Seattle
Okay this is my first public post on here forever. I was talking to a friend of mine the other night and it really made me realize alot of things. First of all its been 5 months since i left the camarilla and have gone out and met people outside the cam. My life is filled with alot less drama and it never ceases to amaze me how much drama people hold on to here. I have to admit that since i walked out of the Camarilla my life has become a little easier and alot less stressful. I would like to say i am better person for it. Most of my negativity to Seattle were based on the people i knew here and I was too close minded to realize there are other social groups out there that i might get along better in.
So as many of you know i am dating Puppy till the end of August (after that he moves to San Diego) but he had me do the most amazing simplistic thing. Every day i have to tell him three things (diffrent everyday) that make me happy. For the first time I am seeing seattle in a positive light and its a wonderous beautiful place.
I finally understand alot of things people were trying to explain to me this entire time (expecially Liam and Wes)I have opened my eyes to diffrent lifestyles and learned to be more accepting and understanding of the way diffrent people are. Understand that my lifestyle has changed, some think for the better others think for the worse, but i am comfortable with who i am and i think that says something.
Anyways like i was saying i was talking to one of my favorite people the other night and was listening to her drama (no matter what into some lives a little drama must fall) however what i found intresting is how people who are "helping" her help her with her issues by creating more drama. Strange isnt it? I just look at all the things i do now instead of listening to or being part of any drama (reading, watching movies, shooting pool, camping, hiking, playing in parks, whatever) and i wonder why i let myself surround myself with so much negativity. I realize now by not letting go of it at the time i was just as much a cause of the problem as everybody else. Looking back at how negative i was, i am embrassed. I hate the seeing and reading back and knowing that I allowed myself to become that kind of person. Some things I said honestly, somethings were said for spite, and most of it was said in anger, bitterness and just to be a bitch. Am I appologizing. No, not really to be honest. However some of it i regret. Not all, but most.
I hurt alot of really good friends over these past 5 months since I fell off the planet, walking away from people is not always the best thing in the world. But I really needed to get a better idea of what was going on in my life before i could do anything about it.
Now I am making this post public, after 5 months of hiding behind friends posts and watching where i go afraid of running into people i dont like, i think i am done with hiding. Post whatever you want. Accuse me of what you will. The fact remins i have real friends, and i know who stands by my side. If you want to try and cause go ahead. I dont believe in letting negative comments by people who are insignificant or whose sole purpose to deter me from being happy effect me anymore.
I think i did that long enough.
I am finally comfortable with who and what i am. 4 years late, but at least i get it, and better late then never.
Hope all of you find the happiness that you deserve based on your actions, much as i have found where i fit in finally.
So as many of you know i am dating Puppy till the end of August (after that he moves to San Diego) but he had me do the most amazing simplistic thing. Every day i have to tell him three things (diffrent everyday) that make me happy. For the first time I am seeing seattle in a positive light and its a wonderous beautiful place.
I finally understand alot of things people were trying to explain to me this entire time (expecially Liam and Wes)I have opened my eyes to diffrent lifestyles and learned to be more accepting and understanding of the way diffrent people are. Understand that my lifestyle has changed, some think for the better others think for the worse, but i am comfortable with who i am and i think that says something.
Anyways like i was saying i was talking to one of my favorite people the other night and was listening to her drama (no matter what into some lives a little drama must fall) however what i found intresting is how people who are "helping" her help her with her issues by creating more drama. Strange isnt it? I just look at all the things i do now instead of listening to or being part of any drama (reading, watching movies, shooting pool, camping, hiking, playing in parks, whatever) and i wonder why i let myself surround myself with so much negativity. I realize now by not letting go of it at the time i was just as much a cause of the problem as everybody else. Looking back at how negative i was, i am embrassed. I hate the seeing and reading back and knowing that I allowed myself to become that kind of person. Some things I said honestly, somethings were said for spite, and most of it was said in anger, bitterness and just to be a bitch. Am I appologizing. No, not really to be honest. However some of it i regret. Not all, but most.
I hurt alot of really good friends over these past 5 months since I fell off the planet, walking away from people is not always the best thing in the world. But I really needed to get a better idea of what was going on in my life before i could do anything about it.
Now I am making this post public, after 5 months of hiding behind friends posts and watching where i go afraid of running into people i dont like, i think i am done with hiding. Post whatever you want. Accuse me of what you will. The fact remins i have real friends, and i know who stands by my side. If you want to try and cause go ahead. I dont believe in letting negative comments by people who are insignificant or whose sole purpose to deter me from being happy effect me anymore.
I think i did that long enough.
I am finally comfortable with who and what i am. 4 years late, but at least i get it, and better late then never.
Hope all of you find the happiness that you deserve based on your actions, much as i have found where i fit in finally.