Dang Darn Damn
Wow! It's been a month since I have updated this. Well hmmm, everything is about the same since we last left off. I still have no direction in my life. I'm thinking in January that I might take a class at BCC if I'm still working there cause I get free tuition for the classes. I can't take one now cause I'm still on probation for another month. I will have less in my paychecks cause of my pension has just started and so has the life insurance. I'm still broke with now $8,000 of debt on my credit cards all because of my mom. Again I'm living life for others and not for myself. Been doing that all my life trying to please others and not myself. I need to get the house organized so I'm going to finally admit to defeat. I try to do everything on my own and I'm just not strong enough. What does this mean? I need you guys help. On Labor day weekend, I'll have a three day weekend. If any one of you guys can help, I need help to get the house in shape. It needs paint, cleaning, and decorating. I will supply free stuff such as food and alcohol (after painting and not before cause painted windows sounds cool only when drunk)
On to the topic I write most about! It's raining men! What the hell is going on that just before I date a nice guy something come up and we push the date off. In the mean time they go out with another guy and bam they are together for a long time. I chatted with Brad this morning, a guy who approached me first about dating months ago. We talked and chatted. He was really charming. We were about to go out but I had to work a saturday, I just started the job in May. He met a guy in NYC and then been happy together for 3 months now. we chat about once a month now and he is in love with the guy so I guess it's a happy ending. Say thing happen with jordan. Talked to him for weeks on the phone and we had a date for him to come down. Then in snowed so we pushed it off. He went out on a date with another guy and after a year and a half they are still together. Jordan's ex is still leary of me cause Jordan did have a big crush on me and the ex heard stories on how cool Jordan me were becoming. It's cruel how I find relationalship men but seems never destine for me. I will get the drunks and pushers and will finally walk away from them being hurt or knowing I should be able to find better.
I need a compass. I'm writing about the past when I should really focus on the future and going in a direction like West.
On to the topic I write most about! It's raining men! What the hell is going on that just before I date a nice guy something come up and we push the date off. In the mean time they go out with another guy and bam they are together for a long time. I chatted with Brad this morning, a guy who approached me first about dating months ago. We talked and chatted. He was really charming. We were about to go out but I had to work a saturday, I just started the job in May. He met a guy in NYC and then been happy together for 3 months now. we chat about once a month now and he is in love with the guy so I guess it's a happy ending. Say thing happen with jordan. Talked to him for weeks on the phone and we had a date for him to come down. Then in snowed so we pushed it off. He went out on a date with another guy and after a year and a half they are still together. Jordan's ex is still leary of me cause Jordan did have a big crush on me and the ex heard stories on how cool Jordan me were becoming. It's cruel how I find relationalship men but seems never destine for me. I will get the drunks and pushers and will finally walk away from them being hurt or knowing I should be able to find better.
I need a compass. I'm writing about the past when I should really focus on the future and going in a direction like West.