(no subject)
Story Or Series Title: Softness Against The Hardened Heart
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: SailorJupiter94
Full Name (plus titles if any): Ayame Kigamaru
Full Species(es): L's-wife-Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "a river of flowing black water" (as described by L)
Eye Color (include adjectives): "beautiful navy blue eyes" and "appear to be saphires" (both L-given descriptions)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "nice pale face"? It seems odd to single that out alone, and it's another description by L that just does not sound like something he'd say. Has a scar on her ribcage from her father shooting her.
Special Possessions (if any): L's love, gets pregnant with his kid
Annoying Origin: she's some detective L's age that "the other detectives told" him about, and seeing as she's "brilliant for her age" and "a pretty decent fighter to" he hires her to help with the Kira Investigation.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: L is instantly interested in every aspect of her personal life and past, Light thinks she's drop-dead gorgeous and falls in love with her, Misa hates her because the Suethor doesn't like Misa therefore Misa has to be a stupid bitch.
Annoying Special Abilities: Getting her name written into a Death Note doesn't kill her.
Other Annoying Traits: slaps L within minutes of meeting him because he was "rude" to her, to which he does nothing; existing only so the story can be about her personal angst; simultaneously gets both L and Light's undying love because of her beauty; is smarter than everyone, has a pregnancy that chronologically makes no sense.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
"I am your partner. You may call me Ryuzaki." I answered, smiling. The girl stared at me causiously before placing her soft, cold hand in mine and shaking it. I smiled warmly at her but (as I expected), she didn't return it. She merely nodded curtly and returned her attention to the folder in her hands.
"Hello Ryuzaki. The only thing you need to know about me is that my name is Ayame and I like my space when I'm working. As long as we have that clear, we'll get along fine. Understood?" Ayame demanded. I stared at her, impressed with her straight-forwardness. Ayame cleared her throat, obviously impatient with waiting on my reply.
"Well, you certainly don't beat around the bush. Perhaps you should relax a little. That might stop those wrinkles from appearing on your forehead when you frown, and you won't look so much older than you really are." I replied, still smiling and completely unaware that what I said might have offended her. Scowling, Ayame swiftly lifted her hand and slapped the side of my face. I stumbled away. When they said she was strong, they weren't kidding.
"Don't ever say anything so rude to me again! Got it?! I'll relax when I have the time, but right now, I'm here to solve a mystery. There is no time to relax. Perhaps if you didn't spend so much time relaxing, this mystery wouldn't be taking so long to solve!" she shouted. I rubbed my cheek, still staring at Ayame. She sure was fisty. How could someone as uptight as her help me with this case? Even if she was a genius, she seriously should've considered the relaxing thing.
One: L doesn't shake hands. Two: he is her superior. He makes the demands, not her. Three: if she overreacts that badly by someone as oddball a type as L giving such a ridiculous insult, she is clearly not a professional and certainly not someone anyone would want to hire. Realistically, most people wouldn't even take that as insult, upon first meeting L--they'd see it as further proof of how weird he is.
And fisty? Unfortunate typos FTW!
"Ayame... there's something I really need to know. How did you conclude that the second Kira is a female? I mean, that's a pretty heavy accusation, so how could you figure it out?" Ryuzaki questioned. I smirked. So he was shocked at how smart I was, eh? How disappointing. I was expecting him to know the answer immediately after watching the tapes. It was so obvious.
"Can't you tell? The way the tapes just abruptly changed... it's strange isn't it. If in fact the first Kira and the second Kira crossed paths, then Kira number one could possibly have known who Kira number two was. In fact, the second Kira might have wanted to have the first Kira notice her. And if the first Kira explained his purposes to the second Kira, then that's why this tape was so different from the others. Furthermore, why would the second Kira agree with the first Kira? As you should know, boys would not so easily agree on such things.
Yeah. Males never agree on anything. Especially when they're working together on creating viable plans. And why would the Sue use "boy?" If she's a professional detective, she should at least use some objective terminology.
