Sleepover (Ensemble, Part 3 of 3)
Title: Sleepover
Character/Pairing: Ensemble
Spoilers: Set in between "Business Trip" and "Frame Toby"
Word Count: 2,336
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael decides to have a sleepover at the office. Shenanigans ensue. (Part 3 of 3)
Author's Note: At last, the end is upon us! (After all of ... three days.) I had so much fun with this; thank you so much, you guys, for receiving it so well. It has definitely brightened up my weekend. Possibly my general existence. ♥ all around, you beauteous humans!
(Also, the credit for 'bromigo' goes to firthgal. I am not capable of such GENIUS.)
ACT ONE
ACT TWO
ACT THREE
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
ANDY is sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the ladies’ room door fixedly.
ANDY
Angela’s just brushing her teeth. She should be out any minute.
Pan over to the door. It stays very closed.
ANDY
She is the lady-master of dental hygiene. It’s one of the things I love about her. All minty fresh, all the time. That’s my girl.
The door. Still closed.
ANDY
It’s gonna be a good night. I brought some MadLibs, because my little lady loves to mad lib. We tend to have our best times together when we’re playing MadLibs, in fact. Sooo.
The door. Still very, very closed.
ANDY
She should be out any minute.
ANDY starts drumming his fingertips against the cover of the MadLibs book.
INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’S OFFICE
Through the blinds, we see MICHAEL still lying there on his back. He sighs, turns over, eyes still open.
INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA
SPY SHOT from behind one of the plants. JIM and PAM are lying next to each other.
JIM
(softly)
Hey, Pam?
PAM
Yeah?
JIM
Truth or truth?
PAM
(pretends to ponder)
… Truth.
JIM
(serious; trying not to seem it)
Are you happy? Being back?
PAM
Yeah, I am.
JIM
(making sure)
You are.
PAM
I am. It’s home.
JIM smiles, relieved. They’re quiet for a few seconds.
PAM
Hey, Jim?
JIM
Yeah?
PAM
Truth or truth?
JIM
Ooh. That’s a tough one.
PAM
(hits him on the arm)
Hey, I went along with you.
JIM
Right. Fine. Truth.
PAM
(a little hesitantly)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
JIM
What?
PAM
(serious)
What do you want? Besides this?
JIM
Oh, Pam. How could anyone want any more than this? That’d just be greedy.
PAM
(laughs)
Yeah, okay.
They sink into silence. Both look genuinely contemplative.
JIM
(realizing)
I don’t really know.
PAM
(sympathetic)
Do you wish you did?
JIM is silent for a long time. His expression is thoughtful, a little unsettled. Pam watches him.
JIM
(reverting to funny)
Wait, no, I’ve got it. You know those people on the History Channel who dress up in costumes and pretend to be, like, Henry VIII or Rasputin and do live-action reenactments while the scholars all talk about them? One of those.
PAM
(disappointed for a minute, but she smiles)
Oh really.
JIM
Absolutely. Or a trainer at Sea World. Or, ooh, the next Ryan Seacrest. Or the current Wolf Blitzer. Just for the name. And the beard. Or a gladiator. I could fight Dwight.
PAM
(laughing)
I think Dwight might win.
JIM
Ohhh. Harsh.
They continue on joking around.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
I guess I don’t know. I want to be with Pam. And … apart from that, I guess I …
(He laughs a little, embarrassed and a little sad, as realization dawns)
I probably sound really lame right now. Don’t I.
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
ANDY is still waiting diligently, watching the bathroom door. OSCAR comes in.
ANDY
Heyyyy! Oscar. Mi bromigo. Que’s pasa-ing?
OSCAR
Nothing. Just wanted a cup of tea.
ANDY
Solid.
OSCAR
Right.
(He starts rummaging through the cupboard, takes out a mug and teabag, etc.)
What are you doing?
ANDY
Just waiting on the fiancee. She’s in the bathroom. Getting ready for bed.
OSCAR
(listens a minute)
Really? I don’t hear the water or anything.
ANDY
She’s really quiet.
