Oct 13, 2011 00:40
Looking through my LJ Friends page, this place really does seem to be an echo chamber. That's actually a good thing, considering that I've been resisting what seems to be a real attempt to build continuity between real life and the Internet via social networks.
I have a Facebook account which I adopted some years ago to keep in contact with my family, which naturally is scattered about the country; I tend to keep it largely apolitical, mostly silly, and while there are points where I am candid (mostly about family matters, or reminiscing about nostalgic stuff from my high school years), I don't dare vent at all. It's too "real name-y", "real life-y" for that. I've considered adopting Twitter, but I've found that I care less to be "connected" like that when I get home from work. I'm not looking to monetize my ramblings, so here at LJ is the perfect place for me to really say what's on my mind at any given point and time, without filter.
That being said, let's retread the last week or so:
Work is ho-hum. I feel my work ethic has suffered. Am I that bored? It's just so damn difficult for me to get enthralled, excited, and focused about work. I think it's because my life outside it has degenerated to an empty shell within an empty shell.
This past Friday night was perhaps one of the greatest moments in my life -- I finally got to see Herbie Hancock (the guy who graces many of my user icons, including the one I'm using with this entry) live in concert. Words can't describe how cool it was to actually see the man break out a keytar and act a fool. I hope I'm that cool when I'm 71. Hell, I hope I'm alive when I'm 71.
Saturday, I signed the lease to my new place. As soon as I got home, I wished I could have moved Sunday. I gambled too hard on the relatively cheap living this place afforded me. This place sits in the most "tolerable" part of town, but even now, I'm thinking this whole town is just cursed. Yeah, it's mostly the byproducts of 'cism that brought it here, plus a gumbo of typical Cleveland-metro nonsense: over-dependence on "blue collar" incomes, shit urban planning, blind-eye turned to municipal faults, etc.
On another note, it really pisses me off, that a number of people living in a place like this, have to be so goddamn... nasty. If not with the way common areas are treated like a dumpster or a toilet, in ways so destructive that they help no one. Someone punched a hole in the wall in the main hallway. I don't even want to talk about the staircase I take on the regular, and Saturday, the uncharacteristic warmth and sun was interrupted by some woman ranting on the phone outside to some dillweed in a string of curses I'm sure could have been heard in Nova Scotia. Now I didn't say shit, because the #1 thing people will throw back at you when you dare call them out on their poor behavior is that you're being "bougie" or otherwise uptight. The #1 thing I would say in response is "SUCK MY DICK", and that probably wouldn't help the problem at all.
So I might as well leverage the money I'm making and get the fuck out.
Shit is gay and in the building.
Sunday was the one-year anniversary of my father's passing. I'm doing better, but not. There have been days this past year, where I just did not want to be around people at all, but I forced myself to do so to make a paycheck. There have been days where the slightest thing would shut me off. I certainly don't want to relive that horrid sequence of events that begun when I was hyped for a real vacation, got the worst phone call ever, and it snowballed into the worst thing I'd ever had to pull myself through. The only reason I even go out sometimes is to push myself toward toward a place where I don't have to think about or relive those events. Remembering the outpouring of love and support, even from complete strangers makes it easier to digest.
Also, fuck the Eagles right now. The "Dream Team" was some bullshit from jump, but this has been nothing short of a real nightmare. The only bright spot is that unless the Eagles somehow salvage this season into a playoff run or perhaps the unspeakable, Andy Reid is finally gone. Oh well, at least the Lions are good -- I'm not a Detroit Lions fan but I like seeing a team that was so shitty turn itself around. Happened before with the Aints, I'm hoping it happens with them. If only to shut up the Packer fan chorus that has gotten increasingly annoying after the Super Bowl... and throwing their darts not at the team who has a chance to unseat them in division, but at the team who must have touched their buttholes this crappy offseason. Buttnuggets.
In addition, fuck anyone who says that the Eagles' current lot is the result of some so-called divine retribution for signing an ex-con on as their QB. This in a country where oligarchs rape us in the ass and fool a good number us into thinking that challenging them is "hate on success" and "redistribution of wealth". Turdburglars, please. I seriously not only want to slap the taste out of their mouths, but I want to curb stomp them, and toss them off a bridge that it angers me so.
Speaking of sophomoric insults -- Beavis and Butt-Head is coming back?! The real deal, overseen and designed by Mike Judge, and not hog-tied by the MTV brass to cash in on its popularity? Sign me up.
Anxious as ever,
Dr. Claw
the people's team,
sports,
nonsense,
the mundane