OFFICIAL PICSPAM FRIDAY POST: THE DOCTOR'S WIFE
OFFICIAL PICSPAM FRIDAY POST: THE DOCTOR'S WIFE
Greetings, gentlebeings! Rather than melt my brain trying to get two picspams up this week, I decided to just wait and post the belated episode 4 spam today. Also, I seem to have some chronic low-level sinus rot, so if my captions sort of suck this round, that's my excuse. Without further ado--
I feel like I should make a joke here about Idris getting her ears boxed, but then I don't actually know what getting your ears boxed actually entails. Except that it's supposed to hurt.
How To Have A Domestic On The TARDIS, or: Where The Hell Was Amy Going, Anyway?
This particular action is going to come back to haunt the Doctor later. (Also, I wonder if anyone's clued Rory in to the fact that you can open the TARDIS doors in space without getting sucked into vacuum. Oh well, he knows NOW...)
"OH MY GOD CAN I KEEP IT?!"
Anyone else usually get the mail delivered this way? Thankfully, my mailman is nice enough not to knock on the front door and then punch the bills into my face when I answer...
"DAMN! Does everything get delivered like this in the future?! I'll take the bloke down the street who was at my stag over this any day, at least he greets with a smile..."
"I've got mail!" And he's really excited about it, too.
The Beeb should license someone to make paperweights out of these. I'd buy one.
The Doctor and Rory start using the console as an aid for stretching exercises.
That... sort of looks like the Mystery Science Theater 3000 logo.
"Uh... guys? Am I the only one who remembers what happened the last time the power went out in here?"
Uncle and Auntie aren't sure if this moment merits a popcorn.gif or not.
Usually, leaking vortex energy out of your hands is a cause for ALARM, not celebration!
So I understand this was a dream come true for a lot of people...
Creeper!Doctor, creeping in the shadows.
You know what I find impressive about this shot? How much of it isn't CGI.
"Doctor? I'm not so sure about this dryer... thingy. It's got a light shining out of it. I've seen Ghostbusters, appliances only give off light like this when they're possessed by Gozer."
All I could think of here was "OH GOD DOCTOR DON'T JUMP IN THAT TUB YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT KIND OF SLUDGE HAS COLLECTED AT THE BOTTOM"
"JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK GET IT OFF ME GET IT OFF"
"JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK GET IT OFF HIM" (Arthur makes the best OMGWTFBBQ faces. Seriously.)
Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Smith has his hands down his pants.
Now that is a tongue shot. Also, it looks like she just literally took a bite out of the Doctor and likes what she tastes.
The Doctor activates his Pond Shields.
Look at Rory back there, starting to laugh. He is fucking thrilled that someone else's face is getting ragged on for a change.
"That's racist!"
"Oh. Damn. Cat's out of the bag now. THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH, NEPHEW."
"What the hell? That was supposed to play Rick Astley!"
Matt Smith, master of the unintentional derpface.
One of these things is not like the other...
"Uh, did you guys see--"
"Yeah. We all saw it."
"STOP STARING, IT'S RUDE."
This is the Ponds, being unimpressed with the Doctor's bullshit.
This is the Doctor, not caring that they're unimpressed with his bullshit.
"Come on, Amy, don't be like that, of course I think you can take care of yourself... I just have to come with you because the plot says I have to, okay?"
It's just backed-up exhaust fumes. Nothing to see here.
OH MY GOD DOCTOR YOU UNBELIEVABLE DICK
I'm pretty sure Zachary Quinto made this same exact face while mind-melding with the Romulan on the Narada in the Star Trek reboot. /nerd
"Damn again. Now he really suspects something is up. FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID MALFUNCTIONING ORB, NEPHEW."
Uncle was unlucky enough to get an ear from a troll mage who fucked up trying to portal from Orgrimmar to Dalaran.
Okay, forget the fact that Auntie's got the Corsair's arm--can we talking about the stitching on that stump?! That is nasty! And it works?!
"Hey, Doctor, hi. Sooooooo the TARDIS door is locked. And we think you locked it. Who pissed in your Wheaties this morning?"
This looks rather remarkably like a shot from Vampires of Venice. I can't decide if it's the puffy vest, the proto-hedgehog hair, his facial expression, or a combination of all three.
Yeah, I'm seeing the resemblance to Helena Bonham-Carter.
"You're the TARDIS, and you're a woman. And you haven't burned up yet. I don't know how to feel about this."
"Stop talking. Brain thinking. Hush." YEAH, IT'S ANNOYING BEING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT, ISN'T IT, DOCTOR
"Hey, Doctorrrrrr... sorry to interrupt again, but there's a definite breeze in here now and that means something's getting possessed, right? I meant it when I said I've seen Ghostbusters!"
Obviously, he has to show off his ballet skills to all the women in his life. Like so:
"I fucking made this sonic screwdriver, didn't I? Of course I know how it works!"
"Dude, don't talk about the special settings where someone else might hear... that's just between you and me!"
House has redecorated. Rory doesn't like it.
Neither does Amy, for that matter. She doesn't think green is the TARDIS's color.
However, House really doesn't appreciate being given fashion advice from the gentleman in the puffy vest, and says so. Rory gets as far as "puffy vests are c--" before he shuts the hell up.
"It's finally happened, Amy. I always thought you'd turn me into the Raggedy Doctor through sheer force of will, but it turns out all you had to do was make me hang out with him for a while. Can I go kill myself now, please?"
EXCUSE ME, BUT WHY IS THE SONIC SCREWDRIVER GLOWING BLUE?