OSCAR realizes what Andy has obstinately refused to - namely, that Angela is not in the bathroom - and looks at him sympathetically.
OSCAR TALKING HEAD
OSCAR
I know he dresses the way he dresses. I know he acts the way he acts. But when he’s not punching holes in things, he’s a pretty harmless guy. And no one deserves to be treated by Angela the way he’s treated by Angela.
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
OSCAR takes a second cup out of the cupboard and puts a teabag in it, then takes the first out of the microwave and gives it to Andy.
ANDY
(surprised)
Oh. Thanks.
OSCAR
Sure. Are those MadLibs?
ANDY
Yeah. Angela loves ‘em. Can’t get enough. Sheee is a little MadLib minx. You should watch that lady select an adverb. It might even turn you straight.
OSCAR
Yeah, I doubt that.
ANDY
I just thought we’d squeeze in a quick game or two before bed. But now … it’s getting pretty late. I’m sort of worried. She’s been in there a really long time.
OSCAR
Andy, I don’t think she’s in there anymore.
ANDY
What? Of course she’s in there. She said she would be.
OSCAR
Well, maybe you should go and check.
ANDY
Pfft. In the ladies’ room? I think not. I have some common decency.
OSCAR
No one’s in there, Andy.
ANDY
… fine, I’ll look. But when she gets mad at me, it’s all gonna be on you.
OSCAR
I’m okay with that.
ANDY disappears into the bathroom. OSCAR stares, sort of grimly knowing, at the camera, then retrieves his tea from the microwave. A few seconds later, ANDY comes back out.
ANDY
(sinking down at the table)
She’s not in there.
OSCAR
Yeah.
ANDY
Huh. Where is she?
OSCAR
I dunno. Maybe there was something she had to do.
ANDY
Like what?
INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN BUILDING - HALLWAY
A SHOT of the stairwell door. Some pretty frenzied noises coming from inside.
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
OSCAR
I don’t know. But you shouldn’t worry about it.
ANDY
Yeah. Okay. Good idea. I guess I’ll just … go find me a corner o’ floor. Settle in for the night.
OSCAR
That sounds like a good idea.
ANDY sits there, stationary and pathetic.
OSCAR
(taking pity on him)
Or. How about a game of MadLibs first?
ANDY
Seriously??
OSCAR
(sitting down across from Andy)
Sure, why not.
ANDY
Ohhh! It is on, my friend.
He flips the book open with relish, his enthusiasm renewed.
ANDY
Okay. Gimme an adjective.
OSCAR
Teutonic.
ANDY gives him a ‘what the hell kind of MadLib word is that?’ look.
ANDY
How do you spell that?
OSCAR
Like it sounds.
ANDY
Um. Okayyy. T-U-
OSCAR
Well, there’s a silent e.
ANDY
T-U-E-
OSCAR
T-E-U-
They play on.
INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’S OFFICE
Through the blinds. MICHAEL is still lying there, wide awake. After about five seconds, he gets up, comes out of his office, careful to close the door behind him quietly. He begins to walk with quiet, careful steps through the office, looking down at his employees where they’re sleeping.
MICHAEL (voiceover)
These people are my family. They are my friends. They are - well, they were my enemies, too, but then Toby left. Thank God. The point is, they are all I need in this world to get me by. But … I don’t know. Lately, I just feel weird.
MICHAEL stops by Jim and Pam. Waits for a second, then leans down and taps Pam on the shoulder.
MICHAEL
(whispering)
Pam.
PAM
Nuh uh.
MICHAEL
(poking her shoulder repeatedly)
Pam. Pam. Pam.
PAM
Whaaat -
(she wakes up all the way)
Oh. Hi, Michael.
She shoots a ‘see, told ya’ glance at the camera.
MICHAEL
You can’t sleep either?
PAM
(dryly)
Nope.
MICHAEL
Huh. Well. Coincidence. Say, you want to go, I dunno, sit and talk ‘til we get tired?
PAM
(considers it for a second, then, with resignation)
Sure.
INT. OFFICE - BREAK ROOM
PAM and MICHAEL are sitting at one of the tables, sharing a bag of chips from the vending machine.
