(no subject)
Story Or Series Title: Some Will Change
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: NothingThere2Hurt
Full Name (plus titles if any): Tabitha Vegliacich, better known as "Tabby."
Full Species(es): demonic-Lolita!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): short black hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): "piercing green eyes" that stare "like a peeping tom through a window."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "very pale skin and you could almost see through her she was so thin."
Special Possessions (if any): "a silver half-face plate that covered her left part of her forehead and her eye and cheek." A BFF named Shelby who already has a Death Note and shinigami, though this seems to have to little to do with the actual story.
Annoying Origin: She's a 14-year-old who bumps into Light as he's waiting to kill Ray Penbar. Light "couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She was just so simple, it was complicated. He started to talk to her and get to know her, and ever since, they’ve been going out."
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Light's true love. Ryuuk acts like a rapist around her. Hangs around with Light and L.
Annoying Special Abilities: getting possessed by a serial killer from the early 80s, dying by turning to dust after an exorcism is performed on her and then becomes a demon to come back to life.
Other Annoying Traits: Thinking Light would date a 14-year-old and hang out with her when he has L with him. Makes Ryuuk evil and has him threaten to write the Sue's name in his own notebook, which causes Light to panic, trip, and knock his notebook to the ground, allowing the Sue to pick it up and be able to see Ryuuk, who then kidnaps her.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
“Dammit, go, Raito!” She shouted, piercing the low tone and echoing through the trees. “Just go. I’ll be fine.”
“Tabby…” Raito pouted. He looked up at her sadly. She looked back. “Ryuuku, don’t hurt her.”
“Oh I won’t.” He replied, lowering his head to lick her face. A look of pure disgust covered it and she trembled in his grasp. Raito looked at L.
“If he hurts her, I swear to God--”
“If he hurts her, you aren’t doing anything to me.” L responded, grabbing Raito’s arms and handcuffing them. “It’s completely up to that thing whether or not he hurts her.”
“I know, but I’m going with you now not because I’m Kira, but because she wants me to.” He looked back up at the tree and Ryuuku spread his giant blue wings. “I’ll kill you if you harm her in the slightest.”
Unfortunately, this is perhaps the one instance in nine chapters of L ever being in character.
He sniffed, trying to not cry, and L turned around from the front seat.
“Are you going to cry?” L interrogated, smirking at him. “Huh, sissy boy?” He hit Watari’s arm and Watari slammed on the brakes, sending Raito against the driver’s seat. Raito let out a grunt and stared at L with blurred vision.
“I’m not going to cry.” Raito argued. L smiled and sat back in his seat right. Raito’s look still lingered and L looked in the rear view mirror, rearranging it so that he could see Raito clearly. Raito sat back up and leaned against the leather seats. L smiled into the mirror, his eyes with dark circles staring endlessly at Raito.
“You sure do look it.” L replied, not blinking. He didn’t break his eye contact to unwrap a Hershey’s kiss and eat it.
“I… I am not going to cry, Ryuuzaki…” Raito retorted, a single tear falling from his eye. L giggled.
“Sure doesn’t look like you’re winning. You look plum miserable. Are you missing your little girlfriend?” Raito shook his head.
“I’m just worried about her.” Another tear fell.
“You’re such a fucking baby!” L cried out, turning around and hitting Raito. “How the hell can you be worried about some slut such as herself and not be worried about the near future! You are going to be executed within the next few hours!”
“Not until my baby is safe from that death god.”
...
L walked up and grabbed the bars.
“How’s your stay going?”
“Miserable.”
“Well, I am here to make your life a bit more miserable.” He held up a small television and turned the volume up.
“We’re here, live, in downtown Tokyo where a young teenager is causing major havoc in the central parts! She got out of a car and shot up a laundry mat, walking out into the streets and shooting at the pedestrians on the sidewalks. Could this be Kira?” a news woman reported, sounding panicky. Raito squinted his eyes, looking at a close up picture of the suspect. “The suspected teenager is Tabitha Vegliacich, a young American teenager who is here in Japan on a foreign exchange. We will have more on this story as--” There was a loud scream and the woman dropped her microphone. Many other people’s screams could be heard and the gun shots were fired.
Of course she's Kira. Shooting up a laundry mat is totally the same as ridding the world of killers/criminals. Incidentally, this is the only point anywhere in this story we hear the Sue's a foreign exchange student, though you'd think that would have been a rather large detail to work around, Light hooking up with a fourteen-year-old student who's not even going to be around for long and by all rights, should be in school/with kids her own age, instead of hanging around him.
“Stop it, Yoshiro!” Ryuuku instructed. Tabitha’s body formed a light yellow glow for an outline and a sort of mist left her mouth, forming something in front of her. She fell to the ground and the demon of Yoshiro Miyazuchi stood there. He was tall like Ryuuku, but he was gold and black with what looked like shredded bandages hanging off of his body. He smiled as he stood there and put both hands on his hips. Raito ran over to Tabitha and tried to hug her. Yoshiro held out his arm and pushed him back, knocking him to the ground.
