::The reasons to why I'm so unstable::
Dear Journal,
yeah so this is a continuation of my earlier entry today. Now I'm just really fucking pissed.
I received like 3929829847 calls from mrs.lisa during class. and as soon as i got out the door she called again. it was to tell me the great information that i needed to get to title max and make a payment on my car since aparentally my dad had pawned the title to both mine and my brothers. without telling anyone. mrs.lisa said that she didnt know about it. and now i'm confused as to why the guy told me that they had been in there together before. I'm really angery. i work my fucking ass off(if only literally itd shrnk a bit) to bring in some money. i just get an apartment which will be taking a chunk out of my salary.plus monthly bills and i knew i'd have to now get insurance in my name. all together i was thinking 563=rent not very much for utilities maybe a hundred at most. 66 for comcast cable and net. plus insrunce which will be 100ish and food will probably depend on month but no more than 200 gas will for once be nothing since i won't go very far probably barly over 100. and now i will have to add in my 'car payments' to fuckin title max for 305 a month. lets add that up.
about 1435 a month. fuck i don't know how i'm going to do it. i mean maybe gas will be less and food too(since i'll be using anna's business sams card i can just stock up) hopfully. currently i make around that amount but if anything happened i'd be fucked.
shit and my phone. ewryh[opad
and just to move in to my apartment i might be lucky. 830 for deposit and rent(first month), 70 to get the water turned on. i have no idea how much to get my electricty on and food and 15 for my mailbox. and my phone bill is due.
hopfully between the check this week and next week i will have enough although i know that this weeks check will suck. i can skip out on anymore of my spanky's days. and at some points i may have to work on sundays. they keep asking me to workin sunday nights at spanky's. but i really think i need a day to rest.
fuckfuckfuck.
but pauls being so sweet about everything. although hes been telling me to have nothing to do with my father anymore which pisses me off. he's been saying that he would help me with bills even though i refuse to let him. its not that i don't want to have him there like it comes off as but it more of me feeling the need to have my own personal space for the first time in forever. and having a place my friends can come and hang out for the FIRST TIME EVER. and he doesn't like my friends. auifhadjs
i'm soo tired and my head hurts and my stomach is growling and he wants to go talk with mrs. lisa tonight. i'm just soo exhausted. and the week hasn't even started yet. i really wanted to have enough money to put some in a savings account and also invest some. i cant see straight. i should be finishing my homework right now but i have to shuck my eyes for a few.
yeah so this is a continuation of my earlier entry today. Now I'm just really fucking pissed.
I received like 3929829847 calls from mrs.lisa during class. and as soon as i got out the door she called again. it was to tell me the great information that i needed to get to title max and make a payment on my car since aparentally my dad had pawned the title to both mine and my brothers. without telling anyone. mrs.lisa said that she didnt know about it. and now i'm confused as to why the guy told me that they had been in there together before. I'm really angery. i work my fucking ass off(if only literally itd shrnk a bit) to bring in some money. i just get an apartment which will be taking a chunk out of my salary.plus monthly bills and i knew i'd have to now get insurance in my name. all together i was thinking 563=rent not very much for utilities maybe a hundred at most. 66 for comcast cable and net. plus insrunce which will be 100ish and food will probably depend on month but no more than 200 gas will for once be nothing since i won't go very far probably barly over 100. and now i will have to add in my 'car payments' to fuckin title max for 305 a month. lets add that up.
about 1435 a month. fuck i don't know how i'm going to do it. i mean maybe gas will be less and food too(since i'll be using anna's business sams card i can just stock up) hopfully. currently i make around that amount but if anything happened i'd be fucked.
shit and my phone. ewryh[opad
and just to move in to my apartment i might be lucky. 830 for deposit and rent(first month), 70 to get the water turned on. i have no idea how much to get my electricty on and food and 15 for my mailbox. and my phone bill is due.
hopfully between the check this week and next week i will have enough although i know that this weeks check will suck. i can skip out on anymore of my spanky's days. and at some points i may have to work on sundays. they keep asking me to workin sunday nights at spanky's. but i really think i need a day to rest.
fuckfuckfuck.
but pauls being so sweet about everything. although hes been telling me to have nothing to do with my father anymore which pisses me off. he's been saying that he would help me with bills even though i refuse to let him. its not that i don't want to have him there like it comes off as but it more of me feeling the need to have my own personal space for the first time in forever. and having a place my friends can come and hang out for the FIRST TIME EVER. and he doesn't like my friends. auifhadjs
i'm soo tired and my head hurts and my stomach is growling and he wants to go talk with mrs. lisa tonight. i'm just soo exhausted. and the week hasn't even started yet. i really wanted to have enough money to put some in a savings account and also invest some. i cant see straight. i should be finishing my homework right now but i have to shuck my eyes for a few.