MICHAEL
I’m glad you’re back.
PAM
Yeah, me too.
MICHAEL
You do anything fun?
PAM
Yeah. It was a really cool experience.
MICHAEL
That’s good.
PAM
Yup.
They sit in silence broken only by the sound of chewing.
PAM
Michael, are you okay?
MICHAEL
What? Pam! Of course I’m okay. I’m great. It’s an office sleepover. It’s the best night of my life. If I were any happier, I’d probably be high. Not even on some kind of substance. Just on life.
PAM
Oh. Okay.
More crunchy silence.
MICHAEL
I just … I thought there’d be more lovin’ going on.
PAM
You mean like …?
MICHAEL
No, Pam, not like an orgy. I’m not going to throw an office orgy.
PAM
Sorry. Sometimes, with you, it’s just better to check.
MICHAEL
Maybe if it was just, like, you, and Ryan, and Jim, and Kelly, and - Angela, but if Angela decided to fancy herself up a little bit. And, ooh, if Karen still worked here-
PAM
Okay, Michael.
MICHAEL
-but in this office? With Kevin, and Meredith? With Creed? No one wants Creed in an orgy.
CREED TALKING HEAD
CREED
Actually, I know some folks who’d beg to differ.
INT. OFFICE - BREAK ROOM
MICHAEL
No, I just meant … you know. That vibe. That nice love vibe that happens, when we’re all together sometimes. Like a family.
PAM
Oh. That one.
MICHAEL
Yeah. Because … I don’t know, that used to just be like the greatest feeling, you know? Like that Christmas where I bought all the vodka, and we all just went crazy. Or that Christmas where you and Karen made margaritas. Like, those were times where I would just look at everybody and think, ‘This, this is the life.’
PAM
Maybe it’s because you were drunk.
MICHAEL
(irritated)
It’s not because I was drunk, Pam.
PAM
Sorry.
Silence. Then-
MICHAEL
I just … ever since she left, it’s like there’s this hole. And you guys are supposed to fill it, and instead, it’s just … not cutting it.
PAM
(genuinely sympathetic)
I’m sorry.
MICHAEL
Yeah, it’s okay.
(Beat)
It’s not okay. It sucks, all the time.
PAM
It’ll get better.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
(He sighs.)
PAM
You know, when Jim went to Stamford … I really thought that was it. Like I’d missed my chance. But then …
MICHAEL looks at her, a little hope dawning on his face.
PAM
Even when stuff seems really bad, it can work out.
MICHAEL
You think so?
PAM
Yeah, I do.
MICHAEL pats her on the hand, then holds the chip bag out to her. She takes one.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
(alone in the breakroom)
These people are the greatest. And I love them. I’m not ashamed to say it. And, okay, so maybe I don’t love them in a sexy way. But that’s okay.
Cut to RYAN and KELLY. RYAN is lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. KELLY is sprawled over him gracelessly, clinging onto him, mouth open - very unattractive sleeping. He looks at her. After a minute, he starts to brush her hair back from her face. He stops himself mid-act, makes a ‘what the hell am I doing? NOT AGAIN’ face, and then starts (futilely) trying to disentangle himself from her.
MICHAEL (voiceover over Ryan and Kelly)
Because love that’s sexy, and romantic, and feels all good and perfect? It hurts the most. Why do you think there are all these songs about it? What do you think James Blunt’s been talking about all these years?
Cut to OSCAR and ANDY in the kitchen. ANDY is reading out the MadLib with much aplomb. Oscar’s shaking his head, laughing in spite of himself.
MICHAEL (voiceover over Oscar and Andy)
Sometimes, you just love people because they’re your people. They’re there for you. They get your soul. They’ve got your back. The back of your soul is at the front of the line … of stuff that’s important to them.
Cut to PAM. She settles back down next to Jim. She stares at him thoughtfully, fondly, a little sympathetically.
MICHAEL (voiceover over Jim and Pam)
And they see into you, and they know how to tell you exactly what you want to hear. And, sometimes, exactly what you don’t want to hear.
