Week #9 - The Dead Watch Over the Living

[lycoris]

Title: Ghosts of the Mind
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Mikami. Gevanni briefly. Everything else is a bit confused. :)
Warnings:: Mildly freaky imagery.
Word Count: 3716

Comments

[versipellis]

Oh... oh my gosh. This was really quite painful, I think you really got across the unfairness of it all for Mikami. How difficult it is physically for him and how the guilt manifests itself... I really liked the way you had his mother in there, and the way you had the count of the days break down. Really good but so sad!

[lycoris]

I'm sorry but glad it was quite painful, if you see what I mean. Thanks so much for reviewing and I'm glad that you liked it.

[versipellis]

No, I know exactly what you mean ^^

[selve]

I love how you've interpreted this prompt, giving voice to the voiceless. This is now canon for me, plainly put. The story is so well orchestrated emotionally--I caught my breath when Teru's mother appeared. I actually feel I need to thank you for this--and I'm not even a huge Mikami fan (though I do like him). Excellent work.

[lycoris]

Thanks so much, I'm really glad that you liked it - and that it has become a type of canon! :D I'm so glad that it felt like it worked, I had a few moments of uncertainy while writing it so the fact that it comes out okay is reassuring!

[anbyrobanby]

The breakdown came over in perfect synch with his loss of order and power, and I also liked how the dead were essentially just relaying to him his own feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. Like the rug had been pulled from beneath him, and all these feelings were coming back now he was powerless and without purpose. It fits him brilliantly; good job!

[lycoris]

Thanks so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it and that it worked!

[speaky_bean]

Oh dear god, that was absolutely heart-breaking. I loved his inability to accept what was happening to him, I loved his extreme reliance on routine in this situation...people tend to cling to things like that even harder when they're in stressful situations, and it was just so sad watching it happen. And the end, the voices, his going mad...they seemed to reflect both what he was feeling himself, and they also seemed to be real ghosts. Takada would feel like that, and those criminals...oh, this was just so beautiful, it brought me to tears. Wonderful work as always. ♥

[lycoris]

Thank you so much! Yeah, I know what you mean about clinging to routine - Mikami's so into his anyway that after all the horribleness of the Yellowbox Warehouse, I think he'd be utterly desperate to get back to it and totally distraught by the fact that he can't. I never quite decided how much of it was madness and how much of it was actaul ghosts - I just sort of let it flow how it felt like flowing regarding that. Thank you! :)

[ich_bin_puppy]

Holy hell, that was epic. This was painful to read. And that is most definitely a compliment.

[lycoris]

Thank you very much! :D That makes me happy.