A letter to Heather that I'm also posting here because she'll probably delete it without reading.
Heather,
I am deeply sorry for the things I've said and the way I've felt. I reacted very badly to your efforts to just protect yourself and your friends and family from a negative influence.
I'm sorry that I hoped so very much for the support that you were all unable to give, and that I needed it so very badly as to make you uncomfortable with my presence. I know now that the support will never come and I have stopped hoping for it.
I know I'm not welcome with the group anymore and suspect I never will be again. I can accept that. It's what I've done and I'll live with it. I can't just let go that I've hurt you, though. You are the wife of a dear friend and the mother of two more dear friends, and that would be reason enough to respect you if you weren't also a dear friend in your own right. I can accept that you're all happier and better off without me, however, I don't want it to be a hateful thing. If you could tell the others that I'm sorry for my efforts to try to get them to help me make you see that, just as I'm sorry I tried to enlist all of you to help me work things out with Andrea, I would appreciate that. If you don't feel like giving me that much either, I understand that too.
You've probably already deleted this, but I'll say again how sorry I am for all the pain I've caused everyone. I know I can't do anything to make it better, and nobody wants me to try. All I can do is try to make sure I don't hurt anyone else again.
Sincerely,
Jim
I am deeply sorry for the things I've said and the way I've felt. I reacted very badly to your efforts to just protect yourself and your friends and family from a negative influence.
I'm sorry that I hoped so very much for the support that you were all unable to give, and that I needed it so very badly as to make you uncomfortable with my presence. I know now that the support will never come and I have stopped hoping for it.
I know I'm not welcome with the group anymore and suspect I never will be again. I can accept that. It's what I've done and I'll live with it. I can't just let go that I've hurt you, though. You are the wife of a dear friend and the mother of two more dear friends, and that would be reason enough to respect you if you weren't also a dear friend in your own right. I can accept that you're all happier and better off without me, however, I don't want it to be a hateful thing. If you could tell the others that I'm sorry for my efforts to try to get them to help me make you see that, just as I'm sorry I tried to enlist all of you to help me work things out with Andrea, I would appreciate that. If you don't feel like giving me that much either, I understand that too.
You've probably already deleted this, but I'll say again how sorry I am for all the pain I've caused everyone. I know I can't do anything to make it better, and nobody wants me to try. All I can do is try to make sure I don't hurt anyone else again.
Sincerely,
Jim