Where the words can't find you, to crawl inside you.

[dollhouselush]

i had a dream last night that i wrote a letter to oprah and she gave me a ton of money and everything was great. i woke up -- on the couch -- and realized that no matter how much money i come into, my problems will not go away. i will not be less depressed. i will not have less stress. i will not have the things i want. germany is a shithole -- worse than texas -- and i am finding myself drinking more and more often than i want, not working out, and in a general funk. i have been craving the chance to write but i don't have the time -- between work and school and taking care of a household entirely on my own. after paris with my mom, i am craving travel but can't get anyone else motivated to go or take care of my responsibilities while i do go. i just want to run away. i need a good list of classical music to research -- for study, for working out, for something new. also [ but this one's mostly for jessie], thinking about the new black crowes album -- anyone have it? thoughts?

feeling like an island but more like i'm drowning.