Cut to ANGELA arriving back in the accounting area, straightening her nightgown, to discover the bed Andy made for her. There’s a note resting on top of her pillow. She picks it up, reads it. A wave of emotions - the most prominent being guilt - washes over her face. Then she sets it onto her desk and gets into bed.
The camera zooms in on the note: ‘Ang, Sweet dreams for my sweet dream. Love, Andy’
MICHAEL (voiceover over Angela)
Because love hurts. Sleepovers might not have rules, but guess what? Love does, and that’s number one … on some days. On other days, number one is that love feels good. It goes back and forth. It’s ever-changing. It can never just settle down in one place and stop kicking you in the heart. That’s not how it operates.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
Sure, we’re going to have our differences sometimes. Sometimes, we’re going to hate each other almost as much as we love each other. Like when Oscar gets all pissy about ancient history, or Jim would rather live with Stanley than me on a desert island.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the love in this office is constant. And it doesn’t mean that we can’t all … sleep together.
He smiles sagely.
END OF ACT THREE
TAG
INT. OFFICE - MAIN OFFICE - THE FOLLOWING MONDAY
Pam is answering the phone. Jim is typing on his computer while he takes a sales call. It’s your average, run-of-the-mill enthusiasm-devoid work day.
JIM (on phone)
Yes, Mr. Walker, I’ve got that information for you right here. Just a second, and I’ll pull it up on-
And then, with all the speed and savage ferocity of some carnivore descending on its hopeless prey, DWIGHT lunges across the desk and KISSES JIM ON THE CHEEK.
JIM drops the phone with a clatter. There are various exclamations of shock from the bystanders.
PAM (offscreen)
Oh my God!
JIM stares at Dwight, eyes wide, totally caught off guard.
DWIGHT
(triumphant)
FIRE.
He punches the air.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
Bull’s eye.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
He got me. He got me, fair and square. And now … I will never wash this cheek again.
He smiles innocently.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
Wait. What?
END
Character/Pairing: Ensemble
Spoilers: Set in between "Business Trip" and "Frame Toby"
Word Count: 2,336
Rating: PG
Summary: Michael decides to have a sleepover at the office. Shenanigans ensue. (Part 3 of 3)
Author's Note: At last, the end is upon us! (After all of ... three days.) I had so much fun with this; thank you so much, you guys, for receiving it so well. It has definitely brightened up my weekend. Possibly my general existence. ♥ all around, you beauteous humans!
(Also, the credit for 'bromigo' goes to firthgal. I am not capable of such GENIUS.)
ACT ONE
ACT TWO
ACT THREE
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
ANDY is sitting at the kitchen table, staring at the ladies’ room door fixedly.
ANDY
Angela’s just brushing her teeth. She should be out any minute.
Pan over to the door. It stays very closed.
ANDY
She is the lady-master of dental hygiene. It’s one of the things I love about her. All minty fresh, all the time. That’s my girl.
The door. Still closed.
ANDY
It’s gonna be a good night. I brought some MadLibs, because my little lady loves to mad lib. We tend to have our best times together when we’re playing MadLibs, in fact. Sooo.
The door. Still very, very closed.
ANDY
She should be out any minute.
ANDY starts drumming his fingertips against the cover of the MadLibs book.
INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’S OFFICE
Through the blinds, we see MICHAEL still lying there on his back. He sighs, turns over, eyes still open.
INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA
SPY SHOT from behind one of the plants. JIM and PAM are lying next to each other.
JIM
(softly)
Hey, Pam?
PAM
Yeah?
JIM
Truth or truth?
PAM
(pretends to ponder)
… Truth.
JIM
(serious; trying not to seem it)
Are you happy? Being back?
PAM
Yeah, I am.
JIM
(making sure)
You are.
PAM
I am. It’s home.
JIM smiles, relieved. They’re quiet for a few seconds.
PAM
Hey, Jim?
JIM
Yeah?
PAM
Truth or truth?
JIM
Ooh. That’s a tough one.
PAM
(hits him on the arm)
Hey, I went along with you.
JIM
Right. Fine. Truth.