"No one cares about my problems, so why bother talking about them?" Ayame stated darkly. I stared at her curiously. What had happened to her that made her so cold? Ayame stood up and walked over to a tree. She glanced at me and sighed, seeing that I wasn't about to drop the subject. "What are your questions Ryuzaki? I guess I have no choice now." Ayame stood infront of me with her arms folded across her chest.
"Good. Well, for starters, how did you get that scar? Why are you so uptight? Have you ever taken a break from being serious? Why do you mutter things that sound like "mother" in your sleep? And how long have you been drinking?" I asked. Ayame's eyes were widened. She gaped at me, trying to figure out which question was the one I really wanted answered. For a few moments she didn't say anything. Then, she turned away and stared at the sky again. I sat and waited patiently to hear what her answers were.
"Am I really that cold to people? Do I really push people away? Hmph, ten years alone and I still turned out like my parents." she muttered. I continued staring at her. She turned to me, and for the first time, I saw tears glistening in her eyes. "The reason I'm so uptight, is because I haven't really trusted anyone for ten years. I haven't changed this attitude at all for ten years, and I've only been drinking for one year. It doesn't make sence that I whisper those things in my sleep, because... the truth is, I didn't exactly have a "mother". The woman who raised me was never there for me. She was always passed out on the couch or on the table. And my father is the reason I have this scar. He killed my mother when I was seven years old, then he tried to kill me. Luckily, the bullet was taken out and the wound was stitched up before I could die from blood loss. Of course, that bullet wasn't much compared to the beatings I got before that. Yes, my father abused me. He called me a freak and he called me useless. Does this answer your questions?" A tear slid down Ayame's face and she turned away, trembling. I stood up and placed my hand on her shoulder.
There are so many things wrong with this...like L badgering her about her past since Chapter One completely negating that first statement. How woe-is-me can you get? She has a career where objectivity is incredibly important. Coworkers are not there to be BFFs. It's nice if one can have such close ties with the people they work with, but it's not something anyone's owed. If she needs to talk about herself that badly, she should see a counselor. As for being shot being nothing compared to everything else her father did to her? Way to completely downplay the subect of abuse due to wanting OTT angst for a fictional character.
I don't even want to get started on the self-serving block'o'text response from the Sue who claimed she talks to no one because no one's interested. Would it have killed the Suethor to have a couple of pauses in there, to make it at least slightly realistic?
Misa
Ayame Kigamaru will jump from the roof of the building she is in and fall into the traffic below.
Misa wrote out the girls' death quickly. Light couldn't know this was Misa's doing. Misa placed the Death Note back into her purse and peered out of the window, waiting to see Ayame fall to her death. Luckily, for Misa, she was able to see who Ayame was while Light was with L. She still couldn't get passed her good fortune. Then, she saw her. Ayame was still sleeping, and she was stumbling towords the edge of the roof. The wind was roaring and making Ayame's hair fly.
"Oh yay, the wench will be torn to pieces by all of those speeding cars!" Misa exclaimed, clapping her hands. Misa anticipated the moment when Ayame would jump. It was only seconds away. This was it! She was on the ledge, she was spreading out her arms... she jumped! "Wait! What's going on? She fell back onto the roof? NO! Someone grabbed her! Someone intervened and stopped the Death Note?!" Misa screamed angrily. She ran back home, pouting and screaming. It didn't work this time, but it would in the future. Ayame Kigamaru would die.
L
My heart nearly leapt forth from my throat. Ayame almost killed herself! I held her face in my hands and stared at her. She was unconcious. That confused me. Was she sleep walking? Just then, I heard screaming. I saw that a woman was running in the forest. She looked oddly farmiliar. Then I remembered. The color of her hair... I could see it from the top of the roof. Platinum blonde. Just like the hairs that were on the tape. Could that be Kira? Or the second Kira? My eyes widened. Kira knows who she is! Oh, I should have kept her a secret. This is my fault. Ayame might die because of me! That explains this suicide attempt. Ayame hasn't ever done anything like sleep walking! She was supposed to die because of Kira's power.
Isn't there some little rule of if the death specified isn't possible, the victim will just die of the default heart attack?
