then, and she wraps her arms around her legs and stares at the blanket (in Effy's own house; she has nowhere to go - and Panda can see her wrapped in a wool blanket on a couch, drinking coffee, and she wonders what she thinks about).
It wasn't good, like sex should be. Not nice, not warm, not anything. She doesn't feel anything but lonely, now.
When she walks down the stairs, Effy's indeed on the couch with a blanket and a mug. They don't look at each other, not really, and Pandora doesn't cry on the way home but she feels her heart break a little bit.
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(Panda doesn't dream about Effy anymore.)
*
They aren't broken. Not forever.
Things are different, though. Different and calmer - and the want, the need, is gone, replaced with a sort of sorrow.
Effy hugs her, one day, later.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, and this is a broken Effy - this is Effy needing and hurting and Panda just holds her, wonders at herself from so long ago (to think that Effy couldn't fall any further than she had).
"Don't be," and she pats her head.
"I," and a pause, "I love you, Panda."
"Love you, too, Ef," she murmurs, kissing the top of her head. (And there's so much further to go, so much more to get through, but for now they can rest, can pause.) "Always."
Always she will.
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She isn't gay but she wants - wants pale skin and dark hair, teeth biting at her hips, at her sides. She wants to be marked, to be properly fucked by Ef, the person she loves most in the world. I just love the phrasing of this, the rhythm of this sentence. The whole fic had just a really beautiful natural flow, which means GOOD WRITING mwahaha.
Aren't you so glad I posted about this ficathon and now we've both written Skins femslash fic woot woot
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