so bad.
i dont really know why i'm so unhappy right now. i actually don't think i've ever been this uphappy before ever.
I feel like so much stupid shit is happening to me. and everything that happens just makes the other things worse and i keep fucking up shit with people and everytime i try to make things better it backfires and I keep thinking about shit too much and everything is just getting ruined. i fucking hate it and i'm regretting stuff that i say and the feelings i have about people. Im so confused about so much stuff right now its seriously getting to me. my mom is going fucking crazy. she refuses to come with me to get my senior pictures because why would she want to sit around and not do shit for 2 hours and watch me get my pictures taken. hm. i dont know mom. maybe because they're usually something special. Okay.. Right now shes at the hospital with my aunt because my grandpa is in DNR mode or whatever the fuck that means. so pretty much not only is that something shitty i have to put up with, but now she's going to go even more crazy because of the stress that that is putting on her. and that shit isn't even the start of it, work seriously stresses me out now that beckah is gone. now that I have a new teacher with me in my class i feel like all i got was an extra student. she doesn't know what the hell is going on and so i'm stuck with 20 three year olds basically by myself. i swear to god it would be easier with her not even there. Hamlet stresses me out in english. the fact that I haven't taken pictures yet for photography stresses me out. PROM stresses me out, the drama has already begun, let me tell you. and i know it will only get worse. The only person who i seriously feel like understands me because they're the only person always around that i can always just complain and bullshit to is marie. thank god for her because she always just listens and understands where I'm coming from and its nice to talk to someone that agrees with me on just about everything that I feel.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but now i feel like I can't even talk to anyone anymore besides marie because usually the person i call the most is the one who i feel like is hurting me the worst. I just don't understand shit right now. I'm never this crazy with my life i don't know what is going on.
All this shit needs to just get over with and i need to get away from everything. cabo in june will seriously be my savior.
I feel like so much stupid shit is happening to me. and everything that happens just makes the other things worse and i keep fucking up shit with people and everytime i try to make things better it backfires and I keep thinking about shit too much and everything is just getting ruined. i fucking hate it and i'm regretting stuff that i say and the feelings i have about people. Im so confused about so much stuff right now its seriously getting to me. my mom is going fucking crazy. she refuses to come with me to get my senior pictures because why would she want to sit around and not do shit for 2 hours and watch me get my pictures taken. hm. i dont know mom. maybe because they're usually something special. Okay.. Right now shes at the hospital with my aunt because my grandpa is in DNR mode or whatever the fuck that means. so pretty much not only is that something shitty i have to put up with, but now she's going to go even more crazy because of the stress that that is putting on her. and that shit isn't even the start of it, work seriously stresses me out now that beckah is gone. now that I have a new teacher with me in my class i feel like all i got was an extra student. she doesn't know what the hell is going on and so i'm stuck with 20 three year olds basically by myself. i swear to god it would be easier with her not even there. Hamlet stresses me out in english. the fact that I haven't taken pictures yet for photography stresses me out. PROM stresses me out, the drama has already begun, let me tell you. and i know it will only get worse. The only person who i seriously feel like understands me because they're the only person always around that i can always just complain and bullshit to is marie. thank god for her because she always just listens and understands where I'm coming from and its nice to talk to someone that agrees with me on just about everything that I feel.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but now i feel like I can't even talk to anyone anymore besides marie because usually the person i call the most is the one who i feel like is hurting me the worst. I just don't understand shit right now. I'm never this crazy with my life i don't know what is going on.
All this shit needs to just get over with and i need to get away from everything. cabo in june will seriously be my savior.