PAM
(a little hesitantly)
What do you want to be when you grow up?
JIM
What?
PAM
(serious)
What do you want? Besides this?
JIM
Oh, Pam. How could anyone want any more than this? That’d just be greedy.
PAM
(laughs)
Yeah, okay.
They sink into silence. Both look genuinely contemplative.
JIM
(realizing)
I don’t really know.
PAM
(sympathetic)
Do you wish you did?
JIM is silent for a long time. His expression is thoughtful, a little unsettled. Pam watches him.
JIM
(reverting to funny)
Wait, no, I’ve got it. You know those people on the History Channel who dress up in costumes and pretend to be, like, Henry VIII or Rasputin and do live-action reenactments while the scholars all talk about them? One of those.
PAM
(disappointed for a minute, but she smiles)
Oh really.
JIM
Absolutely. Or a trainer at Sea World. Or, ooh, the next Ryan Seacrest. Or the current Wolf Blitzer. Just for the name. And the beard. Or a gladiator. I could fight Dwight.
PAM
(laughing)
I think Dwight might win.
JIM
Ohhh. Harsh.
They continue on joking around.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
I guess I don’t know. I want to be with Pam. And … apart from that, I guess I …
(He laughs a little, embarrassed and a little sad, as realization dawns)
I probably sound really lame right now. Don’t I.
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
ANDY is still waiting diligently, watching the bathroom door. OSCAR comes in.
ANDY
Heyyyy! Oscar. Mi bromigo. Que’s pasa-ing?
OSCAR
Nothing. Just wanted a cup of tea.
ANDY
Solid.
OSCAR
Right.
(He starts rummaging through the cupboard, takes out a mug and teabag, etc.)
What are you doing?
ANDY
Just waiting on the fiancee. She’s in the bathroom. Getting ready for bed.
OSCAR
(listens a minute)
Really? I don’t hear the water or anything.
ANDY
She’s really quiet.
OSCAR realizes what Andy has obstinately refused to - namely, that Angela is not in the bathroom - and looks at him sympathetically.
OSCAR TALKING HEAD
OSCAR
I know he dresses the way he dresses. I know he acts the way he acts. But when he’s not punching holes in things, he’s a pretty harmless guy. And no one deserves to be treated by Angela the way he’s treated by Angela.
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
OSCAR takes a second cup out of the cupboard and puts a teabag in it, then takes the first out of the microwave and gives it to Andy.
ANDY
(surprised)
Oh. Thanks.
OSCAR
Sure. Are those MadLibs?
ANDY
Yeah. Angela loves ‘em. Can’t get enough. Sheee is a little MadLib minx. You should watch that lady select an adverb. It might even turn you straight.
OSCAR
Yeah, I doubt that.
ANDY
I just thought we’d squeeze in a quick game or two before bed. But now … it’s getting pretty late. I’m sort of worried. She’s been in there a really long time.
OSCAR
Andy, I don’t think she’s in there anymore.
ANDY
What? Of course she’s in there. She said she would be.
OSCAR
Well, maybe you should go and check.
ANDY
Pfft. In the ladies’ room? I think not. I have some common decency.
OSCAR
No one’s in there, Andy.
ANDY
… fine, I’ll look. But when she gets mad at me, it’s all gonna be on you.
OSCAR
I’m okay with that.
ANDY disappears into the bathroom. OSCAR stares, sort of grimly knowing, at the camera, then retrieves his tea from the microwave. A few seconds later, ANDY comes back out.
ANDY
(sinking down at the table)
She’s not in there.
OSCAR
Yeah.
ANDY
Huh. Where is she?
OSCAR
I dunno. Maybe there was something she had to do.
ANDY
Like what?
INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN BUILDING - HALLWAY
A SHOT of the stairwell door. Some pretty frenzied noises coming from inside.
INT. OFFICE - KITCHEN
OSCAR
I don’t know. But you shouldn’t worry about it.
ANDY
Yeah. Okay. Good idea. I guess I’ll just … go find me a corner o’ floor. Settle in for the night.
OSCAR
That sounds like a good idea.