“No. You don’t touch a demon possessed child until he or she has awaken.” Yoshiro replied, looking at him with a caveat look. “The very skin on her bones will turn to ash and she will turn into dust, leaving only her spirit, which will turn into a demon. That’s what happened to me.”
...I feel a little cheated that the Suethor bothered to note the killer was an 80s murderer without some sort of pop culture reference being thrown in. At least sing a Culture Club song or something...
Raito pulled on a tee shirt and walked in, rubbing his eyes. He looked and saw L, looking in total surprise up at Ryuuku and someone else beside him. Raito stared at the shorter one beside Ryuuku.
That someone had short black hair and a silver half-face plate that covered her left part of her forehead and her eye and cheek. She was wearing a black dress that was partially shredded as if she had gotten into a fight. She had very pale skin and you could almost see through her she was so thin.
“Raito.” The voice was multi-voiced, but one voice rang out through them all -- Tabitha’s. He stared and she looked down. “It’s me, Raito.” He neared her and tried to bring a smile about his face.
“Tabby?” She nodded.
“I… I had to come see you…” She looked up at him. “I’m ashamed… I’m ashamed, Raito. I don’t want to be in this form. But…” She looked back down. “I can’t help it.”
“No. Don’t be ashamed. You’re still as beautiful as ever.”
Y'know, aside from it being specificed, and "gigantic Mary Janes" being repeatedly brought up, there's been pretty much nothing to indicate this Sue is supposed to be a Lolita. And how is a voice multi-voiced?
Once they had ordered, the two sat down and talked for a bit. They were just doing the normal chit chat thing, when Raito came up. He pulled up a chair and joined their conversation, but once Shelby went to the bathroom, he started to talk to Tabitha to get to know her a bit better.
By the end of the entire lunch period, they had already gotten to know each other pretty well. They had just become good friends like that!
“Well, I think I need to be heading home!” Raito said, standing and stretching.
Raito and Tabby grew more into a great relationship, soon becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. As they got to know the other more, they became really close. Eventually, they got to a point where they were inseparable and finally, Raito popped the question 4 years later on her 18th birthday. This goes to show how true and real this love is… on either path, mass murderer Kira or not, they still found each other.
How romantic. She bumps into him, just like before, so obviously, this repeat of events proves she and Light are truly soul mates.
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: NothingThere2Hurt
Full Name (plus titles if any): Tabitha Vegliacich, better known as "Tabby."
Full Species(es): demonic-Lolita!Sue
Hair Color (include adjectives): short black hair
Eye Color (include adjectives): "piercing green eyes" that stare "like a peeping tom through a window."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: "very pale skin and you could almost see through her she was so thin."
Special Possessions (if any): "a silver half-face plate that covered her left part of her forehead and her eye and cheek." A BFF named Shelby who already has a Death Note and shinigami, though this seems to have to little to do with the actual story.
Annoying Origin: She's a 14-year-old who bumps into Light as he's waiting to kill Ray Penbar. Light "couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She was just so simple, it was complicated. He started to talk to her and get to know her, and ever since, they’ve been going out."
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Light's true love. Ryuuk acts like a rapist around her. Hangs around with Light and L.
Annoying Special Abilities: getting possessed by a serial killer from the early 80s, dying by turning to dust after an exorcism is performed on her and then becomes a demon to come back to life.
Other Annoying Traits: Thinking Light would date a 14-year-old and hang out with her when he has L with him. Makes Ryuuk evil and has him threaten to write the Sue's name in his own notebook, which causes Light to panic, trip, and knock his notebook to the ground, allowing the Sue to pick it up and be able to see Ryuuk, who then kidnaps her.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
“Dammit, go, Raito!” She shouted, piercing the low tone and echoing through the trees. “Just go. I’ll be fine.”
“Tabby…” Raito pouted. He looked up at her sadly. She looked back. “Ryuuku, don’t hurt her.”
“Oh I won’t.” He replied, lowering his head to lick her face. A look of pure disgust covered it and she trembled in his grasp. Raito looked at L.
“If he hurts her, I swear to God--”
“If he hurts her, you aren’t doing anything to me.” L responded, grabbing Raito’s arms and handcuffing them. “It’s completely up to that thing whether or not he hurts her.”
“I know, but I’m going with you now not because I’m Kira, but because she wants me to.” He looked back up at the tree and Ryuuku spread his giant blue wings. “I’ll kill you if you harm her in the slightest.”
Unfortunately, this is perhaps the one instance in nine chapters of L ever being in character.
He sniffed, trying to not cry, and L turned around from the front seat.
“Are you going to cry?” L interrogated, smirking at him. “Huh, sissy boy?” He hit Watari’s arm and Watari slammed on the brakes, sending Raito against the driver’s seat. Raito let out a grunt and stared at L with blurred vision.