...this is before the Sue sleeps with L, so the whole her-being-pregnant-with-L-spawn isn't a valid excuse yet (even though according to the story, she finds out she's pregnant three days after doing the deed), though logically, it would seem pregnancy would just delay death until after the victim had given birth and the does-not-affect-humans-under-however-many-hundred-days rule would no longer be an issue...but this is solely speculation on my part.
My lips didn't want to part with his, but for some reason, they did anyways. I looked at his closed eyes, wishing he was only sleeping. Then, the truth hit me harder. I couldn't take it. I held him in my arms and sobbed. The other detectives in the room stared at me with pity in their eyes. Light tried to place his hand on my shoulder but I pushed it away.
"No! NOOOOOO!!!" I screamed, tears pouring from my eyes. "Please... not L! Not L!!" I sobbed until every tear in my body had left me. My eyes were sore when I finally did stop, but I refused to close them. I didn't want L to leave my sight. I loved him. I loved him! He couldn't have done this to me. Why did he leave me?! My grip on his arms tightened and I sobbed into his chest. After about an hour, the other detectives had to pull me away from him. I did struggle, but I had no choice but to watch helplessly as they carried L away from me. Then I realized who was holding me back. Light. I punched him away.
"Ayame, what are you doing?" he demanded. I scowled and glared at him.
"Don't you ever touch me! I know you're Kira. You... it's your fault you killed L. I know how you really feel about me. L told me a few months ago. Light, I could never feel the same way about you. L has fully claimed me and I could never love a monster like you!" I cried coldly. Light looked dumbfounded. Then his expression changed to anger. He jerked open the door then slammed it behind him. I curled up into a ball and covered my eyes. "L... I love you so much. I always will." I placed my hand on my stomach which had become a little bit bigger and much harder. L's child was still in side of me... and I would do anything I could to keep it safe
So...self...serving...
The Suethor then got bored and fast forwarded things to the Light's death scene, which was practically a mention except for where she made sure to point out Light was of course paying special attention to the Sue even in death, then we get an eight sentence wrap-up on Misa, and then it finally ends with how the Sue spawned an L-lookalike baby "a few months later" despite the fact that she got pregnant before L died and there's years between his death and Light's.
- crossposted to marysues
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: SailorJupiter94
Full Name (plus titles if any): Ayame Kigamaru
Full Species(es): L's-wife-Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): "a river of flowing black water" (as described by L)
Eye Color (include adjectives): "beautiful navy blue eyes" and "appear to be saphires" (both L-given descriptions)
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "nice pale face"? It seems odd to single that out alone, and it's another description by L that just does not sound like something he'd say. Has a scar on her ribcage from her father shooting her.
Special Possessions (if any): L's love, gets pregnant with his kid
Annoying Origin: she's some detective L's age that "the other detectives told" him about, and seeing as she's "brilliant for her age" and "a pretty decent fighter to" he hires her to help with the Kira Investigation.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: L is instantly interested in every aspect of her personal life and past, Light thinks she's drop-dead gorgeous and falls in love with her, Misa hates her because the Suethor doesn't like Misa therefore Misa has to be a stupid bitch.
Annoying Special Abilities: Getting her name written into a Death Note doesn't kill her.
Other Annoying Traits: slaps L within minutes of meeting him because he was "rude" to her, to which he does nothing; existing only so the story can be about her personal angst; simultaneously gets both L and Light's undying love because of her beauty; is smarter than everyone, has a pregnancy that chronologically makes no sense.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
"I am your partner. You may call me Ryuzaki." I answered, smiling. The girl stared at me causiously before placing her soft, cold hand in mine and shaking it. I smiled warmly at her but (as I expected), she didn't return it. She merely nodded curtly and returned her attention to the folder in her hands.
"Hello Ryuzaki. The only thing you need to know about me is that my name is Ayame and I like my space when I'm working. As long as we have that clear, we'll get along fine. Understood?" Ayame demanded. I stared at her, impressed with her straight-forwardness. Ayame cleared her throat, obviously impatient with waiting on my reply.
"Well, you certainly don't beat around the bush. Perhaps you should relax a little. That might stop those wrinkles from appearing on your forehead when you frown, and you won't look so much older than you really are." I replied, still smiling and completely unaware that what I said might have offended her. Scowling, Ayame swiftly lifted her hand and slapped the side of my face. I stumbled away. When they said she was strong, they weren't kidding.