Very nice work from the Mill. (I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought that one wreck looked like the Space Jockey's ship from Alien, too.)
Matt! Tongue Shot! It's been a while!
I feel you, Rory. If I'd been faced with a bottomless pit as an obstacle, I would have just sat down on the edge and cried until House killed me out of irritation. Heights and I don't mix very well.
"I'm not picking up any bars. MOST COVERAGE IN AMERICA MY ASS, AT&T!"
"Okay okay, I'll switch us over to Verizon when we get home..."
Ten bucks says this is the face Matt gave his mom whenever he didn't get his way as a child.
With a little bit of this thrown in for good measure during his teens?
This is Idris, just as unimpressed with the Doctor's bullshit as the Ponds were.
"Young lady, do you have any idea what time it is?! Your mother and I--oh, wait."
Amy can't shake the nagging feeling that she just did this.
Then this happened, and it wasn't pretty. In more than one sense of the word.
Normally, I'd be all like "Hey! An ass shot!". However...
Holy shit, Arthur.
"Will you stop checking yourself out? This is serious stuff! The battery's dead and we haven't got any jumper cables!"
Again: normally, this sort of display should be cause for alarm. In this case, it just makes Idris badass.
So, this... is Rory's Corner of Unimaginable Torment? Actually, you know what, I'm not going to joke about this scene. I was rather genuinely disturbed by it. (Though my inner anthropologist wants to poke at the skeleton dummy.)
"What?"
I swear these two give the best-looking hugs. To each other, to others, whoever. I'm a big fan of Arthur's penchant for putting his hands in Karen's hair.
Matthew, that is a very interesting face. And you have Joker hair.
"Hello, pretty!"
"I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number...?"
"The pretty one? That's not Amy! You dialed the wrong number!"
"Hey, who turned out the lights?" (I'll get my coat.)
I get the feeling that driving this console is rather like riding Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey at Universal Studios. (If you've been on that ride, you know what I'm talking about.)
#arthur has bedroom hair
"Okay, just stay right here, and I'll go around the corner to check out the suspicious amount of green light coming from that direction. What could possibly go wrong?"
AW HALE NAW.
Amy's face = accurate for that situation.
"Hey guys, is this where the room party's at?"
"Wow, is this what the console room used to look like? It looks like the inside of an industrial dumpster!"
"Dude, we're not joking. There is NOT a room party in here. Go back down to the lobby, there's an open bar down there."
"Oh for fuck's sake! HELLO, GRAND CENTRAL FUCKING STATION!"
Saturn's gone to plaid rogue!
This is straight out of a horror film--close up, lighting, and all. Kudos, Richard Clark.
For those of you keeping track: that is not, in fact, David Tennant on the far right. Or his trench coat.
"Hey guys, is this where the room party's at?"
Amy: "She's the TARDIS? No fucking way."
Rory: *trying to figure out how this is medically possible*
"Isn't she gorgeous? I mean sexy. Sexy and gorgeous. Even as a human!"
"I told you he thought about the TARDIS that way, Rory!" (Also, a tip for the costuming department: they're called tank tops. You might want to check them out.)
"Is she checking me out? No, really. Is she checking me out?"
Please don't give us a tongue shot, Rory, Nephew's constituent atoms are going to land on it.
I'm pretty sure an inappropriate joke about surprise buttsex goes here.
And this is why I love Rory. Thank you, Neil Gaiman, for letting him get his nurse on.
I feel this particular face calls for a caption contest. Anyone?
"I'm pretty gangster myself."
"OH MY GOD! IT'S THE RAPTURE! IT ACTUALLY CAME!" (belated joke is no longer relevant)
"WELL HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO COME BACK FROM THIS?!"
SO THAT NEBULA LOOKS LIKE THE CRACK IN TIME AND THAT IS NOT OKAY
"Doctor, I really don't feel comfortable clapping right now--"
"Shutupshutupshutup, I'm trying to stall for time!"
What even are those pockets on the Doctor's jeans. No, seriously. They're fugly as hell.
Oh god Rory's crying. BRB losing my shit
I'M NOT CRYING IT'S JUST RAINING ON MY FACE
So they didn't comfort him. But seriously, guys, what do you do after a moment like that?
It's the return of the steampunk goggles! And the sex swing!
I'm fairly certain Rory touched those two wires together on purpose, just to make the Doctor shut up.
Whyyyyyyy is she listening to the floor with a stethoscope.
Good god, it's like a triple display of long lean gorgeousness.
This is so disgustingly domestic, I am in absolute love with it. Have I ever mentioned how much I love getting to see downtime on the TARDIS?
But then: "OH MY GOD, DOCTOR. Bunk beds? Seriously? YOU ARE THE MOST SOCIALLY OBLIVIOUS MANCHILD IN THE ENTIRE FUCKING UNIVERSE. This is why we've stuck with you rather than jumping ship. YOU NEED US TO RESCUE YOU FROM YOURSELF."
"Well fuck you too, asshole."
"Come on, Rory, he wants to have some alone time with the missus--"
So I found this slightly odd, the Doctor asking the TARDIS if she was there, because he's been talking to his ship from day one, hasn't he? Then again, actually being able to converse with her in spoken words puts a new spin on it, I suppose. He'll never think of her the same way again.
This is Neil Gaiman, tugging at my heartstrings.
One last spin, for good measure. If this did not make you feel something, you are a fucking cyborg.
Roll credits.
Screencaps by pineapple_sky.