(no subject)
It's almost been a year since my last post. Part of that is that I could not remember my password, but mostly because I have been so busy. Now that I am so old (25!) I have had so much to put up with. Student loans, rent, bills, applications, and so much more, I am suprised that I am doing this now. lol
Its funny, becuase I have gone back and read some of my old entries and it makes me think of how much things have changed, and of how so many things have not changed, its rather perplexing! For example, I read about meeting some people in a certain organization and how I thought that this would help get invited...not the case. I mean, this woman that I have met has been great at giving me information, getting in contact with people and so forth, but I am still not in, and it doesn't look like i'm gonna be in any time soon! I have started to some research for other places, but all I can do at this point is wait. so sad...
As for my relationship status, that is kinda in a mess right now. I mean I have been seeing Siad for almost a year now, but I can honestly say that I am not reall interested anymore, and havent been for quite some time. I mean, he is a really nice person and I know that he means well, but I don't think that this is going to be enough for me. I do see this realtionship getting stronger, and quite frankly, I am cautious about getting too serious with him. Again, he is a great guy but i feel that a future with him would be danger. Now, I'm not saying that I am afraid of him or that I think that he is going to do something to me, because I know that it is not the case. What I mean is that i feel that the relationship is EXTREMELY unstable. Unstable in the sense that I don't feel like he really knows what it means to take responsibility for hisself. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that times can be tough and we can all use sme help from our families, but I think that he has become quite comfortable in his situation. His parents help him out and I think that he has relied on this help for so long, that he is taking his sweet time to become independent...And I tink that aggravates me. Maybe i'm a little jealous; maybe i'm upset that my parents can't help me out in my struggle. I don't know, but that is where that is right now. ANother damper on the realtionship is that he is in NY and I am in Boston. Not to say that I didn't know that this may be a problem when we first started going out, but I now realize that I really have no intentions of moving to NY unless I go to school there. I mean, I don't want to sound selfish, but I reall have think of me right now. And again, he is a nice guy, especially because I can come off as "cold" at times, but I don't think that this is goona work...i gott let it go.
And as for the Boston scene, I've met someone that I like, but i feel like...actually i don't know what I feel at this point. Its sorta mixed actually. Again, he's a nice guy, but he is one of those guys that likes to spend time with his friends before anyone else. And no, I don't think that he is on the DL (LOL) Its just that I feel as though I am back at square 1. Now, we've spoken and he has said that he thinks of me more than I know, which is sweet, but that doesn't make feel better when I'm sad and lonely in my apartment. And I am not the type pf person that hopes and waits for a man to call me, I pick up the phone too...and leave a message if I have to but sometimes I don;t get a call back. And that leaves me wondering. Sometimes, I just want for hime to just come out with it. I'm not saying that I want to be in some deep realtionship, but if you're not into it, just say so, i'll get over it.
I guess i'm just waiting to be swept off my feet
Med school apps are going...i'll updat about that later, when I have something juicy to tell
Its funny, becuase I have gone back and read some of my old entries and it makes me think of how much things have changed, and of how so many things have not changed, its rather perplexing! For example, I read about meeting some people in a certain organization and how I thought that this would help get invited...not the case. I mean, this woman that I have met has been great at giving me information, getting in contact with people and so forth, but I am still not in, and it doesn't look like i'm gonna be in any time soon! I have started to some research for other places, but all I can do at this point is wait. so sad...
As for my relationship status, that is kinda in a mess right now. I mean I have been seeing Siad for almost a year now, but I can honestly say that I am not reall interested anymore, and havent been for quite some time. I mean, he is a really nice person and I know that he means well, but I don't think that this is going to be enough for me. I do see this realtionship getting stronger, and quite frankly, I am cautious about getting too serious with him. Again, he is a great guy but i feel that a future with him would be danger. Now, I'm not saying that I am afraid of him or that I think that he is going to do something to me, because I know that it is not the case. What I mean is that i feel that the relationship is EXTREMELY unstable. Unstable in the sense that I don't feel like he really knows what it means to take responsibility for hisself. Now, don't get me wrong, I know that times can be tough and we can all use sme help from our families, but I think that he has become quite comfortable in his situation. His parents help him out and I think that he has relied on this help for so long, that he is taking his sweet time to become independent...And I tink that aggravates me. Maybe i'm a little jealous; maybe i'm upset that my parents can't help me out in my struggle. I don't know, but that is where that is right now. ANother damper on the realtionship is that he is in NY and I am in Boston. Not to say that I didn't know that this may be a problem when we first started going out, but I now realize that I really have no intentions of moving to NY unless I go to school there. I mean, I don't want to sound selfish, but I reall have think of me right now. And again, he is a nice guy, especially because I can come off as "cold" at times, but I don't think that this is goona work...i gott let it go.
And as for the Boston scene, I've met someone that I like, but i feel like...actually i don't know what I feel at this point. Its sorta mixed actually. Again, he's a nice guy, but he is one of those guys that likes to spend time with his friends before anyone else. And no, I don't think that he is on the DL (LOL) Its just that I feel as though I am back at square 1. Now, we've spoken and he has said that he thinks of me more than I know, which is sweet, but that doesn't make feel better when I'm sad and lonely in my apartment. And I am not the type pf person that hopes and waits for a man to call me, I pick up the phone too...and leave a message if I have to but sometimes I don;t get a call back. And that leaves me wondering. Sometimes, I just want for hime to just come out with it. I'm not saying that I want to be in some deep realtionship, but if you're not into it, just say so, i'll get over it.
I guess i'm just waiting to be swept off my feet
Med school apps are going...i'll updat about that later, when I have something juicy to tell