"Don't ever say anything so rude to me again! Got it?! I'll relax when I have the time, but right now, I'm here to solve a mystery. There is no time to relax. Perhaps if you didn't spend so much time relaxing, this mystery wouldn't be taking so long to solve!" she shouted. I rubbed my cheek, still staring at Ayame. She sure was fisty. How could someone as uptight as her help me with this case? Even if she was a genius, she seriously should've considered the relaxing thing.
One: L doesn't shake hands. Two: he is her superior. He makes the demands, not her. Three: if she overreacts that badly by someone as oddball a type as L giving such a ridiculous insult, she is clearly not a professional and certainly not someone anyone would want to hire. Realistically, most people wouldn't even take that as insult, upon first meeting L--they'd see it as further proof of how weird he is.
And fisty? Unfortunate typos FTW!
"Ayame... there's something I really need to know. How did you conclude that the second Kira is a female? I mean, that's a pretty heavy accusation, so how could you figure it out?" Ryuzaki questioned. I smirked. So he was shocked at how smart I was, eh? How disappointing. I was expecting him to know the answer immediately after watching the tapes. It was so obvious.
"Can't you tell? The way the tapes just abruptly changed... it's strange isn't it. If in fact the first Kira and the second Kira crossed paths, then Kira number one could possibly have known who Kira number two was. In fact, the second Kira might have wanted to have the first Kira notice her. And if the first Kira explained his purposes to the second Kira, then that's why this tape was so different from the others. Furthermore, why would the second Kira agree with the first Kira? As you should know, boys would not so easily agree on such things.
Yeah. Males never agree on anything. Especially when they're working together on creating viable plans. And why would the Sue use "boy?" If she's a professional detective, she should at least use some objective terminology.
"No one cares about my problems, so why bother talking about them?" Ayame stated darkly. I stared at her curiously. What had happened to her that made her so cold? Ayame stood up and walked over to a tree. She glanced at me and sighed, seeing that I wasn't about to drop the subject. "What are your questions Ryuzaki? I guess I have no choice now." Ayame stood infront of me with her arms folded across her chest.
"Good. Well, for starters, how did you get that scar? Why are you so uptight? Have you ever taken a break from being serious? Why do you mutter things that sound like "mother" in your sleep? And how long have you been drinking?" I asked. Ayame's eyes were widened. She gaped at me, trying to figure out which question was the one I really wanted answered. For a few moments she didn't say anything. Then, she turned away and stared at the sky again. I sat and waited patiently to hear what her answers were.
"Am I really that cold to people? Do I really push people away? Hmph, ten years alone and I still turned out like my parents." she muttered. I continued staring at her. She turned to me, and for the first time, I saw tears glistening in her eyes. "The reason I'm so uptight, is because I haven't really trusted anyone for ten years. I haven't changed this attitude at all for ten years, and I've only been drinking for one year. It doesn't make sence that I whisper those things in my sleep, because... the truth is, I didn't exactly have a "mother". The woman who raised me was never there for me. She was always passed out on the couch or on the table. And my father is the reason I have this scar. He killed my mother when I was seven years old, then he tried to kill me. Luckily, the bullet was taken out and the wound was stitched up before I could die from blood loss. Of course, that bullet wasn't much compared to the beatings I got before that. Yes, my father abused me. He called me a freak and he called me useless. Does this answer your questions?" A tear slid down Ayame's face and she turned away, trembling. I stood up and placed my hand on her shoulder.
There are so many things wrong with this...like L badgering her about her past since Chapter One completely negating that first statement. How woe-is-me can you get? She has a career where objectivity is incredibly important. Coworkers are not there to be BFFs. It's nice if one can have such close ties with the people they work with, but it's not something anyone's owed. If she needs to talk about herself that badly, she should see a counselor. As for being shot being nothing compared to everything else her father did to her? Way to completely downplay the subect of abuse due to wanting OTT angst for a fictional character.