“I’m not going to cry.” Raito argued. L smiled and sat back in his seat right. Raito’s look still lingered and L looked in the rear view mirror, rearranging it so that he could see Raito clearly. Raito sat back up and leaned against the leather seats. L smiled into the mirror, his eyes with dark circles staring endlessly at Raito.
“You sure do look it.” L replied, not blinking. He didn’t break his eye contact to unwrap a Hershey’s kiss and eat it.
“I… I am not going to cry, Ryuuzaki…” Raito retorted, a single tear falling from his eye. L giggled.
“Sure doesn’t look like you’re winning. You look plum miserable. Are you missing your little girlfriend?” Raito shook his head.
“I’m just worried about her.” Another tear fell.
“You’re such a fucking baby!” L cried out, turning around and hitting Raito. “How the hell can you be worried about some slut such as herself and not be worried about the near future! You are going to be executed within the next few hours!”
“Not until my baby is safe from that death god.”
...
L walked up and grabbed the bars.
“How’s your stay going?”
“Miserable.”
“Well, I am here to make your life a bit more miserable.” He held up a small television and turned the volume up.
“We’re here, live, in downtown Tokyo where a young teenager is causing major havoc in the central parts! She got out of a car and shot up a laundry mat, walking out into the streets and shooting at the pedestrians on the sidewalks. Could this be Kira?” a news woman reported, sounding panicky. Raito squinted his eyes, looking at a close up picture of the suspect. “The suspected teenager is Tabitha Vegliacich, a young American teenager who is here in Japan on a foreign exchange. We will have more on this story as--” There was a loud scream and the woman dropped her microphone. Many other people’s screams could be heard and the gun shots were fired.
Of course she's Kira. Shooting up a laundry mat is totally the same as ridding the world of killers/criminals. Incidentally, this is the only point anywhere in this story we hear the Sue's a foreign exchange student, though you'd think that would have been a rather large detail to work around, Light hooking up with a fourteen-year-old student who's not even going to be around for long and by all rights, should be in school/with kids her own age, instead of hanging around him.
“Stop it, Yoshiro!” Ryuuku instructed. Tabitha’s body formed a light yellow glow for an outline and a sort of mist left her mouth, forming something in front of her. She fell to the ground and the demon of Yoshiro Miyazuchi stood there. He was tall like Ryuuku, but he was gold and black with what looked like shredded bandages hanging off of his body. He smiled as he stood there and put both hands on his hips. Raito ran over to Tabitha and tried to hug her. Yoshiro held out his arm and pushed him back, knocking him to the ground.
“No. You don’t touch a demon possessed child until he or she has awaken.” Yoshiro replied, looking at him with a caveat look. “The very skin on her bones will turn to ash and she will turn into dust, leaving only her spirit, which will turn into a demon. That’s what happened to me.”
...I feel a little cheated that the Suethor bothered to note the killer was an 80s murderer without some sort of pop culture reference being thrown in. At least sing a Culture Club song or something...
Raito pulled on a tee shirt and walked in, rubbing his eyes. He looked and saw L, looking in total surprise up at Ryuuku and someone else beside him. Raito stared at the shorter one beside Ryuuku.
That someone had short black hair and a silver half-face plate that covered her left part of her forehead and her eye and cheek. She was wearing a black dress that was partially shredded as if she had gotten into a fight. She had very pale skin and you could almost see through her she was so thin.
“Raito.” The voice was multi-voiced, but one voice rang out through them all -- Tabitha’s. He stared and she looked down. “It’s me, Raito.” He neared her and tried to bring a smile about his face.
“Tabby?” She nodded.
“I… I had to come see you…” She looked up at him. “I’m ashamed… I’m ashamed, Raito. I don’t want to be in this form. But…” She looked back down. “I can’t help it.”
“No. Don’t be ashamed. You’re still as beautiful as ever.”
Y'know, aside from it being specificed, and "gigantic Mary Janes" being repeatedly brought up, there's been pretty much nothing to indicate this Sue is supposed to be a Lolita. And how is a voice multi-voiced?
Once they had ordered, the two sat down and talked for a bit. They were just doing the normal chit chat thing, when Raito came up. He pulled up a chair and joined their conversation, but once Shelby went to the bathroom, he started to talk to Tabitha to get to know her a bit better.
By the end of the entire lunch period, they had already gotten to know each other pretty well. They had just become good friends like that!
“Well, I think I need to be heading home!” Raito said, standing and stretching.
Raito and Tabby grew more into a great relationship, soon becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. As they got to know the other more, they became really close. Eventually, they got to a point where they were inseparable and finally, Raito popped the question 4 years later on her 18th birthday. This goes to show how true and real this love is… on either path, mass murderer Kira or not, they still found each other.
How romantic. She bumps into him, just like before, so obviously, this repeat of events proves she and Light are truly soul mates.