last trip to Alabama
There are a lot of things I want to remember from this last trip. It's hard to believe it was only two weeks.
Asking if she missed me (slow nod, quiet "yeah", shy smile)
Giving her massages on the bed (feeling her slim waist and hips beneath my hands, hearing her constantly exclaim in surprise at how good it felt, timid "thank yous" over and over again as she felt guilty)
Getting massages from her (feeling her hands up and down my back and neck, getting smacked in the butt for something or other)
Playing card games and staying up all night (hours of Red7 and 7 Wonders Duel and talking until 6am, peeling back the layers of who we thought the other was over the past couple of years, clearing up misunderstandings from years ago, and telling each other secrets, talking about sex and love and dreams)
Working with her in lab (she always thanked me for my help, she always ended up working late if I wasn't helping, she ended up working till at least 4am regardless, was she trying to spend more time with me, at the end of the night she would always be wide awake again and ready to go back, and would sometimes even skip/bounce when finishing up)
Eating "lunch" together (we would always eat around midnight together, mostly quietly, sometimes sharing little things, her on Reddit and Lightroom, me on news and idle thoughts, it was always a little bit awkward and strained when someone else would butt in to talk, but it immediately because relaxed and easy when it was just the two of us)
Watching TV with her (documentary starring Morgan Freeman looking for the divine, watching episodes of Mushi-shi and Angel Beats)
Recommending anime and manga to one another (she read Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer basically overnight)
Going hiking and zip-lining and having dessert and visiting the Sloss Furnaces together (she took a lot of pictures of me at Sloss, I took a lot of her at Red Mountain, including her semi-bored "wheeee" as we jumped on the rope swing - funny, was that dream prophetic? - ziplined 5/8, had a dream about that 5/2 or earlier)
Cooking together (buying food together, cooking it in the little hotel room and eating eggs and bacon one day, xlb and noodles another)
Joking about not making too much noise when walking around (I was directly below her, when I joked about it she would mock-stomp across the floor, we got to walk as lightly or heavily as we wanted, I would be able to hear whenever she woke up or took a shower)
"Reading" books together (her on audiobooks, me on pirated ebooks, Alloy of Law and Dawn of Wonders, both finding out we share some tastes with books)
Awkward fights (each full of emotions and wanting to fix things, her telling me that she never vents like this and how she must be incredibly comfortable with me to do so, me not putting on my "face" so much around her)
Dreaming about her (total of 4-5 times now, most not too detailed, but the one that left me waking up angry was the one where I was kissing her)
Awkward confessions (her feeling conflicted about spending time with me, re: both her boyfriend and also my time away from other tasks, me feeling happy to be with her and telling her so, an angry car ride on my part when I realized this culminating in those last painful confessions, both of us telling each other how much we liked one another, her saying she couldn't reciprocate, and me saying I would be terrible for her because of our personality mismatches)
Spooking her as she came out of the storage shed (was listening to something on her earphones, didn't see my head popping past the door, turned around with a load of sample bottles and being very startled/angry/surprised and laughing about it after)
Looking at a rash that had started developing on her neck after she got here (softly touching her neck, her flipping her hair out of the way and dropping the shoulder of her shirt so I could run my fingers over her)
Stories of our past (her telling me about why she doesn't hang out with people at work, faking a seizure, me getting my motorcycle and injuring myself sliding down a hill)
Quiet compliments from her (when I asked why she was so awkward about being told she was pretty and joking about whether or not I was pretty, then asking if I really was attractive, and her saying I was on account of being so tall and handsome, her repeatedly saying how awesome I was to do things, and crazy to live my life as I have especially with motorcycles, a quiet remark about how I had a nice singing voice when I softly sang the title line of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")
Seeing her half-naked (as she popped out of the shower to grab something, with a towel clutched to her chest but doing little to hide the rest of her)
Seeing her in her pajamas afterwards (soft, pleasingly round breasts swaying as she walked with perky nipples pushing against the cloth)
Goodbyes (telling each other how much we would miss this, her asking for a hug from the bed and the two of us holding one another for a long moment)
Her eyes, her hair, that smile - she's not stellar when she's got her resting face on or her work face, but when she smiles and there's a glint of mischievousness dancing in her eyes, she's gorgeous. She smells good, she's silly, she's so much like me, she buys silly things she never uses, she's a girly girl and a tomboy in one, she's creative, she's modest, she's mature yet a child at heart, she's got tons of trivia in her head and stays in tune with current events in the geek world, plays board games with a killer edge, she plans her trips with impressive spreadsheets and itineraries and logs which credit cards she uses, she makes things right when she's wrong or slow. She's beautiful, in body and mind.
I haven't crushed this hard in forever; I didn't know I could feel like this after Elaine. We've pledged to try to remain friends, or at least occasional activity partners. I'm half-dreading Monday because I don't want to see what I might have lost. I brought back her tea and some little trinkets she had purchased ("on clearance at the drug store! so cheap!") that I'll drop off. I'm going to keep one of her hair clips.
This wasn't this trip but:
Getting caught in the rain as we decided to go buy groceries late at night (one of our first nights if not the first, laughing together at the sheer ridiculuosness of how sudden the storm was, first finding out how adorable she could be, i.e. dancing a little bit to clean off her shoes at the entry mat)
Labeling things in lab (her being very passionate about using the labelers, when I asked if she liked it, she did a little stompy dance saying "it's so much fun!")
