(no subject)
It's odd how infrequently I update this thing, especially considering how often I used to. I guess this is where I'm coming to vent. Im sure no one checks this anymore, or everyone forgot I even had one, so this should be highly beneficial.
Ok, So I'm struggling with this whole New Orleans thing. I have decided that after Decadence this year I am moving back to Chicago, out of pure necesity. People ask me why I even moved here in the first place, a question I found hard to answer. School? Definitely not. If I wanted to attend Loyola I would have stayed in Chicago. Tulane is not realistic and UNO is the Parkland of New Orleans. I am frustrated with my choice to come here but I feel that I will learn more and appreciate it once I have left. Anthropologists state that to better understand your own world you have to immerse yourself in the unfamilar. I achieved it once with my move to Chicago and I am doing so again with this New Orleans experience. Maybe if I wasn't living in third-world-USA, I would have a different opinion.
In other news, I am so sick of being the one that gets blamed for everything. It's exhausting. I always try to make everyone else happy, regardless of what that costs to my personal well being. I'm sick of being a supreme people pleaser. It's just gotten so old, so tiring.
Bartending is a quality job. I'm making $32,000 a year. I meet amazing people on a nightly basis. It's making me a vampire though. I sleep until one in the afternoon daily, even if I haven't worked the night before. My body clock is so fucked up. I'm worried about my trip home for Christmas and how I will function. That's another thing, my trip home. It seems to fluctuate daily, whether or not I will be able to go, if I'm still in this relationship, etc.
I'm SO sick of the drama.
My father has been emailing me rather frequently as of late. Part of me is happy to be back in communication with him, a part of me knows that it's going to be fleeting and sooner or later, most likely sooner, I will regret ever having responded to his email.
In less than one week I will be in Champaign. I'm nervous and excited. We shall see how this goes.
Ok, So I'm struggling with this whole New Orleans thing. I have decided that after Decadence this year I am moving back to Chicago, out of pure necesity. People ask me why I even moved here in the first place, a question I found hard to answer. School? Definitely not. If I wanted to attend Loyola I would have stayed in Chicago. Tulane is not realistic and UNO is the Parkland of New Orleans. I am frustrated with my choice to come here but I feel that I will learn more and appreciate it once I have left. Anthropologists state that to better understand your own world you have to immerse yourself in the unfamilar. I achieved it once with my move to Chicago and I am doing so again with this New Orleans experience. Maybe if I wasn't living in third-world-USA, I would have a different opinion.
In other news, I am so sick of being the one that gets blamed for everything. It's exhausting. I always try to make everyone else happy, regardless of what that costs to my personal well being. I'm sick of being a supreme people pleaser. It's just gotten so old, so tiring.
Bartending is a quality job. I'm making $32,000 a year. I meet amazing people on a nightly basis. It's making me a vampire though. I sleep until one in the afternoon daily, even if I haven't worked the night before. My body clock is so fucked up. I'm worried about my trip home for Christmas and how I will function. That's another thing, my trip home. It seems to fluctuate daily, whether or not I will be able to go, if I'm still in this relationship, etc.
I'm SO sick of the drama.
My father has been emailing me rather frequently as of late. Part of me is happy to be back in communication with him, a part of me knows that it's going to be fleeting and sooner or later, most likely sooner, I will regret ever having responded to his email.
In less than one week I will be in Champaign. I'm nervous and excited. We shall see how this goes.