ANDY sits there, stationary and pathetic.
OSCAR
(taking pity on him)
Or. How about a game of MadLibs first?
ANDY
Seriously??
OSCAR
(sitting down across from Andy)
Sure, why not.
ANDY
Ohhh! It is on, my friend.
He flips the book open with relish, his enthusiasm renewed.
ANDY
Okay. Gimme an adjective.
OSCAR
Teutonic.
ANDY gives him a ‘what the hell kind of MadLib word is that?’ look.
ANDY
How do you spell that?
OSCAR
Like it sounds.
ANDY
Um. Okayyy. T-U-
OSCAR
Well, there’s a silent e.
ANDY
T-U-E-
OSCAR
T-E-U-
They play on.
INT. OFFICE - MICHAEL’S OFFICE
Through the blinds. MICHAEL is still lying there, wide awake. After about five seconds, he gets up, comes out of his office, careful to close the door behind him quietly. He begins to walk with quiet, careful steps through the office, looking down at his employees where they’re sleeping.
MICHAEL (voiceover)
These people are my family. They are my friends. They are - well, they were my enemies, too, but then Toby left. Thank God. The point is, they are all I need in this world to get me by. But … I don’t know. Lately, I just feel weird.
MICHAEL stops by Jim and Pam. Waits for a second, then leans down and taps Pam on the shoulder.
MICHAEL
(whispering)
Pam.
PAM
Nuh uh.
MICHAEL
(poking her shoulder repeatedly)
Pam. Pam. Pam.
PAM
Whaaat -
(she wakes up all the way)
Oh. Hi, Michael.
She shoots a ‘see, told ya’ glance at the camera.
MICHAEL
You can’t sleep either?
PAM
(dryly)
Nope.
MICHAEL
Huh. Well. Coincidence. Say, you want to go, I dunno, sit and talk ‘til we get tired?
PAM
(considers it for a second, then, with resignation)
Sure.
INT. OFFICE - BREAK ROOM
PAM and MICHAEL are sitting at one of the tables, sharing a bag of chips from the vending machine.
MICHAEL
I’m glad you’re back.
PAM
Yeah, me too.
MICHAEL
You do anything fun?
PAM
Yeah. It was a really cool experience.
MICHAEL
That’s good.
PAM
Yup.
They sit in silence broken only by the sound of chewing.
PAM
Michael, are you okay?
MICHAEL
What? Pam! Of course I’m okay. I’m great. It’s an office sleepover. It’s the best night of my life. If I were any happier, I’d probably be high. Not even on some kind of substance. Just on life.
PAM
Oh. Okay.
More crunchy silence.
MICHAEL
I just … I thought there’d be more lovin’ going on.
PAM
You mean like …?
MICHAEL
No, Pam, not like an orgy. I’m not going to throw an office orgy.
PAM
Sorry. Sometimes, with you, it’s just better to check.
MICHAEL
Maybe if it was just, like, you, and Ryan, and Jim, and Kelly, and - Angela, but if Angela decided to fancy herself up a little bit. And, ooh, if Karen still worked here-
PAM
Okay, Michael.
MICHAEL
-but in this office? With Kevin, and Meredith? With Creed? No one wants Creed in an orgy.
CREED TALKING HEAD
CREED
Actually, I know some folks who’d beg to differ.
INT. OFFICE - BREAK ROOM
MICHAEL
No, I just meant … you know. That vibe. That nice love vibe that happens, when we’re all together sometimes. Like a family.
PAM
Oh. That one.
MICHAEL
Yeah. Because … I don’t know, that used to just be like the greatest feeling, you know? Like that Christmas where I bought all the vodka, and we all just went crazy. Or that Christmas where you and Karen made margaritas. Like, those were times where I would just look at everybody and think, ‘This, this is the life.’
PAM
Maybe it’s because you were drunk.
MICHAEL
(irritated)
It’s not because I was drunk, Pam.
PAM
Sorry.
Silence. Then-
MICHAEL
I just … ever since she left, it’s like there’s this hole. And you guys are supposed to fill it, and instead, it’s just … not cutting it.