Asking if she missed me (slow nod, quiet "yeah", shy smile)
Giving her massages on the bed (feeling her slim waist and hips beneath my hands, hearing her constantly exclaim in surprise at how good it felt, timid "thank yous" over and over again as she felt guilty)
Getting massages from her (feeling her hands up and down my back and neck, getting smacked in the butt for something or other)
Playing card games and staying up all night (hours of Red7 and 7 Wonders Duel and talking until 6am, peeling back the layers of who we thought the other was over the past couple of years, clearing up misunderstandings from years ago, and telling each other secrets, talking about sex and love and dreams)
Working with her in lab (she always thanked me for my help, she always ended up working late if I wasn't helping, she ended up working till at least 4am regardless, was she trying to spend more time with me, at the end of the night she would always be wide awake again and ready to go back, and would sometimes even skip/bounce when finishing up)
Eating "lunch" together (we would always eat around midnight together, mostly quietly, sometimes sharing little things, her on Reddit and Lightroom, me on news and idle thoughts, it was always a little bit awkward and strained when someone else would butt in to talk, but it immediately because relaxed and easy when it was just the two of us)
Watching TV with her (documentary starring Morgan Freeman looking for the divine, watching episodes of Mushi-shi and Angel Beats)
Recommending anime and manga to one another (she read Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer basically overnight)
Going hiking and zip-lining and having dessert and visiting the Sloss Furnaces together (she took a lot of pictures of me at Sloss, I took a lot of her at Red Mountain, including her semi-bored "wheeee" as we jumped on the rope swing - funny, was that dream prophetic? - ziplined 5/8, had a dream about that 5/2 or earlier)
Cooking together (buying food together, cooking it in the little hotel room and eating eggs and bacon one day, xlb and noodles another)
Joking about not making too much noise when walking around (I was directly below her, when I joked about it she would mock-stomp across the floor, we got to walk as lightly or heavily as we wanted, I would be able to hear whenever she woke up or took a shower)
"Reading" books together (her on audiobooks, me on pirated ebooks, Alloy of Law and Dawn of Wonders, both finding out we share some tastes with books)
Awkward fights (each full of emotions and wanting to fix things, her telling me that she never vents like this and how she must be incredibly comfortable with me to do so, me not putting on my "face" so much around her)
Dreaming about her (total of 4-5 times now, most not too detailed, but the one that left me waking up angry was the one where I was kissing her)
Awkward confessions (her feeling conflicted about spending time with me, re: both her boyfriend and also my time away from other tasks, me feeling happy to be with her and telling her so, an angry car ride on my part when I realized this culminating in those last painful confessions, both of us telling each other how much we liked one another, her saying she couldn't reciprocate, and me saying I would be terrible for her because of our personality mismatches)
Spooking her as she came out of the storage shed (was listening to something on her earphones, didn't see my head popping past the door, turned around with a load of sample bottles and being very startled/angry/surprised and laughing about it after)
Looking at a rash that had started developing on her neck after she got here (softly touching her neck, her flipping her hair out of the way and dropping the shoulder of her shirt so I could run my fingers over her)
Stories of our past (her telling me about why she doesn't hang out with people at work, faking a seizure, me getting my motorcycle and injuring myself sliding down a hill)
Quiet compliments from her (when I asked why she was so awkward about being told she was pretty and joking about whether or not I was pretty, then asking if I really was attractive, and her saying I was on account of being so tall and handsome, her repeatedly saying how awesome I was to do things, and crazy to live my life as I have especially with motorcycles, a quiet remark about how I had a nice singing voice when I softly sang the title line of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")
Seeing her half-naked (as she popped out of the shower to grab something, with a towel clutched to her chest but doing little to hide the rest of her)
Seeing her in her pajamas afterwards (soft, pleasingly round breasts swaying as she walked with perky nipples pushing against the cloth)
Goodbyes (telling each other how much we would miss this, her asking for a hug from the bed and the two of us holding one another for a long moment)
Her eyes, her hair, that smile - she's not stellar when she's got her resting face on or her work face, but when she smiles and there's a glint of mischievousness dancing in her eyes, she's gorgeous. She smells good, she's silly, she's so much like me, she buys silly things she never uses, she's a girly girl and a tomboy in one, she's creative, she's modest, she's mature yet a child at heart, she's got tons of trivia in her head and stays in tune with current events in the geek world, plays board games with a killer edge, she plans her trips with impressive spreadsheets and itineraries and logs which credit cards she uses, she makes things right when she's wrong or slow. She's beautiful, in body and mind.
I haven't crushed this hard in forever; I didn't know I could feel like this after Elaine. We've pledged to try to remain friends, or at least occasional activity partners. I'm half-dreading Monday because I don't want to see what I might have lost. I brought back her tea and some little trinkets she had purchased ("on clearance at the drug store! so cheap!") that I'll drop off. I'm going to keep one of her hair clips.
This wasn't this trip but:
Getting caught in the rain as we decided to go buy groceries late at night (one of our first nights if not the first, laughing together at the sheer ridiculuosness of how sudden the storm was, first finding out how adorable she could be, i.e. dancing a little bit to clean off her shoes at the entry mat)
Labeling things in lab (her being very passionate about using the labelers, when I asked if she liked it, she did a little stompy dance saying "it's so much fun!")