Cats vs. Dogs
This isn't mine... but if it was I'd be so proud of my genius!
Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort
of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something
in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would
strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow,
but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe, for now.....
Ok... time to cuddle my babies now! (The fuzzy ones under the age of 2, that is)
P.S. Check out my facebook page... SO HAPPY!
Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort
of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something
in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would
strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little
hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises
and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow,
but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be
more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
The bird must be an informant. I observe him
communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain
that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged
protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is
safe, for now.....
Ok... time to cuddle my babies now! (The fuzzy ones under the age of 2, that is)
P.S. Check out my facebook page... SO HAPPY!