PAM
(genuinely sympathetic)
I’m sorry.
MICHAEL
Yeah, it’s okay.
(Beat)
It’s not okay. It sucks, all the time.
PAM
It’ll get better.
MICHAEL
Yeah.
(He sighs.)
PAM
You know, when Jim went to Stamford … I really thought that was it. Like I’d missed my chance. But then …
MICHAEL looks at her, a little hope dawning on his face.
PAM
Even when stuff seems really bad, it can work out.
MICHAEL
You think so?
PAM
Yeah, I do.
MICHAEL pats her on the hand, then holds the chip bag out to her. She takes one.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
(alone in the breakroom)
These people are the greatest. And I love them. I’m not ashamed to say it. And, okay, so maybe I don’t love them in a sexy way. But that’s okay.
Cut to RYAN and KELLY. RYAN is lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. KELLY is sprawled over him gracelessly, clinging onto him, mouth open - very unattractive sleeping. He looks at her. After a minute, he starts to brush her hair back from her face. He stops himself mid-act, makes a ‘what the hell am I doing? NOT AGAIN’ face, and then starts (futilely) trying to disentangle himself from her.
MICHAEL (voiceover over Ryan and Kelly)
Because love that’s sexy, and romantic, and feels all good and perfect? It hurts the most. Why do you think there are all these songs about it? What do you think James Blunt’s been talking about all these years?
Cut to OSCAR and ANDY in the kitchen. ANDY is reading out the MadLib with much aplomb. Oscar’s shaking his head, laughing in spite of himself.
MICHAEL (voiceover over Oscar and Andy)
Sometimes, you just love people because they’re your people. They’re there for you. They get your soul. They’ve got your back. The back of your soul is at the front of the line … of stuff that’s important to them.
Cut to PAM. She settles back down next to Jim. She stares at him thoughtfully, fondly, a little sympathetically.
MICHAEL (voiceover over Jim and Pam)
And they see into you, and they know how to tell you exactly what you want to hear. And, sometimes, exactly what you don’t want to hear.
Cut to ANGELA arriving back in the accounting area, straightening her nightgown, to discover the bed Andy made for her. There’s a note resting on top of her pillow. She picks it up, reads it. A wave of emotions - the most prominent being guilt - washes over her face. Then she sets it onto her desk and gets into bed.
The camera zooms in on the note: ‘Ang, Sweet dreams for my sweet dream. Love, Andy’
MICHAEL (voiceover over Angela)
Because love hurts. Sleepovers might not have rules, but guess what? Love does, and that’s number one … on some days. On other days, number one is that love feels good. It goes back and forth. It’s ever-changing. It can never just settle down in one place and stop kicking you in the heart. That’s not how it operates.
MICHAEL TALKING HEAD
MICHAEL
Sure, we’re going to have our differences sometimes. Sometimes, we’re going to hate each other almost as much as we love each other. Like when Oscar gets all pissy about ancient history, or Jim would rather live with Stanley than me on a desert island.
But that doesn’t change the fact that the love in this office is constant. And it doesn’t mean that we can’t all … sleep together.
He smiles sagely.
END OF ACT THREE
TAG
INT. OFFICE - MAIN OFFICE - THE FOLLOWING MONDAY
Pam is answering the phone. Jim is typing on his computer while he takes a sales call. It’s your average, run-of-the-mill enthusiasm-devoid work day.
JIM (on phone)
Yes, Mr. Walker, I’ve got that information for you right here. Just a second, and I’ll pull it up on-
And then, with all the speed and savage ferocity of some carnivore descending on its hopeless prey, DWIGHT lunges across the desk and KISSES JIM ON THE CHEEK.
JIM drops the phone with a clatter. There are various exclamations of shock from the bystanders.
PAM (offscreen)
Oh my God!
JIM stares at Dwight, eyes wide, totally caught off guard.
DWIGHT
(triumphant)
FIRE.
He punches the air.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
Bull’s eye.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
He got me. He got me, fair and square. And now … I will never wash this cheek again.
He smiles innocently.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
Wait. What?
END