The park was empty. Just one lady with a shriek of small yappy type dogs and an elderly couple sat on a park bench.

To avoid Miss Lovelace from Trumpton and her squawk of designer dogs, we walked quite close to the elderly couple. The man was smoking a roll-up, the lady was reading a magazine.

“What’s that smell?” asked Kato stopping to sniff the ( Read more... )

I had a bi-lateral mastectomy a few weeks ago and my recovery is frustratingly slow. Kato Walk has been contracted out to freelancers. Frodi happiness is not affected if he doesn’t walk. Kato gets miserable cabin fever if she doesn’t get out every 2-3 days. There are very few people that Kato knows / trusts well enough to be at the other end of the ( Read more... )

Kato was off-lead until I spotted an off-lead Staffordshire Terrorist. The Staffy seemed fully engaged trying to bury his own head.

Dog Law is that both owners put their dogs on lead until diplomacy with full peace treaty has been established. Not shouting “Don’t worry he’s only playing” as the recipient of the “only playing” may not interpret it ( Read more... )

“Dogsky!!” it was KGB cat sat on top of a gate post.

“Yo KG how’s it goin’ my main man cat bredren” said Kato

“Did I see you mewing to Da filth last week?” enquired KGB Cat

“Just helping out with enquiries” said Kato glancing over her shoulder at KGB Cat. Kato can just about cope now with close proximity to KGB Cat but avoids full on eye contact.

“Oh ( Read more... )

The Feds were clip-boarded up doing house-to-house enquiries. A Fed spotted me and gave me a cheery wave.

“Shit” I muttered knowing Kato’s attitude to strangers “Just be nice”

“Can I go off lead?” asked Kato spotting a window of opportunity

“No, because you’ll go in someone’s garage again and embarrass me. Just don’t growl and stuff”

“Stuff?”

“The ( Read more... )

A distressed posh lady in the park said she had lost her poodle puppy near the cricket pavilion. She indicated with her hands something about the size of a CD case.
When Kato was at school they did sniffing retrieve lessons. A hanky was sniffed, hidden and then the dogs went to locate it. In an alternate universe, Kato would deeply inhale the ( Read more... )

Kato walk be like DFS. It’s new sofa season. We passed four discarded sofas. Kato was drawn to a lavish looking plum sofa. Part of its bed mechanism  was sticking through the cushions surrounded by an ominous stain. Death by sofa bed, we’ve all been there. I’ve never been stabbed by our sofa bed but I have nearly been crushed by its “snap in place ( Read more... )

“Right” I said “I’m going to drop this prescription into the doctors and leave you tied up here behind this tree, I’ll be 1 minute tops”

“One whole minute, that’s a lifetime” Kato looked at me, I could see the forlorn realisation in her eyes that I really was about to dessert her.

“You can see me through the window” I said trying to hold back my ( Read more... )

A car was slowly trailing us. I turned and it drove past. It reappeared slowly kerb crawling behind us. ( Read more... )

Me: Just keep up, it’s not even funny

KGB Cat: Oy Dogsky, you chasing us or what?

Kato: Can’t...Ha ha ha ha...oh my days, ha ha ha ha...can’t...I’m dying here...I can’t even...oh my...he he he

KGB Cat: What happened to your human?

Kato: Don’t set me off...ha ha ha ha ha...you know fallen leaves disguising slippery mud on the field...ha ha ha ha...and ( Read more... )