I don't even want to get started on the self-serving block'o'text response from the Sue who claimed she talks to no one because no one's interested. Would it have killed the Suethor to have a couple of pauses in there, to make it at least slightly realistic?
Misa
Ayame Kigamaru will jump from the roof of the building she is in and fall into the traffic below.
Misa wrote out the girls' death quickly. Light couldn't know this was Misa's doing. Misa placed the Death Note back into her purse and peered out of the window, waiting to see Ayame fall to her death. Luckily, for Misa, she was able to see who Ayame was while Light was with L. She still couldn't get passed her good fortune. Then, she saw her. Ayame was still sleeping, and she was stumbling towords the edge of the roof. The wind was roaring and making Ayame's hair fly.
"Oh yay, the wench will be torn to pieces by all of those speeding cars!" Misa exclaimed, clapping her hands. Misa anticipated the moment when Ayame would jump. It was only seconds away. This was it! She was on the ledge, she was spreading out her arms... she jumped! "Wait! What's going on? She fell back onto the roof? NO! Someone grabbed her! Someone intervened and stopped the Death Note?!" Misa screamed angrily. She ran back home, pouting and screaming. It didn't work this time, but it would in the future. Ayame Kigamaru would die.
L
My heart nearly leapt forth from my throat. Ayame almost killed herself! I held her face in my hands and stared at her. She was unconcious. That confused me. Was she sleep walking? Just then, I heard screaming. I saw that a woman was running in the forest. She looked oddly farmiliar. Then I remembered. The color of her hair... I could see it from the top of the roof. Platinum blonde. Just like the hairs that were on the tape. Could that be Kira? Or the second Kira? My eyes widened. Kira knows who she is! Oh, I should have kept her a secret. This is my fault. Ayame might die because of me! That explains this suicide attempt. Ayame hasn't ever done anything like sleep walking! She was supposed to die because of Kira's power.
Isn't there some little rule of if the death specified isn't possible, the victim will just die of the default heart attack?
...this is before the Sue sleeps with L, so the whole her-being-pregnant-with-L-spawn isn't a valid excuse yet (even though according to the story, she finds out she's pregnant three days after doing the deed), though logically, it would seem pregnancy would just delay death until after the victim had given birth and the does-not-affect-humans-under-however-many-hundred-days rule would no longer be an issue...but this is solely speculation on my part.
My lips didn't want to part with his, but for some reason, they did anyways. I looked at his closed eyes, wishing he was only sleeping. Then, the truth hit me harder. I couldn't take it. I held him in my arms and sobbed. The other detectives in the room stared at me with pity in their eyes. Light tried to place his hand on my shoulder but I pushed it away.
"No! NOOOOOO!!!" I screamed, tears pouring from my eyes. "Please... not L! Not L!!" I sobbed until every tear in my body had left me. My eyes were sore when I finally did stop, but I refused to close them. I didn't want L to leave my sight. I loved him. I loved him! He couldn't have done this to me. Why did he leave me?! My grip on his arms tightened and I sobbed into his chest. After about an hour, the other detectives had to pull me away from him. I did struggle, but I had no choice but to watch helplessly as they carried L away from me. Then I realized who was holding me back. Light. I punched him away.
"Ayame, what are you doing?" he demanded. I scowled and glared at him.
"Don't you ever touch me! I know you're Kira. You... it's your fault you killed L. I know how you really feel about me. L told me a few months ago. Light, I could never feel the same way about you. L has fully claimed me and I could never love a monster like you!" I cried coldly. Light looked dumbfounded. Then his expression changed to anger. He jerked open the door then slammed it behind him. I curled up into a ball and covered my eyes. "L... I love you so much. I always will." I placed my hand on my stomach which had become a little bit bigger and much harder. L's child was still in side of me... and I would do anything I could to keep it safe
So...self...serving...
The Suethor then got bored and fast forwarded things to the Light's death scene, which was practically a mention except for where she made sure to point out Light was of course paying special attention to the Sue even in death, then we get an eight sentence wrap-up on Misa, and then it finally ends with how the Sue spawned an L-lookalike baby "a few months later" despite the fact that she got pregnant before L died and there's years between his death and Light's.
- crossposted to marysues